Here's what you need to know; Simba is next in line for the throne, the latest in a long and prosperous history of kings and the son of the Pride Lands' wise and noble ruler, Mufasa. However, in the shadows lurks an embittered challenger to Mufasa's throne, the manipulative and power-hungry Scar, who wishes to rule the Pride Lands for himself and will let nothing get in his way, not even the lives of the King and his son. But larger forces are at work here, and one Lion's greed will not change the destiny of a King or stop him from taking his place in the Circle of Life.
Well would you look at that, Disney remade The Lion King, what a surprise. Unlike Beauty and the Beast and The Jungle Book however, I actually did watch the original film as a kid, in fact like most people who watched it as kids, I've watched it hundreds of times and consider it one of the best films ever made, and if that sounds hyperbolic to you, you've clearly never seen The Lion King. And the night I got home from seeing this remake, I was in a really good mood, and the audience I saw this film with gave it a standing ovation, I shit you not, people were cheering and clapping, but I regret to inform you that these things are not related. I was happy because I bought the SH Monsterarts King of the Monsters Godzilla figure, the NECA Mothra figure, and a Godzilla 1954 tshirt that fits me despite being a size too small, as for why they were cheering, I have no idea because they clearly weren't watching the same film as me.
Call me a cynic, because I am, but something felt off about this film from the opening shot. The shot of the sun rising over the Pride Lands is an instantly memorable image in the original film, and compared to the same shot in the remake, it's dripping with more style and artistry than pretty much the entire runtime of the remake. I'm not exaggerating; the opening sequence of the remake is ripped straight from the original, almost shot for shot, only now rendered in photorealistic CGI rather than hand-drawn animation. And as I'm sure you've heard, the CG is nuts, and as a film for flexing visual effects, The Lion King is about as good as you'll ever see, it's top notch stuff. The issue with it is that the film is clearly trying to grab you with nostalgia by reusing the same music and imagery as the original film, and despite looking incredible, it just doesn't work. This issue becomes a lot easier to explain as the film progresses and we are introduced to the film's characters. Simba is still a likable kid; he's energetic and charming and endlessly optimistic, and from a character standpoint, nothing's changed, he's still going to have the joy and hope ripped from him by Scar before finding a new family and eventually embracing his destiny to rule the Pride Lands. Mufasa is largely the same too, albeit more reserved and mild. But in the transition to photorealism, these characters have lost something very important; their previous anthropomorphic qualities.
We humans are very emotive, we use our faces to express emotions, but in the real world, animals like lions lack that ability to effectively emote through their faces, which is why animals in cartoons are anthropomorphised; given human qualities to make them more expressive. In going for photorealism, the animals have lost that human quality, and it'll never matter how good the CG is at that point, not when we're supposed to feel Simba's fear and we can't because he's pulling the same blank face for the entire film. And this isn't just the lions, though they are the worst affected, Rafiki's personality is heavily restrained in this film, his eccentricities reduced to the point that he's unrecognisable, and Zazu just looks weird with his beak snapping open and closed with words coming out of it. Some characters fair better; Timon for example, being a naturally more expressive animal, and while the Hyenas are back on the less expressive end, their nasty little grins are very in line with their representation in the film as snarling bullies. But then there's Scar. The original film had one of the best villains in film history in Scar, a scheming, cowardly, charismatic villain played with flair by Jeremy Irons, and a massive part of what made that character so memorable was his personality and expression, but this Scar isn't even remotely as charismatic or flamboyant as in the original. Once again, the CG being impressive comes at a cost and this issue with the film's character design causes several problems for the storytelling.
The animals being less expressive puts more pressure on the actors to convey the characters' feelings through their voices, which would lead to even more problems if they did, but not all of them do. There's a lack of energy to this film's characters; a point best exemplified by Mufasa who, despite James Earl Jones returning for the role from the original, is missing the sincerity of the original character, when he's scared, he sounds less scared, angry, he sounds less angry, it sounds like a half-arsed job. Donald Glover voices Simba for the remake and he does a good job, as does a lot of the new cast, with the notable exception of Beyoncé as Nala, which is kind of tragic to listen to. But we have to go back to Scar, who is played by Chiwetel Ejiofor in this film, and to his credit, he's trying to do something different with Scar; playing him less charismatically and more threateningly, and when that's allowed to work, it works. But what does that mean, when it's allowed to, the issue of the animals being less expressive puts the burden for expressing tone and emotion on the music and the voice actors, the for the most part, the music is good, but I've got some shit to say about a few things regarding the music. But as for the voice acting; outside of Beyoncé being horribly cast and James Earl Jones sounding like he doesn't give a shit, the film's cast does a good job, I even managed to tolerate John Oliver as Zazu, but with all of the burden on the actors to show us what the characters are thinking, it creates a disconnect between the voice acting and the visuals.
There is no greater offender in this regard than the gorge. Everyone who watched The Lion King as kids will have that scene from the animation burned into their souls, and if for some reason you don't know what happens, I'm going to spoil it; Mufasa dies, Scar throws him into the stampede as Simba watches in horror. Except there is no horror in this scene anymore, that dolly zoom shot of Simba looking up at the stampede is gone, that close up of Mufasa's eyes as he realises what's happening is gone, that evil smirk on Scar's face as he leans in and whispers "long live the king" is gone, the terror on Simba's face as he sees his dad fall to his death is gone, this scene is fucking broken in the remake. If I wasn't already pretty sure I hated this film by Be Prepared, this scene cemented the idea in my head, I couldn't stand it. The gorge encapsulates everything wrong with the remake, because it's a visually stunning scene that's completely hollow, empty of dread, suspense or horror, and I can't see this scene traumatising kids like it did in the 90's because the film's visual style is not compatible with its story. So when Simba is crying and confused and scared, begging his dad to get up, you get that disconnect between the sorrow of the actor's voice and the blank face of a lion cub, and it ruins the moment with how distracting it is. For this remake to work, no scene was more important than this one and they fucked it up, they fucked it up so hard that not even nostalgia can save it.
That and the scene where Mufasa appears in the clouds and tells Simba to remember who he is. In the original, this scene leans hard into the supernatural and is all the better for it, giving Simba the kick in the teeth he needs to embrace his destiny, but when your film is supposed to look real, a giant lion in the sky might look a little silly, so they kind of left it out. Instead of Mufasa appearing the clouds, we have a thundercloud with the vaguest impression of a lion's face in it, which is a cool visual, don't get me wrong, but it's just not as haunting as the original, and its impact is once again diminished by the visuals. But while we're on the subject of things being diminished; Be Prepared, what the fuck was that. Up until that point, the music was good, while I Just Can't Wait To Be King was neutered by the visuals, the surreal imagery and vibrant colours gone, the song itself is actually good, and certainly holds up better than Can You Feel The Love Tonight, which in addition to being crap compared to the original, accompanies Simba and Nala falling in love in the daytime, so the song doesn't even make sense. One change I do like however, love, even, is Be Our Guest. In the original, Timon does the hula so distract the Hyenas in a scene that never stops being funny, and in the remake, I don't it'll stop being funny either. With dressing in drag and doing the hula out of the question, thanks again photorealism, Timon and Pumbaa's distraction now involves Timon singing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast, or at least starting to, and that is a genuinely funny new addition to the film.
And the scene where Timon and Pumbaa sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is also a really funny scene, let's just cut out the waffle and say that Timon and Pumbaa were one of the few things the film did justice to, they were great, and Seth Rogan as Pumbaa is bloody genius, I can honestly say I enjoyed that about the film. Do you know what I didn't enjoy, Be Prepared. Since I've never talked about The lion King before on this blog, I should probably tell you that of all the songs from The Lion King, my favourite one was Be Prepared, it always has been, I love the song, I love the visuals that accompany the song, I love the guy singing the song, and going into the remake, it was one of the things I was most dreading, and I was right to. All of the original song's energy is gone in the remake, as are the flashy visuals, which wouldn't be such an issue if the original Be Prepared wasn't one of the film's most visually engaging sequences, filled with caustic greens and hellish reds, atmospheric lighting, deep shadows and Scar at his most flamboyant, not to mention the army of goose stepping Hyenas. But all of that, literally all of it, is gone in the remake, instead Scar walks around in a dark, gloomy environment talking about the plan to kill Mufasa while a music track close enough to Be Prepared to be recognisable swells in the background. The song is completely neutered in the remake and I'm baffled as to why, why has I Just Can't Wait To Be King been brought back in its entirety, minus the visuals, but Be Prepared was reduced to this; Chiwetel Ejiofor talking the lyrics before awkwardly breaking out into something that's almost a song. I probably wouldn't care as much if Be Prepared wasn't my favourite song in The Lion King, but since it is, I found its execution in this film to be disappointing, to put it mildly.
I haven't said a lot of nice things about this film so far, and part of me thinks I'm being unfair to it, but I'm genuinely struggling to think of something that this film improves upon from the original. The film adds a new scene with Scar that I like, in fact it's one of my favourite scenes in the film, which is odd given that it's only there to pad the runtime. But this scene went into more detail about what kind of king Scar is and I found that very interesting, I kind of wish there was more of it. The film gives us a closer look at the fall of the Pride Lands and it actually makes the film better. But for every one good addition, there's a couple of bad ones, because the remake adds new music, which is kind of like putting pineapple on Pizza, it'll make some people happy, but everyone else will want to kill it with fire. I'm still struggling to think of nice things to say, but I'm not falling into this film's trap; The Lion King is banking on nostalgia to make you like it, it's got all the old songs, mostly, it's got all the timeless and beloved characters, except not really, and it's got the heart, except not even remotely. The film is hollow, it's trying its hardest to imitate the original and be as timeless and memorable as that film, but it will never be that, and in its effort to trick you into loving it as much as the original, it's only made this film stand out for the mediocre cash grab it is. The film's choice to go for photorealism makes it look real, yes, but it strips it of the personality and passion of the original, it limits the film's ability to tell its story, which completely breaks the film for me, and then we have to consider the simple truth that this film doesn't need to exist.
Now, if you're cynic like me, you might say no shit, but it's worse than it; the original is beloved for a reason, and it will not age or degrade because of how strong its visuals, music and storytelling are, but this film stumbles on all of those fronts, making more negative changes than positive ones, all while reminding you of the original constantly in the hope that you'll be fooled into loving it. I really should be saving this for the conclusion, but those girls sat behind us who stood up and cheered, who started a torrent of people standing up and cheering, whatever smoke and mirrors this film was pulling clearly worked on them, and maybe these are the same smoke and mirrors they've used in other live-action films like The Jungle Book, and I'm only wising up to it now because it's The Lion King, but either way, here we are, I'm bitching about yet another billion dollar Disney film this year because I didn't buy what it was selling. Incidentally, I'm watching the original film right now, while I write this, and I'm on the scene after the elephant graveyard where Mufasa and Simba have their talk. This scene is one of my favourite scenes in the film because of the image of Simba looking down at his dad's pawprint, in this image we have Simba in the shadow of his father, figuratively, ashamed that he'll never be as wise and noble as the king, only for Mufasa to drop a wisdom bomb on him and remind us all why we love him. But that image of Simba standing in his father's pawprint is on the poster for the film, it's in the trailer, and in both of those instances, its meaning is completely lost, which sums up the film really; mimicking the imagery of the original without understanding that imagery, a cheap imitation.
Ain't No Passing Craze
To say I hate this film would be an exaggeration, it's not unwatchable, but that's about as positive as I'm prepared to go. It's a film that's trying to show off some admittedly incredible visual effects, while also trying to cash in on nostalgia by retelling a timeless tale in a format with which it is simply not compatible. All the nostalgia and photorealistic CG in the world won't change the fact that this film is dull to look at, or that its visuals are distractingly disconnected from its voice acting, or that it neuters the personalities of several of its most memorable characters, or that it adds things that didn't need adding and cuts out things that really didn't need cutting out, all while sticking as close as it can to the original in the hopes that you'll not notice its lack of soul. In a way, this might actually be worse than something like Hellboy or Captain Marvel, because while those films were bad, The Lion King sits comfortably in the realm of meh, and you may even like it, but ask yourself, really ask yourself, do you like it because you like the original, and if you answer yes to that question, you might find this film's mask slipping. I would not recommend this film, if you want to see The Lion King, watch the original, it's a timeless masterpiece, whereas this film's about as timeless as a TV dinner, completely passable in the moment, but eventually flushed and forgotten like the crap that it is.
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