Halloween Week: Ready or Not movie review

Here's what you need to know; Grace already knew that her new husband's family, the rich and powerful overlords of a massive gaming company, were a little crazy, but when she finds herself playing hide and seek with them on her wedding night, she discovers that crazy is an understatement. The rules are simple, she cannot leave the house, she has to stay hidden until morning, and if they find her, they sacrifice her to Satan, but with no chance of escape or rescue and the clock ticking, it'll be one hell of a night.
This is a film that snuck up on me; I didn't know it existed until some of the YouTube film critics I'm subscribed to put up reviews of it. Fast forward a few weeks and my sister and I go out for a meal and a film, and while she originally wanted to watch The Lion King, she soon changed her mind and we went to see Ready or Not, not sure what made her change her mind but I am glad she did, because The Lion King is a piece of shit and the fact that it's made a billion and a half at the box office makes my blood itch. I digress, the point is I saw Ready or Not, and it was good.

Something that I was curious about was the film's runtime; it's ninety-five minutes long, which is surprisingly short, but at the same time, for a film with a premise like this, any longer and it'd almost certainly start to strain. The film's prologue throws you in at the deep end with the last game of Hide and Seek they played before bouncing forward to the wedding. It's naturally here that we are introduced to our characters; Grace, our newlywed lamb, Alex, the hubby, and the rest of his family who are a bunch of dickheads. But two things stick out in this opening act; the film's biting script, and Daniel, and both for similar reasons. Daniel is easily the film's strongest character; being a relatively sane person in the midst of his insane relatives, and a person who's experience with said insane relatives has broken his spirit and reduced him to a cowardly, cynical alcoholic. Over the course of the film, we see the extent to which his family's devil worshiping has affected him, making his loyalties surprisingly nebulous as he wrestles with doing the right thing or letting an innocent girl who he may or may not want to bone die. And don't be fooled by the appearance, Grace is one tough lamb; far from your stereotypical horror victim who always makes the wrong choices, she fights back against her hunters, getting out of tight spots through a combination of luck and rugged determination. It's that dash of Ellen Ripley that makes her far more compelling to watch than your typical horror chick, her will to survive in this crazy situation, and her practicality, from using teapots as weapons to using her wedding dress as a makeshift first aid kit, in short, if you happen to be a rabid feminist, this might be your kind of chick, but then again, she's also smoking hot, so maybe not.

And if you're the kind of rabid feminist that thinks a character facing adversity is somehow misogynistic, then this film definitely isn't for you because Grace gets the shit kicked out of her. By the end of the film, she is a mess; having been stabbed, cut, shot, drugged, fallen from heights, impaled, hit in the face, you know, normal hide and seek stuff. And the film doesn't shy away from the violence, it's almost like it enjoys the cruelty as Grace goes to ever escalating extremes to stay alive and the family gets ever more frantic and aggressive. And like Grace, the family aren't trained killers, they're idiots; a gaggle of rich twats with archaic weapons they don't know how to use, whose incompetence as a group is one of the reasons Grace manages to best them. Daniel is, as I said before, easily the most interesting of the bunch, being the one who's beyond caring about what happens to him or his family. But the husband actually has an interesting ark in the film as well, one that may disappoint you if you were hoping it would go a certain, less nihilistic way. Obviously to say why would be a spoiler, but there's a point where he makes a choice and while I get it if you hate that choice, I think it's kind of interesting, and it makes the film's finale very sweet, in a sadistic sort of way. The rest of them are useless though, one of them is a cocaine addict who keeps accidentally killing the maids, the father of the family gets funnier and funnier as the night goes on and he goes even more off the rails, and Daniel's wife's name is Charity, which is easily the most ironic name in the film because she's a cold, selfish "gold digging whore."

It's weird to me that the film manages to balance the family and Grace's cat and mouse game so effectively, as you're almost as compelled by the family's hunt as you are by Grace, and all of the characters, as monstrous as they may be, are likable in their own ways, the Butler for example might as well be a Terminator, and the aunt's fanaticism about the game reaches comical levels several times. This film certainly has its comedy moments and can be really funny, darkly funny but still funny, but last year's Halloween should be taking notes here because while the film is funny, it's also nail-bitingly intense. There are several white-knuckle moments in Ready or Not, as Grace either skulks in the shadows or runs for her life from the family. There are two scenes in particular; one in a kitchen and one involving a nail, I won't say any more other than the one with the nail, yeah, that shit was great, you know it's coming and you'll be on the edge of your seat until it happens, at which point you'll have recoiled back into your seat in abject horror. And horror this indeed is, after watching it, I'm not surprised that my sister was IDed because this film is bloody, as I said before, the film doesn't shy away from showing the most brutal of shit, we're talking about point blank headshots, people having holes in them where they shouldn't, metal things going into places they shouldn't, that sounds dirty but I really want to be more specific because it's so cool, if graphic violence is your cup of tea. 

Ready or Not is, however, a very simply film to describe; it's a film about a satanic game of hide and seek between a likable, resourceful hot chick and a bunch of likable, useless twats, it has moments of gut busting hilarity and moments of arse puckering intensity, usually back to back, and it never stops being entertaining. But with the story this film tells, it is also a film that needs to nail the ending, if you'll pardon the pun. Ready or Not is great, but it's a film that could be utterly ruined by a shit ending, luckily, Ready or Not's ending is basically perfect in my opinion. It's such a satisfying, darkly hilarious ending, one that comes out of nowhere and had me grinning with glee. And it's something I will never spoil, putting it on the table now, I will never spoil the ending of Ready or Not for anyone, it's something that truly must be seen. There are people online trying to dig for deeper meanings in the film, which isn't surprising, I know I've done it with other films, but I don't think this film is trying to be that deep. I don't think commentary on wealth inequality was the idea here, the film takes shots at the rich for sure, but I don't think it's anything more than surface level, which is fine because it's not the kind of film that needs to be deep. There are more ponderous aspects to it but they're always related to character motivation, and commentary on class that is not. I also caught wind of a Variety article proclaiming that the dress is a "powerful tool of Feminism and murder," which is a slightly unsettling title if you ask me. Whether or not that was the intention is irrelevant as that really doesn't factor into the film, but as usual, politicisation is fun, just ask pretty much anyone who's talking about Joker. Again though, I just don't think this is that kind of movie.


I'll Give You a Ten Second Head Start
Ready or Not is another one of those films that I watched on a whim and ended up really enjoying; it's an effective, tight, straight forward little thriller that I could watch again and again. The film juggles its horror and comedy perfectly and grips you with its intriguing and likable cast of heroes and villains, and its a film that gets its hands dirty and enjoys doing it. It reminds me of Overlord in some ways, not in the sense that it's a film that I'd been anticipating for years, but in the sense that it's a film that delivers what its promising; it sells itself as a thrilling, violent, darkly funny game of hide and seek and that's exactly what it is. It's definitely not for everyone; it's not for the squeamish, but this film, like Overlord, just hits the spot for me, and it's definitely worth watching.