Thunderbirds (2004) movie review

Here's what you need to know; Alan Tracy is still in school, but dreams of the day that he can join his brothers and become a Thunderbird, his chance comes on a very bad day when Tracy Island is taken over by the Hood and his goons, with the rest of International Rescue trapped, it's up to Alan and his friends to save the day.
This isn't a movie I wanted to review on this very big day for Thunderbirds, but since it is such a big day for Thunderbirds, I figured now's as good a time as any to review the movie that killed Thunderbirds for the best part of the last decade.

Let's be reasonable, and start with what I like in this movie. Literally 5 minutes into the movie is a genuinely cool scene with the Thunderbirds and an oil rig fire, it's a scene that could have been even better if it didn't constantly cut back to Alan, but all in all I do like this scene. Unfortunately the longer you watch, the more that scene hurts, because it then starts to sink in just what this movie could have been, and how hard it failed, more on that later. I do also like some of the casting in this film, some, Ben Kingsley, Sophia Myles and Ron Cook I thought were pretty decently cast as the Hood, Lady Penelope and Parker respectively, and if anyone else in the movie was good maybe I'd have given Bill Paxton a chance as Jeff Tracy, unfortunately that's it for casting. Truth be told the only Tracy brother I could really tell apart from the others was John, and that's only because he was blond, all of the Tracy brothers are completely flat, they're not even characters, and that's just fucking sinful, here's a great idea, let's take the Tracy family, the main characters of Thunderbirds, and have 2/3 of them be nothing more than extras in a movie called Thunderbirds, but that's all they are, literally. I could stop there but I won't, Alan is our main character, so how is he, he's serviceable as an underdog who will save the day, completely serviceable, unfortunately serviceable doesn't always pass as good, and here it doesn't, compared to his friends however, he's a fantastic character. Tintin is played by Vanessa Hudgens, need I say more, and I think I'll mention Brains and his son as a pair, because oh my fucking god, in the Original Thunderbirds Brains had a stutter, and I never once found that stutter annoying, it was just something he did, but here, every word out of his mouth is torture to the ears, every st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-speech impediment outstays it's welcome, every sentence ends with him st-st-st-st-st-st-st-having di-di-di-di-di-a hard time speaking, it was pretty fucking irritating, and if that's not bad enough, we have 2 of them, dandy. Oh I'm not done, I haven't even mentioned Mullion and Transom, the Hood's 2 number one goons. Mullion is a character I actually found some enjoyment in, just because of lines like "I love a challenge", Transom on the other hand, you know what, I'm not even going there.

As far as the movie's plot goes it's pretty straight forward, it's not the worst movie plot ever, but, well, it's not the worst, the Hood wants to rob banks and he's going to do it with stolen Thunderbird equipment. Now is when I get back to my rant, a huge chunk of this film is set on Tracy Island, and not even the cool places on the island, no, in the jungle, yep, the jungle, how cool, and it's all stupid shit, like Tintin slowing down Mullion with a bee hive, how ingenious and effective, a bee hive. It's all this stupid stuff that will have the kids laughing because haha a bee hive to the FACE, it doesn't have to make sense in any way or even be funny, just bee hive to the FACE. This dumb slapstick is all over the place, and if it isn't bad enough on it's own, they even gave them little wacky sound effects, and they even put the little wacky sound effects elsewhere, like the fight scenes. Now I must admit I laughed a few times with Penelope and Parker, I thought that from time to time they were funny, but when Parker goes in for the knock out blow, and they throw in a wacky sound effect, it's ruined. Elsewhere in this story is Alan rising up and saving the day and being the hero, and it would be serviceable if it wasn't handled in such a clumsy way, Jeff Tracy just has no faith in Alan, to the point of it being douchy, and then there's the goo goos, you know that will they won't they thing Alan and Tintin had in the original, let's straight up state it nice and clearly, Alan likes Tintin, oh how romantic, please shoot me. That reminds me, writing, it's shit, and not so bad it's good shit, though there are a few gems here and there, it's just bad. Also, this movie is called Thunderbirds, so you'd expect to see some Thunderbirds, but really there's the Oil rig rescue at the beginning, maybe about 3 minutes, the Thunderbird 5 missile strike, maybe about 2 minutes, and the Thames recuse near the end, maybe about 10 minutes, plus maybe an extra 2 and a half for Thunderbird 1 and 2 take off sequences, that's it, really not a lot of Thunderbirds there, remember how I said that the oil rig rescue ends up being painful when you realise what the movie could have been, this is what I mean, the Thunderbirds are barely in it and that, like the Tracy brothers, is fucking sinful.

Now let's get into technicals, and I will actually take a bit of a break from my rant here, because I have some positive things to say. First off I'll talk about the design of the Thunderbird machines, because I actually like them, except Thunderbird 4, that thing's hideous, but the other 4 look pretty cool, especially Thunderbird 1, I think they're actually pretty well designed and designed with a serviceable amount of appreciation for the classic Thunderbirds, they're very in keeping with the spirit of the original Thunderbirds, again, with the exception of Thunderbird 4, and 2 of the 3 specialised vehicles, Mole looked pretty good, Firefly and Thunderizer not so much. And actually, being reasonable, the CG used to create them actually looks really good, now always, but sometimes it looks really good, I guess that's where all the $50 million went. The take off sequences also look kind of cool, I'll get to Thunderbird 2 in a sec, but Thunderbird 1 and 3 had pretty cool take off sequences, that's why I used one of them for the taster image, Thunderbird 2 is less cool, having a very slow and clumsy take off sequence with Thunderbird 2 being rolled onto the take off ramp on a giant platform, it's all just big and stupid. Jonathan Frakes' directing has it's moments, again I refer you to the taster image, but there are times where this film, purely from a visual standpoint, is joyous to look at, but with those high highs come some low lows, there are other times where it's really bad, and there are times when the camera shakes, not shaky cam, it's like someone taped a vibrator to the camera and turned it on before filming, it looks crap. Then there's the already mentioned wacky sound effects, coupled with a few jokes and scenes that really aren't that appropriate for kids, not in a clever way where they'll get it when they're older, just in a way that's really inappropriate and out of place.

This film has some good things, it has brilliant special effects, cool machines and some good performances, and there are times where the directing really shines, it's a shame then that from pretty much every other angle this film is complete and utter trash, it has no idea what Thunderbirds is, and instead goes in a direction that sends it straight down the road to hell. It's got bad acting, shit writing, characters that make my ears, eyes, and brain hurt, humour that isn't funny, and most shamefully a complete lack of any of the spirit or heart of the original Thunderbirds. It's a disaster, and it's a movie I'd advise you avoid at all costs.

Sci fi Legends: Thunderbirds

possibly the greatest and certainly the most successful series created by the Late Gerry Anderson. Thunderbirds came from a surprisingly dark place, Anderson's inspiration for the series came from the Wunder von Lengede, a mining disaster that happened in 1963 in Germany. I don't know how long I've loved Thunderbirds, like Godzilla it's just always been a part of my life, only with merchandise that was much easier to get, and I still have my Vivid Thunderbird 2 toy that's probably as old as me. I had videos of a couple of the episodes and had a crappy video recording of the 1968 film Thunderbird 6. While my love of Godzilla comes in phases, Thunderbirds does too, but the phases are much longer, this one started in March, and it really hasn't ceased yet, in fact in recent weeks I'd say it's been getting stronger. Thunderbirds means so much to me, and that isn't changing, probably never will.

Thunderbirds tells the story of the Tracy family, billionaire ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy and his sons; Scott, Virgil, Alan, Gordon and John, who secretly operate the top secret organisation International Rescue, an organisation ran from a base hidden under their pacific island home whose sole purpose is to save lives, enabling this purpose is the Thunderbirds, a collection of advanced supersonic aircraft and state of the art rescue equipment. Thunderbird 1, first response, Thunderbird 2, heavy lifter, carries the rescue equipment, Thunderbird 3, designed for Space rescues, Thunderbird 4, compact mini sub for underwater rescues, and Thunderbird 5, a space station that monitors radio transmissions for calls for help, at their disposal is also a host of specialised recue equipment that I won't bother naming because we'd be here all day. The origins of the concept of the Thunderbirds is important really because of what the Thunderbirds stand for. They are a family that risk their lives every day to save people, and that selflessness and bravery is very important to the series, and to the family themselves, since these are very valuable and admirable characteristics. But when you really get to it, Thunderbirds is a kids show, so what else was it in Thunderbirds that made them legends. Like I said in my Trapped in the Sky review, the Thunderbird machines are beautifully designed and instantly endearing, growing up my favourite was Thunderbird 2, probably because it was the one that did most of the work, but everyone has their favourite, and no one is wrong in their choice, because they're all really cool. More than that is the specialised equipment, again, I had a favourite, the Mole, there is a great deal of fun in seeing what rolls out of TB2's transport pod, and watching those often very interesting looking machines in action doing what they do. The sense of adventure is also a big part of it, everyone likes adventure, and the various missions the Thunderbirds go on are often cool and exciting, for example giant alligators, the underground fire, and the appropriately named Atlantic Inferno, this is a more simple endearing quality, but not as simple as the splosions, as I said in my Godzilla SFC, there is a part of the human brain that just finds enjoyment in destruction, it's fun and exciting, and things get destroyed in Thunderbirds, lots of things, for example, the Empire State building, and that's only episode 4.

Thunderbirds is loved for many reasons, and maybe I missed a few in this actually pretty short SFC, but that doesn't change the fact that Thunderbirds is a very loved series, and regardless of the reason, it will probably stay loved for many more years.

Thunderbirds Trapped in the Sky review

Here's what you need to know; the brand new Fireflash has taken off from London International Airport with a bomb in it's landing gear. Unable to land, and with time running out, International Rescue step in to try and save the doomed aircraft, but unwittingly fall right into the Hood's trap.
This episode aired 50 years ago today, so now let's look at the adventure that started it all.

Trapped in the sky tells a very cool story, it's the story of a plane that can't land, but more so it's the origins of International Rescue, and the mission that made them famous, in that there are a few things that this episode needs to do. Interestingly the Thunderbirds don't actually show up until the last 3rd or so, in the meantime we have characters, who are all decently interesting, and far more importantly, something the new series has failed to do until this point, make the danger feel more real. The episode spends a lot of time with air traffic control and the pilots aboard Fireflash as they try to think up a way to survive, these scenes really add to the gravity and the tension of the situation, as do the various rescue attempts before the Thunderbirds show up, the main one with the tow plane is some nail biting stuff. The episode also does a good job of making you care about the people involved, the Tracy brothers, the crew of Fireflash, etc, and it does a great job of introducing them, especially Lady Penelope and Parker, and their awesome Rolls Royce. This is Thunderbirds, so you know that at some point I'll start talking about the Thunderbirds, yeah, they are absolutely awesome, they are instantly endearing from the second you see them, they're just so damn cool, the shot of Thunderbird 2 coming in to land is a thing of beauty, as is just their design in general. The fact that they are all puppets and models only makes it more cool, because there's something physical there, so when things go boom, you really feel them going boom, and there are plenty of explosions. Finally, Trapped in the Sky's finale is some of the most intense shit supermarionation has ever achieved, it's truly nail biting when Fireflash comes in for it's final approach, what works is that it's not a flawless rescue, things go wrong, this sows the seed, in your mind you know that they will ultimately succeed, but the seed is there, there is just enough doubt to really make shit intense, this is something I gave the revision of this episode in Thunderbirds Are Go a bit of credit for, but when compared to the original, it's not even close, and it and the rest of the episode is perfectly accompanied by Barry Gary's incredible and iconic music.

If you were doubtful that I would call this episode a masterpiece, I'm sorry, but you just aren't paying attention, Trapped in the Sky cemented itself in television history for a good reason, and it is absolutely a masterpiece, and an absolute must watch.

Thunderbirds 1965 The Abominable Snowman trailer thoughts

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I adore Thunderbirds, and unsurprisingly, I've been very interested in the kickstarter project Thunderbirds 1965, a project that takes original voice recordings from the original Thunderbirds and adapts them into episodes using puppets and pyrotechnics and all that good shit. The first of these new old episodes; The Abominable Snowman, now has a trailer, and here are my thoughts. First off it's a classic Thunderbirds intro, and it's awesome to see a classic intro again, given how the new series tried but just didn't do it the same, it's great to hear the music and see the original countdown. Also, the early few shots with Thunderbird 2 look stunning, it genuinely looks like the 1965 original Thunderbirds. From that point on things lose that genuine look, at least in my opinion, you'd think that's a bad thing, but it actually really isn't, because even though you can tell it's not the original Thunderbirds, it's just so impressive how much they managed to nail the look, it's so nearly there that it is truly admirable. Something that looks perfect beyond imagining is the props, mainly of course the Thunderbird craft and the puppets, they look absolutely incredible, and with this and the various little pieces of video from the episode's production, the puppeteering is top notch. If I must have a criticism it's really only that the pyrotechnics don't seem to have as much kick behind them as the original, I know it's really minor, it's like complaining about the Stormtrooper helmets in the Force Awakens, but it's just something I thought, Thunderbird 1's VTOL jet just looks less powerful. I highly doubt that when I see the finished product I'll be bothered by it, in fact guessing from this trailer I'll very much Like the finished product, either way, I'm more excited than ever to see some good old classic Thunderbirds.

Ten Little Roosters review

Here's what you need to know; 10 Rooster Teeth employees attend a company banquet at an office lock-in, but things get out of control when they discover one of them is a serial killer, the game is now on to unmask the killer and survive the night, but as the list of suspects narrows, things only get worse for our Ten Little Roosters.
I don't think I've ever reviewed a web series on this blog, and I recently got round to watching this one, so let's jump in.

Now, on paper this is a classic who done it murder mystery, and that is the first positive I have, this is actually a clever mystery, the series does a great job of keeping you guessing who the killer is, and it's fun to play the game, as well as solve the ominous riddles and figure out who will die and who will live. There are little clues scattered throughout the series, and it's something that also gives it a lot of rewatch value, finding all the clues and watching the puzzle come together, it's done really cleverly. Ten Little Roosters is also very cleverly written, again with all the clues, but also with all the humour, this is a genuinely funny series, it's riddled with jokes both obvious and subtle, jokes that are more general while others are more catered to fans of Rooster Teeth and their various productions; RWBY, Achievement Hunter, Red vs. Blue etc, and these jokes tie into the murders, often in hilarious ways, but how I will not spoil. It's also worth noting that this series is absurd, it's completely ridiculous, but that is far from a negative when the series embraces it as much as it does, and it works, at least if you're familiar with Rooster Teeth, I personally have no problem with it, but it's something to remember if you don't like your comedy with added crazy. In the writing though there are a few holes, a few gaps in continuity that just feel out of place when the rest of it is so cleverly written, again, no spoilers, but it's something that just confuses me. Finally I haven't yet mentioned the characters, all 10 of the Roosters play exaggerated versions of themselves, and many are in themselves references to other Rooster Teeth productions, for example Ryan is a kilt wearing king with sociopathic tendencies, it's really funny, at least to me, to see the Rooster Teeth employees playing themselves, and it makes for some of the series' biggest laughs, that also makes it very easy to take sides when trying to solve the mystery, which only adds to the fun of solving it.

Ten Little Roosters is a lot of fun to watch, it's a very enjoyable murder mystery in addition to a hilarious comedy, and it's overflowing with little nods and gags that I just thought were brilliant, there are a couple flaws here and there, but they're petty, a result of not really having anything that I didn't like. I would therefore highly recommend Ten Little Roosters.

I did it

Today I bought a flat packed table from my local Home Bargains, it's a shitty little thing, but it's a table, apparently, looks more like a shoe box than a table, the point is I can't complain, I'm not snobby about tables. I built it myself, well, I say myself, my Dad was holding my hand pretty much the entire time, so I built it mostly myself, it's like Gordon Ramsey telling you step by step how to make a meal, and then you taking all the credit, so I'm not taking all the credit. Anyway, today I learned how to assemble flat packed furniture, useful life skill I guess.

Pan's Labyrinth (El laberinto del fauno) movie review

Here's what you need to know; Spain, 1944, Ofelia and her pregnant mother are moved to an isolated mill occupied by Ofelia's villainous stepfather Vidal. Little does Ofelia know that she has a much greater role to play, and must now prove herself to fulfil her destiny.

Here it is, del Toro's heavy hitter, his magnum opus, and a film I've been excited to review ever since I reviewed Cronos the other week, in fact since I started this blog, it would happen eventually, let's begin. Pan's Labyrinth is, like Cronos and The Devil's Backbone is a smaller, more personal film, which centres on a girl who is, like Jesus and Carlos before her, is in a very bad place, this time it's a mill under the control of Francoist soldiers led by Captain Vidal. Something that should be mentioned is the characters, of which this film has a few good ones, first off we have Ofelia, who is a brilliant character in my opinion, she's just a good character, she's likeable, caring, strong, but not a rock either, she has some emotional moments, and they really form a rounded and brilliant character. In addition to her you have Mercedes, who is also a very good character, she's a maquis informer, and her and the doctor help the local resistance from under Vidal's nose, their story is less interesting, but still really cool, and it gets even better as the film comes to a head. Vidal is a great villain, the guy is just scum, some of the things he does in the film are utterly horrid, and del Toro even went to the effort of making his gloves extra squeaky, he's not the most unhinged movie villain I've ever seen, but he's pretty unhinged. Of course then there's Fauno, who is probably the most interesting character in the film, for starters he's creepy as shit, with his chicken legs and his creaky sounds, it's impossible to tell what his motivations are, it's hard to tell if you should or shouldn't trust him, or if you should just run. The only character I can't say really stuck with me was Ofelia's mum, she was just eclipsed by everyone else around her and didn't really do much. The film's story is very simple on paper, but with all the little things going on in the mill and the side plot of the resistance, it's a plot that's very interesting and actually pretty creative, and as things really start to kick into gear, it just gets better and better, the last 3rd or so of the film is amazing.

This being del Toro's masterpiece, you really should expect some creative and cool looking imagery and effects, and to be brutally honest, this is by far del Toro's most beautiful film. Obviously this film has amazing effects, everyone has seen the pale man, he's the guy with eye balls in his hands, but what's amazing is how few of the film's effects were made with CG, obviously some were, like the fairies, but the giant toad is only CG about half the time, the pale man and Fauno are both Doug Jones in a suit, with minor CG enhancements here and there. So the practical effects look amazing, and impressively so does the CG, the more obvious ones look great, like the fairies and the toad, but by far the best ones are the ones you probably won't see, they're there, they're subtle, and I'm not going to spoil the fun. Pan's Labyrinth also has some beautiful imagery, again, some of it is subtle, but others are both incredible and completely disturbing, this film probably has the biggest number of deeper meanings in a del Toro film, and this film has a few, again, I'm not going to spoil the fun. Design is also top, not just with the Doug Jones', but in the sets, in the CG, costume, this film is just all round a joy to look at, even if you'll lose sleep from a good amount of it. It really helps in some of the heavier scenes, of which the film has a good number, I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't go in specifics, just know that this film has some really heavy stuff.

You should have seen this coming, but now I'm saying it, Pan's Labyrinth is a masterpiece, it's a film I genuinely can't find a fault in, and it's a film that will leave you with goose bumps and hit you where you live, Pan's Labyrinth is a must watch for sure.

I saw the end, it was glorious.

If I was normal last night would have been a normal night, but last night wasn't a normal night, last night was an eclipse, one that I sat out there freezing my arse off for 4 hours to see. Not joking about the freezing by the way, it was cold, and because I'm stupid I didn't check the lens, which had condensation on it, fortunately I wiped the lens before the peak of the eclipse, and I hope I got some decent photos. Lunar eclipses are when the Sun, Earth and Moon are all aligned and the Moon is completely covered by the Earth's shadow, interestingly though it doesn't completely disappear, it turns red. this is because sunlight refracts through the Earth's atmosphere, shorter wavelengths are scattered in the atmosphere, leaving only longer wavelengths, and thus the moon turns red. These photos are a bit naff, it was much better to see it than to look at these photos, but here they are. I don't care how cold it was, it was beautiful.

Doctor Who series 9 The Witch's Familiar review

Spoilers ahead for Doctor Who.
Here's what you need to know; believing his friends to be dead, the Doctor is trapped on Skaro at the mercy of Davros, but now maybe Davros has other plans, things may not be what they appear.

On the plus side / predictable side, it's explained how Missy survived dying in series 8, I won't explain, but I'll say I completely called it. That said, now here's something I was a bit disappointed by, that being Missy and Clara didn't die when the Daleks exterminated them, I was thinking that the Doctor's story would have been more impactful if they were actually dead, same with the destruction of the TARDIS. I didn't hate that they were alive, and they obviously wouldn't stay dead even if they were dead, but the episode starting with them out in the desert still alive really takes the thunder from the Doctor dealing with their deaths. The Doctor and Davros are the backbone of this episode and they have some really good scenes, it's cool to see these 2 polar opposites locked in a room together, and the Doctor is forced into some pretty emotional stuff in this episode. What I am going to say next is a huge spoiler, you've been warned, but let's talk about Davros' plan. Davros deceives the Doctor, tricking him into feeding his regenerative energy into Davros and thus the Daleks on Skaro, I really like the deception, because the matter of friend or foe is something this episode really plays with, and I thought the first deception worked, then the Doctor deceived Davros' deception and it kind of lost me a bit, as clever as the Doctor is, I don't believe that he would be able to completely see through Davros' play and think up a play of this own, especially given that Missy ends up saving him, did he also predict that she would save him, even after he thought she was dead, it just doesn't make any sense to me, I think it would have A been smarter and B more impactful if the Doctor genuinely fell for Davros' deception, given that what ends up ruining Davros' plan would have happened anyway. I really liked how the plan fails, with all the regenerative energy going to all the Daleks, including the rotten ones buried under the city, and the city just collapses into the sludge, I thought that was really clever, and really gross. I also adore the scene with Clara inside the Dalek and Missy trying to trick the Doctor into killing her, I loved that scene, I just did. And I liked the ending, which elaborates on the ending of the last episode, the Doctor goes back for Davros, but rather than killing him, he kills all the creepy hand monsters, I think it's a very good ending to the episode, it puts to rest the story of young Davros and the Doctor.

This episode had some slightly disappointing aspects, and a sizable and bothersome plot hole that the more I think about the more it bothers me. But it has a few really great moments, and a resolution that I really liked, I liked this episode in general, again, minus a few flaws, but it's not bad, and it's worth a watch.

In the forest of the fences

For the past 2 days I have been roaming my local area in search of anything worth taking photos of, in my search I found a few overgrown footpaths that lead to nowhere, a burned down cottage that I couldn't get into, and 2 old dog walk routes, one of which has changed considerably since I was last there. By changed I mean there is now barbed wire fences everywhere, the lake and some old ruins which I planned to visit are fenced off, which is extremely annoying, and a few sizable areas of the forest no longer have trees, what on Earth happened. I made the most of it, I found a river running through a more wooded area of the forest, at times it was probably the most claustrophobic forest I've ever been in. Neither of these days were particularly fruitful in number of photos, but at least I got some fresh air, and leg and back pains.

Hellboy movie review

Here's what you need to know; FBI agent John Myers gets transferred to the BPRD, where he joins forces with Hellboy and his fellow freaks in the eternal battle with evil. But now an old enemy has returned, and Hellboy must defeat him or face his destiny.

This film is something different from del Toro's usual films; Cronos, Mimic and The Devil's Backbone, while all of those were very dark, suspenseful horrors that dabbled in the supernatural, Hellboy literally goes all out with the supernatural but eases off the horror a good bit. Hellboy is by far del Toro's most light hearted film up until this point, and that is for me one of the film's most appealing elements, it's a film that you can have fun watching. A big part of that is the characters, which is where I'll start with this review. The characters are a bit of a mixed bag, some of them are serviceable, but are eclipsed by other characters, lets start with the weaker ones; John Myers is a character I ultimately didn't care about, he's a completely serviceable supporting character, but that's all, he is not remotely remarkable or really that interesting. The same could be said of the film's main villains, Rasputin and his Nazi girlfriend really aren't that interesting, they're just the bad guys, but like Myers, they're not remarkable. More interesting but still nothing amazing is John Hurt's Bruttenholm and Liz, Hurt's character is more likable than Liz, who looks like she's on downers for the entire movie, for some reason I don't like how she always sounds like her dog died for the entire movie, she's just a bit of a boring character, even if pyrokinesis is an absolutely badass superpower. Now for the better characters, and by better I mean the ones that make the film, Hellboy and Abe. Abe is a genius fish that can read minds, that sounds a lot stupider than it actually is, and he's really funny, some of the things he says just crack me up. Now onto to Bellboy, who is just completely awesome, he's badass, he's funny, he talks shit, but he must face adversity, everything I personally like about good movie characters, but with added shit talking. He has some brilliantly funny scenes, and his altitude and approach towards his job is awesome, but when he throws down it's pretty cool to watch, as him and the Hellhound throw each other around and lay waste to a subway station, he and Abe are by far the best parts of the movie.

The film's story is interesting enough to follow, but it's ultimately not one you'll remember, due largely to it's serviceable villain, it does have a good mix of action scenes and slower character scenes, the latter actually being the ones I prefer. That said, any scene with the crazy clockwork assassin was awesome, the guy was badass and really unsettling, especially when he's naked in the operating room and you see that fucked up beyond imagining face. Speaking of the clockwork assassin, this film has a really cool look to it, the design, the practical effects, the sets, they all have a very noticeable attention to detail, CG is used in this film, but just like Mimic, a lot of the effects are practical, and they look sweet, even if the jumping from lumbering guy in suit Hellhound to fast and lively CG Hellhound is a little noticeable, speaking of CG, it looks really good, there's one particular instance with Hellboy's hand where I didn't know that it wasn't a prop, this is an example of Jurassic Park syndrome, when the combination of CG and practical effects strengthen both types of special effect against becoming dated. Back to the film, the film also has a mixed bag of good and ok scenes, the first fight with the Hellhound is awesome throughout, the scenes with John Hurt in them are usually awesome, and the scenes with Hellboy and or Abe are gold, but one of the weaker ones is sadly the ending, no spoilers, but it just lacks the climactic ending of The Devil's Backbone, more comparable to Mimic, it goes for a big ending, and just ends up having an ok ending, it's not a bad ending, it's just not an ending that will leave any kind of impact.

Hellboy is a fun movie, it has some weaker characters but then it has Abe and Hellboy, who are completely awesome, it has some fun action and really good special effects, it has some brilliantly funny writing, and a story that, while not impactful, is still cool and enjoyable, Hellboy as a film is enjoyable, and I'd recommend it, it's worth a watch for sure.

Lone Wolf

It may not be Manchester train station, but when you're a few inches high, adventure can be found anywhere. today me and Noble 6 went out and took photos. These aren't the best photos I've taken, but I like this sort of toy photography, that's why I took them, maybe soon I'll be able to go somewhere cool and get some actual photography, in the mean time, enjoy.

The Strain season 2 Quick and Painless review

Spoilers for The Strain ahead.
Here's what you need to know; Abraham is on the hunt for the Occido Lumen, Fet and Dutch join forces with the police in the fight with the vampires, Eph heads for Washington with his vampire killing bio-weapon, and Feraldo's vampire killing campaign takes a blow.

This episode has a brilliant intro, with a squad of NYPD clearing a building of vampires, and getting attacked by the creepy little kid vampires which are now even fucking creepier if that's even possible, this is another really cool scene, especially when the kid vampires appear and start scuttling up walls and ceilings, my mum was in the room for this scene, I can tell that it really got under her skin, it was just cool. Eph leaves New York for Washington DC, I'm interested to see where this plot goes, though I still have a bad feeling about this bio-weapon. Eph spends most of this episode of a train, and there are some really cool scenes on the train, pretty much all of them have a noticeable sense of paranoia that makes them really intense, even when he's off the train there are a few intense scenes when he tries to get past security. I feel that I shouldn't need to say it at this point, but this week I accepted it, Zach isn't a character anymore, not for me, every scene he's in is just where's mom I miss mom blah blah blah, we get it, you miss your mum, now do something fucking useful. I'm glad when the scenes he's in end because he really annoys me, I mean when Gus can't kill his mum at least he understands that it isn't his mum anymore, Zach is just thick, get it in your head you dumb shit, she's a vampire. Back to the good, Dutch and Fet help the police clear the building, and it's cool to see the 2 vampire killing techniques; silver bombs and nail guns vs assault rifles and shotguns, I actually don't know which one I'd pick, both have their merits, and it's funny to see the police seeing silver as a weapon for the first time, and that scene with the vents, like something out of Eight Legged Freaks, I thought it was cool. Abraham was less interesting here than he has been in past episodes, but he has a really cool bit with his sword. Finally in good, Feraldo, a character who I hate, had a bit of a bad day in this episode, when she learns that her nephew is infected, I like that after her ruthless campaign she has been reminded that the vampires used to be people, and people cared about them in life. I also like seeing how cowardly she is, powering forward with this fuck the vampires cleansing, then preferring letting him turn to killing him there and then because it would be easier, I like it when characters I don't like have a bad day, what does that make me?

This is much better than last week, I feel like the story is actually moving again now Eph is in Washington, and it's got probably some of the coolest vampire killing in season 2 so far, mainly in it's awesome intro. Abraham doesn't do much in this episode, which is unfortunate, and Zach is still a dumb little shit, but the other character I hate has a bad time here, goodie goodie. this is a good episode, and it's worth watching.

na na na na na na na na batman

Today I had the option of Luke Skywalker's speeder and that speeder bike from the trailer to The Force Awakens, but rather then getting them, I got another Tie Fighter, it's a special forces Tie Fighter, so it looks awesome, though it is very lacking in the metal, it's really light for it's size, and the only metal is the cockpit, the rest is plastic, it looks too cool for me to hate, but it's a bit disappointing. Tell you what's better though,2 Hot Wheels batmobiles, the one that's less cool is the Tumbler from Batman begins, the other, it's the fucking Battank, oh hell yes. I really wanted a model Battank, I still think I'll hunt down a bigger one, but for now, I got me an adorable little model Battank, I'm happy about that.

The Devil's Backbone (El espinazo del diablo) movie review

Here's what you need to know; Spain, 1939, as the war rages, Carlos is abandoned at a remote orphanage. Things seem to be normal at the quiet little orphanage, at least at first, but something sinister brews, and a ghostly figure wonders the halls, it's seems evil forces are at work here.

Let's get this out of the way, The Devil's Backbone is a much better film than Mimic, I know I said I enjoyed Mimic, and I did, but this film is more comparable to Cronos, which is definitely not a bad thing. Lets start with what I like, I like the smaller scale of this film, about 95% of this film takes place in the orphanage, that and the orphanage's very remote location makes the whole place feel somewhat eerie and isolated, and there is a history to the place, not just with the ghost, but with things like the unexploded bomb in the courtyard. Continuing with the smaller scale, unlike the Judas bugs in Mimic, the fishy goings on in this place isn't going to bring an end to the world, the film, it's events and it's consequences are practically entirely on an island. The Devil's Backbone also tells a very personal story with it's characters, who are mostly interesting, I only say mostly because of the good amount of people in the film that from what I remember don't even have names, and this is a film where the people really matter, people like the doctor played by Federico Luppi, Carlos and his fellow orphans, and the caretaker/ hardcore dickbag Jacinto. The film's story does take a good while to get going, In fact the first half to 2/3 of the film is a pretty slow burn, that may sound boring, but what drives this film is again the smaller, more personal story and it's characters, that said, when I think about The Devil's Backbone, I think about the last half to 1/3 of the film, when shit really hits the fan. I think this film is well paced, again with the slow burn first half and then the last half that I will avoid spoiling now. But I will say that more like Mimic than Cronos, this film doesn't so much end with a bang, though there is a bang in there and the film definitely ends with something.

It being del Toro you should expect at this point that I will go on about imagery and effects and blah blah blah, well here we go. This film does away with the sci fi elements of del Toro's last film and goes full on ghost film, and like vampires in Cronos, this is a very cool and interesting take on ghosts, it's not as creative as Cronos, but it's still an interesting interpretation of ghosts, and the design of the ghost is awesome, it's really creative and creepy as shit. The cool design doesn't stop there, the effects in general are really cool to look at, there's one shot, again with single shots, that I think is incredible, it's near the end of the film during a rain storm, there's also a beautiful if tiny effect with a red ribbon. The film also has some really cool cinematography, there's a lot of landscape shots that are really cool, and inside the orphanage there are a lot of cool creepy moments, including some long hallway shots with the ghost. The ghost stuff is handled really well, and this is a really creepy film at times, as well as a bloody one, especially in the last half, lots of blood, I wouldn't call it a scary film, but I can't deny that there are times where it gets under my skin, especially one in particular with a curtain, I won't explain, but now you know. Though, there is one thing I thought about the ghost, and that was the feeling that less could have been more; they show the ghost really early on in the film, and quite a few times throughout the film, I think he would have been more scary if he was less present. However, towards the end, I think the direction the ghost story went was really good, even if he is on screen a bit too much in my opinion.

The Devil's Backbone, is easily as good as Cronos and in some aspects I'd say it's better, it's not as scary or creative as Cronos, but it tells a more personal and interesting story, that minus some forgettable side characters, and it has del Toro's stamp of beautiful effects and directing. This is a film I'd highly recommend, though like Cronos, this isn't a film you'd watch for fun, check it out

Doctor Who series 9 The Magician's Apprentice review

Spoilers ahead for Doctor Who.
Here's what you need to know; the Doctor has made a terrible mistake, and now an old enemy calls for a last time. He and his friends, Clara and Missy answer the call, only to be dragged into a trap that could be the end of them.

This episode is something I was not expecting, for a first episode of a series, it has the feel of a finale. This episode opens with a very good twist, I did say this review would have spoilers, so you've been warned, The Magician's Apprentice opens in a battlefield, and a kid is running through the battlefield, and ends up trapped by creepy hands with eyes on them sticking out of the ground, I think the writers are doing the same as me and preparing for Crimson Peak. The Doctor appears through the fog and offers to save the kid's life, until the kid says his name, I did expect that it would be someone important in the Doctor Who universe, I did not expect him to be Davros, and at that point I was completely engaged. Now onto 2 things that I was less engaged by, the first is U.N.I.T, I don't understand why U.N.I.T has become so important lately, especially since after series 8 ended there wasn't really anyone left in U.N.I.T that I liked, they are only in the episode briefly, but I just don't think they should be as important as they are. The other thing is something I warmed to as the episode went, Missy, on one hand, how is she alive, that's something that the episode doesn't really explain, and why does her head pop out of the screen, whatever it was meant to be, it was stupid. just like with series 8 though, I warmed to her character, even though I'm not entirely sure why Clara is able to stay calm around the woman who turned her boyfriend into a Cyberman. Moving forward, I loved the scene where the Doctor rolls into the battle arena rocking an electric guitar on the roof of a tank, it was just so bizarre I couldn't not laugh, then in slithers the snake guy and I just shrug, it's not that I hate him, I just find him strange, why is he a giant snake covered in other snakes, and he doesn't do anything other than slither and say a few lines, why not just have a guy in robes, it would be less weird. Now here is the shit, at a certain point in this episode I was completely hooked, to be honest I don't want to go any further with the plot because I think spoiling it would be dumb, even in a review filled with spoilers, there are some spoilers that should never be spoken. But there's one thing I don't think I like, in previous series' of Doctor Who, after a Dalek shoots someone, the body doesn't get disintegrated, but here it does, why? Is a dead body too grim for the kids, in a show that used to have a pansexual space con artist played by John Barrowman, it may sound morbid, but it's a little detail that really bugs me, especially given how dark Doctor Who can be.

The Magician's Apprentice really had me surprised, I can't say it's a flawless episode, there are some weird things, like the big head computer screen and the snake guy, and there are some things that just don't make sense, like how Missy is still alive. The Doctor is cool in this episode, the big twist at the beginning was awesome, the reveal at the end was even more awesome, and it ends on a cliff-hanger that actually made me mad that I have to wait 7 days to see the end, meaning either I'm really impatient, or this episode had me gripped, this is a damn good episode that I would highly recommend.

minecraft madness

Me and a friend have been burning time on Minecraft in creative mode, he built a very stylish and creative little house while I pissed around nearby building monuments to my love of Thunderbirds. I built 3 Thunderbird 1s, each a representation of a different era of Thunderbirds; the 1960's, the 2000's, and the 2010's.,weirdly the one I'm most proud of is the 2004 design, probably because I designed it from scratch, though I remember hating the movie, oh well.

Mimic movie review

Here's what you need to know; a deadly virus is running loose in New York, with the body count piling up, scientist Susan Tyler creates the Judas breed, a genetically engineered insect designed to kill the carriers of the virus. But years later, with the virus long gone, it seems that the Judas breed managed to survive, and has evolved into something monstrous.

Here we go, Mimic. Something you'd expect I like about this film is the Judas breed, and actually, yes I do, I must admit that it's not as creative as the Cronos device, or as pretty, I mean these bugs are vile, they're slimy and they click and scuttle and they're just grim things, and what really makes them creepy is something I won't spoil, but they have a little trick that is brilliant and completely terrifying. The bugs themselves when pulling this trick look creepy as shit, especially when they're outside at night in the rain. Characters in this film are an oddity for me, Susan is the only character I remember the name of, apart from Jeremy, who's in the movie for about 30 seconds and I only remember because it's Norman Reedus. None of the characters are particularly interesting or memorable, and there's a kid in the movie that's just weird, not creepy, not funny, just weird, in that Lizzie from Walking Dead kind of way. Really here's what I remember about the characters, Susan and her husband are trying for a baby, the cop sings when he's scared, and the shoe guy is religious, I didn't particularly dislike any of the characters, it's just that I didn't really care. This film's story however is something I like, again, I think the Judas are cool, and this is a world I wanted to know more about with this virus and the cockroaches, and reason would have you believe that a 6 foot winged insect would be easy to spot, but that's the beauty of it, again, no spoilers. The film's plot is interesting enough to keep you watching, but what really drives it is the bugs, and the characters unravelling the mystery and trying to stop them, and unlike Cronos, this film does end with a bang, and there are a few good character moments near the end, by that I'm on about the cop.

Ok, let's just say it, this film has some beautiful imagery. Seeing a mysterious silhouette in a window, or on a rooftop, or plastered on the side of a subway tunnel, my personal favourite, is spine chilling, the empty snow covered streets at the beginning or the dark, rain soaked streets and dark, decaying subway tunnels of the rest of the film are all environments that just look unsettling, the snow at the beginning in particular, in the context of the film's prologue, the film also has some really creepy lighting, mainly down in the tunnels, the way the lights from above cast down with a dim blue glow, or the ominous orange light of the glow sticks, or even just the glisten of the slime gives the film a very dark, sickening look. On the subject of slime, let's talk about the special effects, I'll start with the easy target, the CG, this film came out in 1997, so is saying the CG looks a bit rough really a fair point, but yeah, the CG hasn't held up quite brilliantly, it's not the worst most dated effects I've ever seen, not by a long way, but it does show it's age. On the plus side, this film pulls a Jurassic Park and uses both CG and practical effects, and it's del Toro, so you know the practical effects will hold up, and yes they do, very well, in fact it kind of makes me wonder why so much of this film's effects was CG when the practical effects look so good, for example the little baby Judas bugs would look much better as a practical effect, and it does take away from the dated looking CG, not hugely, but it does. And to be even more fair, the CG only looks noticeably dated when the Judas bugs are in well lit areas or in large numbers, when one of them is in a tunnel where there is little light, it actually looks really good, and I think that's where they belong, in the dark, tight environments of the underground.

Mimic is a fun little movie, it's not even close to brilliance, but there's nothing in this movie I particularly hate, the characters are serviceable but forgettable, the film tells an interesting story with a really cool enemy, it has some gorgeously creepy imagery and creepy and very cool looking practical effects, while it does have some noticeably dated CG at times. Mimic is a film that I enjoyed watching, but it's not a film that I want to watch again the second it ends, it's worth a watch to see what you think, I personally like it, but I wouldn't say I love it.

Break the chain!!!

Thank god, something that isn't a short ramble about a new toy or a review, let us return to Bathpool for some more photos. So here we have a photo of the lake, at the end swarming with lily pads that is, a photo from the other end of a duck, quack quack, an one taken in the surrounding woods when I was playing around with my camera's flash setting and got a few really colourful photos, enjoy.

maybe this is getting out of hand

That's right, 3 more Star Wars Titanium ships, shit, this week has been review, idiocy, review, idiocy, review, review, idiocy, sorry if it's getting monotonous, because in edition to obnoxious, I think it's monotonous. Here is another Millennium Falcon, this one actually sits on it's display stand, which instantly makes it better then the 4 pack one I got the other week, we also have a Y wing, which came in a crushed box, much to my annoyance, fortunately besides one loose landing foot, the ship itself is fine. And finally we have Kylo Ren's command shuttle, I must admit, I know nothing about The Force Awakens, other than Kylo Ren's name and what is common knowledge, I suppose that's a good position to be in though, and this command shuttle is an abstract looking thing in my opinion.

Tomb Raider Definitive Edition game review (singleplayer)

Here's what you need to know; while searching for an ancient lost kingdom hidden in the Pacific, the Endurance is wrecked after a violent storm. Among the surviving crew is young adventurer Lara Croft, who finds herself stranded on an island that soon becomes Hell on Earth when she runs into it's cultish and murderous inhabitants, but the island is not what it first appears, and with escape not being an option, Lara must unravel the mysteries of the lost kingdom.
For this review I will not be referring to the 2013 game, simply because while I did play it, I haven't played it for a long while, I'll be looking at this remaster as it is on it's own.

What should be apparent from the taster picture is that this Tomb Raider is a radical departure from the older games, on one hand, if you like the older games, this is bad, but on the other hand, let's see how well this very different take on Tomb Raider does. If I had to describe what this game feels like, it's like if Uncharted, The Last of Us and Far Cry 3 all went splat and produced a Tomb Raider game. I'll start with the story, and what I liked and didn't like, this is a dark game in terms of narrative, a lot of fucked up things happen to Lara throughout her adventure, and what I like about this is it allows for the game to tell a very emotional and dramatic story, more on that later. The residents of the island are insane, and the game holds nothing back in letting you know this, unfortunately this does get a little old, the 5th or 6th time you crawl through a tunnel filled with mutilated bodies or come across a human sacrifice or mass grave it stops being shocking, which is also to say this game has some really fucked up imagery, and there are definitely moments that unsettle even me, one of which is really early on in the game, definitely not for those with weak stomachs. This is also a very violent game, gunfights are vicious, blood splatters everywhere, environments crumble under heavy fire, and blood, dust and various other substances cover the screen, an effect which probably sounds annoying, but is actually really cool, and it really adds to the brutal and unforgiving setting of the island. Normally you'd be annoyed when you die in a game, but in Tomb Raider sometimes I wasn't, I was too busy being in awe at the gruesome as hell death animations. The story of Tomb Raider starts small, but escalates as Lara learns more about the island, the game actually has a really slow first hour or so, and while it's not bad, it is my least favourite section of the game along with the final mission, more on that later too. But thankfully that slow opening pays off, no spoilers here, but it's a rough scene that is a really important scene for Lara, I think given the nature of the scene love might be the wrong word, but I love the scene. In fact there are a few scenes that I love, another involves Lara, a helicopter and a lighter, that's all I'll say. Lara becomes a protagonist you really care about, she doesn't start as a badass bow wielding hero, but the hardships she endures and the journey she goes on is something you can really get behind. Unfortunately her friends are far less interesting, and each one is ultimately someone you've seen before in either a movie or a game, the same can be said of the game's villain, who is ultimately not a very memorable character, only once did I really feel for Lara when one of her friends died, and that is unfortunate. Also, as the narrative unfolded, it started going a bit nuts, I did like the story, it's just I think the supernatural element of the story was a bit too bizarre, to the point of being out of place. Overall though I didn't think the supernatural element brought the game's story down, I'm more disappointed by the flat side characters, but this still a fun story will have you interested from beginning to end, and it has a brilliant main in Lara.

Graphically this game is amazing, environments often look beautiful, weather effects are amazing, the effect I mentioned earlier with particles hitting the screen looks amazing, minus all the gruesome imagery it really is a pretty game to look at. This is by far the most action heavy game in the Tomb Raider series, good thing then that the combat for the most part is fun. In this game Lara has 5 weapons, a pistol, good for medium range, a rifle, good for medium range and large numbers with unlockable grenade launcher for extra firepower, a shotgun, good for close quarters, an ice pick, good for gruesome finishing moves and silent takedowns, and my favourite, the bow. All of these weapons can be upgraded using scrap you find throughout the island to make them more powerful, more accurate, etc, and you can learn skills that allow you to retrieve fired arrows, carry more ammo, so on and so on. Slowly you will grow in strength as you upgrade your guns and unlock more skills, that said, in my play through, I did suffer a lot of really quick deaths. The game has a pretty decent stealth system, that is by far the most fun way to take on the baddies, you can sneak around, whacking guys with your ice pick or taking them out quietly with the bow, but when you're spotted the enemies have a habit of A all knowing where you are immediately and B never losing sight of you, there was one instance where I was spotted in a dense forest level at night, and I ran around the trees trying to lose them, and yet they still never lost me, I was able to kill them that time, but there are times when you're spotted and you die before you even know what happened, these don't really become noticeable until near the end, but it just feels cheap. Fortunately when you're not stopped the bow is really fun to use, it's not my favourite videogame bow, but it's up there, the other guns all function just fine, and the shooting and for that matter climbing in general has a very Uncharted feel to it. something cool about 1 gun, the shotgun, is you can use it to explore the environment, blowing through obstructions to clear paths, though this isn't really utilized anywhere else apart from the bow, and in both cases not a lot. There are various little secrets you can find throughout the island, and at first some of them were unreachable, but as you acquire new gear you can go back and find them, but the gear you needed was usually either on hand or just around the corner, so these secrets were never really hard to reach. Especially the ones I cared about, the tombs; scattered throughout the island are several hidden tombs that you can find and raid for goodies, these were fun, and I kind of wish either there were more of them, or they were more important, however I really had fun with the tombs. Really the only thing wrong with the gameplay aside from some cheap feeling deaths is that the last few missions are a bit weak, it's just wave after wave of bad guys sometimes and it gets tiresome at a point, the game kind of has a final boss, but it's not a very challenging for inventive fight, it feels more like a weak mini boss than an actual boss fight, and the build up to it is just loads of smaller enemies, it felt like the last level of Uncharted, but more drawn out, and with many more enemies. Finally, on the subject of Uncharted, several times in the game, Lara will get caught up in these massive setpieces, and they are incredible, these moments really are marvel to watch as literally the world collapses around you and you must quickly navigate your way out, it's amazing that she A ends up in so many of them and B survives all of them, but they are just too cool to not like.

I have my issues with Tomb Raider, it's got a weak line up of side characters, some of the action gets tiresome, sometimes the game can just be cheap, but there are things here that I adore, Lara as a character is fantastic, the bow is fun, the tombs are awesome, and there are some heart in mouth moments both with story moments and enormous setpieces, I don't think it's the masterpiece so many people claim it is, but I still think it's an amazing game that is worth a try for sure.

The Strain season 2 The Silver Angel review

Spoilers for season 2 of The Strain ahead.
Here's what you need to know, Abraham and Dutch travel to the vampire-free Staten Island in search of an old colleague of Palmer, Eph decides to bond with his son when he and Nora aren't working on their anti-vampire bio-weapon, meanwhile Gus has a run in with a familiar TV face.

At first I didn't know what to make of the little black and white film at the start of this episode, but as it went on, I started to like it, I never stopped thinking it was weird, and I don't yet see why it was needed, but to be fair, it was a fun little snippet of really cheesy Luchador vampire killing. That said something I really don't understand is the Silver Angel himself, why is he important, because in this episode he doesn't do anything other than watch old Luchador films and be a dick to Gus, I don't know, maybe he'll become important later in the season. Speaking of Gus, I liked the scene where he and the Master were talking, I just thought it was creepy watching the Master taunt Gus using his turned mum. Meanwhile the part where Eph, Nora and Fet are delivering the infected vampire is just ridiculous. It kind of reminded me of Walking Dead with how casual and calm they are around the vampires, but that's not what I found truly ridiculous in this scene, that I won't spoil. What's going on with Eph and Nora's bio weapon is also really cool, it seems to really be getting somewhere in killing the vampires, but I just have this nagging feeling that something is very wrong, and I thought it the minute the vampires started throwing themselves off of rooftops, I don't know if I'm right, but I think the Master is playing with them, that that little mass suicide was just a card in his game. Once again I must say Zach is a bit weak, there's a scene with him and Eph with a really forced flashback. On the subject of flashbacks, the flashback with Abraham and Palmer I felt doesn't really add anything, other than maybe showing why Palmer joined the Master, or at least hinting why, and throwing in the possibility that a religious artefact that no doubt still exists, might not actually exist. Finally, the subway scene with Fet has officially determined who is my favourite character in this show, Fet's just awesome, that said, I am unsure on his arrest. Surely someone as awesome as Fet can get in at least a couple more hits before being beaten, quite viciously I might add, also, how is his arrest going to fit into the overall story of the season, I also said that about Angel, and, in Vaun's absence, Gus, there's a lot of loose threads, though I suppose we're only 4 episodes in. To be honest this episode is not better than Fort Defiance, obviously there are things I liked, like the Luchador film and the stuff with the bio weapon, but this episode only really had about 3 cool scenes, and the loose story threads are piling up.

This may be a good idea.

Today I bought even more toys, god damn, I'm on a spree, this time it's 3 more Star Wars toys. I did some reading this time, turns out these guys are something called the Titanium series, which is part of the Star Wars Black series, I know it's written on the boxes, but I'm stupid and I don't read. Here we have 2 more X wings and a Star Destroyer. I'm really starting to like these little metal Star Wars ships, especially the X wings, which I have 4 of. Something I've noticed is while I have 4 X wings, I appear to only have 2 sculpts, just with different colours, not that I mind, because I think they all look cool, particularly the one on the left in this photo. As for the Star Destroyer, it's a Star Destroyer, even I must admit when it first lumbered onto the screen I thought that thing looked business. Now I have a little metal one, and 4 X wings, a Tie Fighter and the Millennium Falcon, these things beat those crappy Little 4 inch figures I got last week into the dirt.

Cronos movie review

Here's what you need to know; elderly antique dealer Jesus Gris makes a mysterious discovery among his antiques, a strange little device called Cronos, little does he know that it will gift him the power to live forever, but at a terrible cost. Now the old Jesus Gris is dying, and a monster is taking his place.
This review was supposed to come out on Monday, coming up to the release of Crimson Peak, I will be watching and reviewing all of the films directed by Guillermo del Toro, with the exception of Blade 2, starting of course with his first film, Cronos, released in 1993

So now lets begin with what I like, starting with the prologue, which shows the history of the Cronos device, the prologue does a reasonably good job of showing how the device came into existence without going too much into what it does. Now lets mention the characters, starting with Gris. Gris is no hero, nor is he a villain, something this film does a good job of doing is showing Gris as just a guy, Gris is a likable guy too, he manages to stave off committing atrocity for a good while, and he is also a man who deeply loves his family, particularly his granddaughter, who serves as a rock for Gris as his situation worsens. The somewhat ironically named Angel, played by Ron Pearlman, is effectively the film's main baddie, if that title doesn't go to his uncle, Angel is a very good baddie, he is arrogant, selfish, and very vein, his allegiance to his dying uncle is strictly down to money, and he starts off in the film asking Gris about plastic surgery. Angel is also kind of comic relief in the film, it's just hard to find his vanity and when he screams with annoyance, then shifts instantly to calm and civil not amusing. His uncle the other hand, no humour there, just creepy, while he's less intimidating than the brutish Angel, he just gives off a vibe of ill intention, and his unrelenting desire to obtain the Cronos device is one of  Gris' biggest obstacles in the film. Another major obstacle Gris faces is himself, as he becomes addicted to the effects of the Cronos device, and begins to feel it's unpleasant side effects, there are a couple of really unpleasant scenes, one in particular near the end that is also pretty damn intense, as he contemplates surrendering to his temptation. The film does however have a few less interesting characters, while she is very important to him, Gris' granddaughter is not a very memorable character in my opinion, neither is Gris' wife. There's one guy I remember, though I don't remember his name, I do however remember him being a bit weird, but not in a fun way, more in a slowly back away way, not that I didn't think he was kind of funny in his absurdity, you'll know who I mean when you see him.

Now, this is a del Toro film, and I must tell you, this film has some style, there are some scenes where the style is just amazing, there is one near the end that I obviously won't spoil, but I'll just say I adore this scene, everything, the colours, the lighting, the sound, I think it's outstanding, it's also one of those more vile scenes where Gris struggles with his temptation, which makes it a pretty rough watch if you have a weak stomach. Speaking of weak stomachs, while this film isn't particularly gory, there is a lot of blood, and it's not just blood, it's thick, dark blood, I actually studied this film in sixth form, and I could waffle about style, symbolism, romanticisation, blah blah blah for hours, but I won't, to keep it short, just know that Cronos has some down right beautiful and down right vile scenes, particularly the bathroom scene, but no spoilers here, don't worry. If I must really come up with a real negative I can only really think the film doesn't exactly end with a bang, and the final 'showdown' between Gris and Angel isn't much of a showdown. But that's missing the point, as I said at the beginning, Gris isn't a hero, he's just a guy, and this isn't an action story, this is a personal story about a normal old guy who becomes addicted and starts losing grip of himself, in that regard, the ending of the film is actually pretty powerful. One more good thing though, the Cronos device itself, it is beautiful to look at, until it's wound up that is, spoiler inbound, unless you want to know what Cronos is before watching the film, just go to the conclusion. Cronos effectively turns it's user into a vampire, once they use the device, they become addicted to it, sunlight burns them, their skin goes white, and they develop an unrelenting thirst for blood, I love different takes on classic monsters, and del Toro made it fascinating in Cronos, I really like the idea of the Cronos in this film, even if I wouldn't want it anywhere near me ever.

Cronos is a very enjoyable film, though some of it's supporting characters are a bit forgettable, and the film's climax isn't very climactic, this is a film about Jesus Gris, so criticising it for these things isn't really fair, the film is beautiful to look at at times, but there are also numerous times where you'll want to look away, and a film that can do both is probably going to be a good film. It's not Guillermo del Toro's best, but first attempts never are, and even then, this film is definitely worth checking out.

Mega Bloks Halo UNSC attack Gausshog set

Another day, another Mega Bloks Halo set, this time it's another Warthog, as well as 2 mini figures, a Master Chief and a new Halo 5 Arbiter. Same as yesterday with the Ghost set I will first give my thoughts on the vehicle, which is in this set is a UNSC warthog with a Gauss turret. This is a mega bloks Warthog, I own many of them, and to no surprise I'm sure, they're all very similar, it is however in colour very similar to the CE Halo warthog which I sadly do not have the privilege of owning, and I really like the colours on this thing, black with yellow accents. So I like the colours, and, unlike the Ghost yesterday, I'm not as annoyed by all the specialised parts on the Warthog, probably since I have the first generation warthog and I can see with my own eyes how much better this design looks. But again, this vehicle isn't incredible, my favourite mega blokes Halo warthog is the Warthog Resistance set, I think it looks brilliant, and while I obviously don't hate the look of this one, in fact I love the colours, it's just not as cool as the warthog resistance hog. Also, now being more critical, the turret is definitely an improvement from the last piece of shit Gausshog I bought, but while it doesn't have the same stability problem as the last one, it still has a stability problem, one that I've managed to at least sort of mend using my spare parts, I will however give it the benefit of the doubt and say this is an isolated issue, since it doesn't effect any of my other hogs. Something I'll also put down to an isolated issue is the stiff wheels, they have no problem rolling, but their suspension is crap. Wrapping up the vehicle part of the set, I do like this a lot more than the Ghost I got yesterday, and I actually like this warthog, it's just not an upgrade on any of the more recent hog designs, and mine, or at least hopefully just mine, has a few issues, but it's not a bad little thing.

Now for what I really bought this set for, the mini figures, remember how I said Jul 'Mdama was no Thel 'Vadam, here we have a Thel 'Vadam, in his new Halo 5 armour, which is all removable and interchangeable. He too, as well as using the new armour system, uses the new mini figure design with improved articulation, and I still love the new articulation, and for the most part I like the armour. I think that his armour looks dumber in mega bloks form than in what I've seen of the game, which is to say up until the helmet I think his armour looks fine for design and sculpt, maybe not for colour, but let's talk about that helmet first. It's a clumsy thing, you can't see it in the photo, but it has spines on the back that from what I've seen of the game is actually part of his body armour, but for some reason on the toy it's attached to his helmet, greatly limiting head articulation. Minus the pretty big issue of the head however, his articulation is solid. As is the Chief's, who also uses the new design and armour. What makes this Chief stand out however is the colour, he is a much, much darker green than previous figures from mega bloks, but this isn't a bad thing, I think it looks great, but it makes me think why does his paint have such a dark tone when Arbiter's doesn't, I think the Thel figure would look a lot better if his gold armour a darker shade, but that's just me. Finally, you might notice it on Chief in the photo, he has a crack painted into his visor, which is really cool, it's just cool, nothing against the poncho, it was cool, but it's good that Mega Bloks included that little detail.

This is a much better set than the Covenant Commander set, not only does it have a much better vehicle, even if that vehicle is nothing mind blowing on it's own, but just like that set, it has 2 great mini figures, even if one of them has a dumb looking helmet that hinders articulation pretty badly, they're both figures of important characters, and they're both sweet little figures with all their articulation. I'd say this set is worth it if you like these characters or you like the Halo Mega Bloks line.

*This post has a bugged layout for some reason, I can't fix it either, hopefully it won't happen again, apparently the main photo of the hog is in the centre.