Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom movie review

Here's what you need to know; three years after the spectacular collapse of Jurassic World at the hands of the Indominus Rex, Isla Nublar's dormant volcano has woken up, and now threatens to wipe out the dinosaurs, again. Claire and a reluctant Owen decide to return to the island in the hopes of helping in the evacuation of the dinosaurs and their moving to a new home. But something seedy is going on behind the scenes, as the people heading the dino evac have plans of their own with the dinosaurs, plans that Claire and Owen become determined to stop.
This film released a few weeks ago, making it a trend in my recent movie reviews to do them a month after the film comes out, long after people stopped being interested and everything I could conceivably say has already been said. But I needed to do this one, because this one is important, in a sense. Jurassic World was the first film I ever properly reviewed on this blog, back when my blog was just a series of poorly written, poorly constructed messes that I never proof-read, still not proud of it, but I've obviously improved since then, thankfully. But not reviewing that first film's follow-up would be a bit dim of me, because that's just how I think, maybe it's autism, I don't know.

Fallen Kingdom's opening scene can best be described as creepy, with a minisub crew nervously entering the Mosasaur enclosure on a dark, stormy night. I really do love this opening scene however, it's like something out of a horror movie, as the flashes of lightning catch the silhouette of the Mosasaur looming over the tiny sub, and the Tyrannosaurus stalks ominously through the trees, slowly approaching her unsuspecting victim with each flash of lightning, it's creepy and tense, and it's a lot of fun. But what's actually a bit more interesting than that is how the film, at least in its first act, tackles the idea of dinosaur rights, and how it's become a major social and political debate in this world, this is genuinely interesting, and starkly reflective of our world, with Clair and her band of hippies wanting to save the dinosaurs, and Ian Malcom speaking on the dangers of de-extinction and genetic manipulation like he has always done. Getting straight to a negative however, an issue right out of the gate is that the trailers spoil the twist; granted, when you're watching the film, you know that Rafe Spall and Ted Levine are a pair of shady mother fuckers anyway, but if you'd seen the last couple of trailers, you'd know that regardless, and that isn't all the trailers spoil, but we'll get to that. Something that's a highlight as usual is Chris Pratt, who is once again playing Chris Pratt, I think at this point it's fair to say that he's typecast, but he's still cool as shit, and is even introduced building a log cabin on the edge of a lake, and is seduced not by Bryce Dallas Howard's good looks, but by the offer of beer, it doesn't get any more manly than that, well, maybe riding a bike through a jungle with a pack of raptors is more manly. The film made what I feel was a mistake however in splitting them up; the tension between the two of them worked for what it was in the first film, but there was no need to carry on that tension in the second one, but the film does for no real reason, especially when, by the end, they're together again, so what was the point. That being said, I still like Claire and Owen in the film, they're enjoyable enough characters, and Chris Pratt's just a cool guy, whatever he's in. The film starts to falter somewhat in its supporting characters however, Rafe Spall, Ted Levine and Toby Jones are obnoxiously obvious villains, all they're missing are moustaches and white cats, and the film replaces the annoying kid characters with annoying diversity quota fillers, ok, that's unfair, but they are annoying; Justice Smith in particular, the comic relief character who is scared of everything, put on an island where everyone and everything wants to kill him, let the comedy ensue, and by comedy, I mean really annoying screaming, constant whining, and an insatiable desire to watch him die in agony. Then there's Lockwood and his granddaughter. Lockwood's alright, he's just a decent old man, and his last scene in the film is cruel and unjust, and the granddaughter is also fine, for the most part, there's nothing blatantly wrong or annoying with the character, but she becomes a crucial plot point in a way that boggles my mind, and would probably have worked if it was better handled, but instead, we are given a reveal that makes the point it wants to make, but is absolutely absurd.

The film is also structured in a strange way; with a first act that is all on the island, where things are decent enough, the volcanic eruption is no Dante's Peak, but it's a fun little visual spectacle, and the dinosaur scenes are fun enough, most notably a scene with a Brachiosaurus that would have had the intended effect of being utterly heart-wrenching, were it not for a forced visual callback, one of many distracting little references that happen a stupid number of times, and take you out of the movie every time one happens, most notably that one, and one at the end of the film with the T Rex, who for no reason other than to wink at the audience, pulls the exact same pose that became an iconic image in the first Jurassic Park, it was forced and distracting. Nothing will compare however to Owen escaping the lava, which was absurd to watch, but undeniably really funny. But that's only the first act, with the second act being them on a boat, and then them in a mansion, discovering the sinister plans of the obvious villains. The film's pacing flatlines at about this point, with the big reveal of Spall's evil scheme being revealed to the audience in a painfully ham-fisted manner, even jumping the gun and prematurely revealing the Indoraptor, this film's smaller, apparently more dangerous Indominus Rex. Even worse than that though is how the film gives you this time to think because of this stretch of runtime that is, putting it bluntly, boring; it's as though the writers of this film forgot about The Lost World, that film where they brought a T Rex to the mainland, and it escaped and went on a killing spree through San Diego, so what could possibly go wrong with bringing back all the dinosaurs and them selling them to the world's most dangerous people. As a commentary on the hubris of man, you know, the point of Jurassic Park, it kind of works, but why would anyone even consider such a dreadful idea when it has failed horribly multiple times in the past. The film and its characters also ignore the little detail that in the Jurassic Park trilogy there were two islands; Isla Nublar and Isla Sorna, and that Isla Sorna is in the same island chain as Nublar and doesn't have an active volcano on it, so why the US government or whoever should oversee the evac doesn't just elect to put them all on a boat and then take them to Isla Sorna where they'd be safe is baffling, especially when the alternative is risking letting the most dangerous animals in existence, basically living WMDs, fall into the hands of the world's more dangerous criminals. On the plus side, this long stretch of boredom does has a pretty sweet scene with Owen and the gang trying to get a bullet out of Blue while elsewhere, the granddaughter watches archive footage of Owen and Blue when she was a baby, that's a pretty cool scene, though it is indicative of one of the film's anomalous elements, the fact that a lead character, who ends up falling in love with the lady lead, again, still has a more developed and compelling relationship with a raptor, and that's even considering how dumb it was in the first film.

But if we want to talk dumb, Owen being Blue's raptor daddy is the tip of the iceberg, and I wish I could go into spoilers, but I can't so I'll have to be vague. All of the stupid things that didn't work in the first film have returned, and have in fact been expanded upon. Creating a genetic superdino was a bad idea, so they did it again, weaponizing dinosaurs was a bad idea, so they did it again, and looking past the first film, going back to the island was a bad idea, so they did it again, bringing dinosaurs back to the mainland was a bad idea, so they did it again, are you noticing the pattern. As a commentary on the hubris of man, it starts to work a little too well, but it's deeper ideas are always only surface level, unlike the first Jurassic Park, or even other recent monster movies like Godzilla, and unlike Godzilla and Jurassic Park, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom contradicts itself. It shows us the dangers of weaponizing dinosaurs, but then has Owen and Blue fighting side by side, just like the first film, it then shows us the threat of de-extinction, but then is all about saving the dinosaurs, but then has a superdino trying to kill a little girl. The subplot about the dangers of genetic manipulation would have been interesting if it wasn't done badly, but it was, and that leads to a character making a decision at the end of the film that has the potential to literally doom humanity. The film further contradicts itself in that ending, with implications that are terrifying, but a tone that completely conflicts with those scary implications, like it's somehow a good thing that humanity is no longer at the top of the food chain. This does set up for a Jurassic World 3 obviously, and maybe it'll be cool, like a mix between Jurassic Park and Planet of the Apes, with a dash of Attack on Titan, or maybe it'll be a nonsensical mess, I guess we must wait and see. Going back to Positive notes, the film's third act does pick back up, and is essentially just the kitchen scene from the first Jurassic Park, but stretched out into an entire finale, with the heroes trying to escape the Indoraptor that's loose in the Lockwood mansion, and this sequence is actually a lot of fun, and has some surprisingly effective visual horror mixed in the tense chases and occasional scuffles, I particularly like the scene where the granddaughter hides in the her bedroom, it's a clever little scene that effectively preys on childhood fears and delusions of safety. And the Indoraptor itself is a cool monster, but in this sequence, that's all it is, a movie monster, a smaller, scarier version of the Indominus, but this sequence is easily the best part of the film, and the Indoraptor itself plays a big part in that.

Welcome to Jurassic World
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, like its predecessor, is a perfectly fine, entertaining at times, monster romp, with fun action and a cool monster, but Fallen Kingdom is a lot less consistent than its predecessor, which is really saying something. It doesn't learn from any of Jurassic World's mistakes, in fact, it doubles down on a lot of them. And while Jurassic World never really had a dull moment, Fallen Kingdom has an entire dull act, one that only leads to boredom and the audience asking questions that cause the film to come apart at the seams. It's replaced its old annoying characters with new ones, and its villains are cartoonishly diabolical. The film has a decent first act however, and its finale with the Indoraptor is admittedly very entertaining, but its ending is dumb, and paves the way for a sequel that could redeem it, or be a complete dumpster fire, only time will tell. Still, I will admit that the film has its moments, and is very acceptable popcorn fun on the big screen, so all things considered, it's not terrible, it's just okay, alright, worth a watch.