Bring on the Meteor V: The Sargoning

For those who haven't clicked in yet, the world is insane, the question we must ask sometimes however is just how insane is it really, and how much more insane can it get before we just start living in the world of Mad Max. In this insane world, we have witnessed yet another tragedy, one that must be addressed, but before we get to that, I thought it'll be nice to inject a bit of light heartedness into this ramble, before things inevitably get really depressing. So as the meteor hopefully screeches across the stars towards us, let's get all opinionated on some internet and real world events.

Item one is one that made me chuckle, since while reading a previous Bring on the Meteor not twenty minutes ago as of writing this, I found a not so subtle jab at Laci Green, a very prominent YouTube feminist who, it would seem, as gone rogue. Laci Green is an interesting case; over the years I've seen bits and bobs of her work, and to be honest, while she's never seemed as malicious or scheming as someone like Anita Sarkeesian,  I've found her feminism to be laughably stupid. But in a somewhat striking move, Laci put out a video titled 'TAKING THE RED PILL?' which was in all caps just like that, in which she talks about talking to anti-feminists, which, as she says in the video, confused a lot of people. What I love about this video is how seemingly self aware she is, talking about how her SJWness has been turned into a meme, which is surprisingly honest and self reflective. It's also very surprising how she claims not to be the ideologue people think she is, which, hey, if that's true, more power to you Laci, if you understand that the world isn't as straight forward and black and white as SJW's seem to think it is, that's fantastic. And I do agree with her when she talks about internet hostility, because it exists on both sides; you have the likes of Steve Shives, who we'll get back to soon, who hates literally everyone with a different opinion to him, he thinks they're scum, but on the other hand you do have nameless faceless shitlords on the opposing team, who think all feminists are insane misandrists and or pathetic cucks. Neither of these things are true, but on both sides you have rabid ideologues who just don't want to hear what other people have to say. Laci Green is evidently not one of those people in this video; instead she explains how people on her side have been saying she's talking to bigots and giving a platform to bullies, typical ideologue shit. What follows is a piece that baffles me, Laci Green seemingly specifically refers to Milo Yiannopoulos, only not by name, and then argues against censorship, being very level headed and honest about the nebulousness of hate speech and harmful speech and the immoral argument also being used by the religious right. And then making a point I completely agree with, that censorship doesn't address anything, it just, in her words, "Shuts the conversation down." Her 'red pilling' as she claims came from seeing the author of philosophy journal being cannibalised by their fellow feminists, as ever by attacking the author for their bigotries rather than actually refuting the paper, so business as usual in the feminist sphere, as Steve Shives and a few other YouTube feminists express when addressing this Laci Green red pilling. My favourite is of course Steve: "Scumbag misogynist rape apologists" wow that's a very venomous assertion from the Shives. You see, Laci and Steve are different, they're both feminists, they both believe the nonsense about women's inequality in the west, but Laci has seemingly seen how venomous and cannibalistic the community is, while Steve is the epitome of that venom, a shameless ideologue who genuinely believes that anyone on the other side is evil, no exceptions, no self reflection, they're all evil misogynist rape apologists, they're also probably racist, and homophobic, and transphobic, just because they're so evil and so not worth his time. If Laci Green really is prepared to leave the feminist sphere and let her ideas be challenged, then that's fantastic, and it might finally crack the feminist bubble that idiots like Steve are in, so pieces of shit like him might actually do a bit of reflection themselves, maybe not Steve, but if Laci can do it, anything's possible.

Speaking of YouTube and pieces of shit, this last week has seen a very entertaining clash of the titans; Thunderf00t vs Sargon of Akkad. First, let's get my thoughts on these two out of the way; Thunderf00t is someone I used to be very fond of, it was videos from him and others like The Amazing Atheist that first got me interested in the whole YouTube atheist and anti-feminist community, before I found other Youtubers I now like like TL;DR, Kraut and Tea, and of course, Sargon. It should go without saying then that I'm fond of Sargon; his This Week in Stupid videos and older feminist videos were some good laughs, and his newer, less comical content is still very informative and interesting. Both of these Youtubers have changed since I came to like them, with Thunderf00t steering away from feminism and religion and doing almost entirely science videos, and Sargon ditching the dumb feminists for juicier meat like politics and world events. Which gets me to where I started to lose some respect for Thunderf00t, Brexit. I reckon that, Thunderf00t/Dr. Phil Mason being a research scientist, he saw Brexit as a threat to science funding in the European Union, and fair enough, that I can understand as his opposition to Brexit, but that's not how he framed it. Instead he hints at the "inefficiencies" of the EU, either unaware or ignorant that they are the reason people wanted to leave in the first place; the whole open borders, unaccountable bureaucracy, stagnant economy thing, no what matters is how 'farcical' the British political system is, or how there's an Islamic problem already in the country, or how Britain's electorate are dumbarses, which is actually what he says, nine and a half minutes into the video, needless to say, that didn't sit well with me. Fast forward a year nearly and a feminist YouTuber named Russian Deadpool allegedly got off his face on drugs and murdered his girlfriend, which was the subject of an admittedly poor taste livestream that Thunderf00t took great issue with. And again, if he was honest about it, and simply said he didn't want to be associated with the people on the stream, that would be fine, but again, that's not how he framed it. Enter Sargon of Akkad, who was on the stream, and who wasn't a fan of Thunderf00t apparently cutting together two different points of the livestream to misrepresent him. Thing is you don't need to be a genius at editing to recognise a cut, and there undoubtedly is one, which does give credence to Sargon's misrepresentation claim. And I do think that stream was edited in a way to suggest they were laughing at the victim, poor taste or not, Thunderf00t did cut that stream together in a deliberate way, one that did misrepresent Sargon. What's particularly bad is how he compares them to the Westboro Baptist Church, which, Thunderf00t, is really fucked up, Sargon and his gang didn't go to the girl's funeral with signs saying 'God hates Fags,' they made some poor taste jokes at the expense of the killer, who, by your admission, was a jerk. Was it poor taste, yes, but was it at the expense of the dead girl, no, and was it to push a narrative, no. Your objection simply seems to be you didn't like the jokes, in an ironic twist, you seem to have adopted the SJW mentality that jokes are immoral, something you double down hard on in subsequent videos. Now that shit's not cool, but it's something that wouldn't have blown up in Thunderf00t's face if he had just kept his mouth shut. In his follow-up video, he admits to losing thousands of subscribers, a point I'll get back to later, but what he says next is stunning.

"I feel clean having done what I've done." I could go on for about half an hour about how fucking stupid that one sentence is, because it is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard him say. He feels clean? what does that even mean? clean, like morally clean, like you've been absolved of your sins or something? He said this in his first video, that he has seen movements being hijacked by ideologues in the past, but I'll be blunt, clean really isn't a word a skeptic would use, very uncharacteristic for this seasoned old atheist isn't it. Clean actually implies that you've lost your skepticism, and again, your objection appears to be I don't like the jokes, which is fine, but that doesn't make Sargon a piece of shit, like you try to make out he is. It's here that we also get to the first blatant lie; Sargon and the others were 'spinning a narrative' that the killing was because of feminism, and that male feminists are messed up. First up Phil, do you remember a chap called Hannibalthevictor, because I do, I remember those videos you did, and I also remember him being a sex offender. Sargon and the others joked that male feminists often have issues, something even you addressed when talking about Hannibal, you even said it yourself, although I think you used a more elegant word like maladjusted or something like that. Yet after you said that exact thing, you're going after Sargon for making the same observation, that's bullshit. What else is bullshit is that you claim they were trying to pin it on Feminism, something refuted by Sargon in very clear terms in his response to you, like you say, this was a guy having a psychotic episode and killing someone, the reason feminism was brought up is the irony of a male feminist murdering a woman, because yes Thunderf00t that is ironic as shit. And here you are a complete fucking hypocrite Thunderf00t, because you tired to pin the murder of Jo Cox on Brexit, you directly tried to associate her death with the referendum, conflating it with the media lying about Islamic terrorism, go fuck yourself Thunderf00t. What else is rich, besides you going full SJW, and full hypocrite, and a male feminist killing a woman, is you saying Sargon is making accusations about you, Sargon has every right to do that, you lied about him, you tried to make him look bad, and when your bollocks was exposed, you stood fast, doubling down on the bollocks and making yourself look like a fool. And I know you lied because in another video you uploaded while I was writing this, you show yourself cutting the stream together, and you cut together the joke about a triggered feminist, which was at the start of the stream, and Louis Le Vau joking about praising the shooter, which was fifty two minutes into the stream, that's a huge gap, and that cut does make it sound like they were laughing at the victim, which is the narrative you are trying the spin, the narrative that's total bollocks, there's no denying it at this point, you're lying. And you again prove that you're lying, when you say you didn't pay any attention to how you edited it, an innocent mistake then, that's been pointed out to you now, so you can fix it, so why don't you fix it, no instead you cut in Sargon waffling about ethics to make him look like he's full of shit, when we all know now who's full of shit.

Going back to an old point, Thunderf00t's lost a ton of subscribers over this fiasco, and he's apparently cool with that, to which I have only one thing to say, bullshit. Let's cast our minds back to FreeThoughtBlogs, if anyone remembers those clowns, and the time they conducted an organised campaign to destroy Thunderf00t, a campaign that didn't even dent his subscriber count. Now we have him stirring shit with another popular YouTuber, and his subscriber count took a massive beating. I am having a very hard time believing that Thunderf00t is cool with losing thousands of subscribers, even harder when he says the word clean, which in this context can be interpreted in two ways. Way one, all those subscribers were pieces of shit anyway, just tribalistic Sargon fanboys, so he's clean now they've been purged, we already know Thunderf00t is a liar, and all that would show is contempt for his subscribers, in which case, fuck him. Way two, his ego has taken a huge pummelling from this exodus of subscribers, and in an effort to salvage at least some of that crushed ego, him being moral and high and mighty, 'clean' is at least better than being in with Sargon and his shitty friends, which would completely destroy any illusion there is left of this cold, empirical, scientific mind that Thunderf00t apparently is. It's the same shit he pulled with Brexit, it's the same shit he originally pulled with the whole Russian Deadpool thing, it's an entirely emotional argument, and it's totally disingenuous. Thunderf00t has contempt for his subscribers, I say this because he calls this exodus of subscribers tribalism, going back to FreeThoughtBlogs, when they tried to destroy him, and only a few hundred people jumped ship, that apparently wasn't tribalism, that was the remaining audience knowing bullshit when they see it, which Thunderf00t evidently trusted they would. That audience still knows bullshit when they see it, but this time it's coming from Thunderf00t himself, and rather than trying to win that lost trust back, he's just dismissed them, at this point Thunderf00t your remaining audience are the tribal ones, since they saw your lie and either bought it or didn't care, maybe to them you being a disingenuous fuck is less important than you making good science videos, and that's fine, I and evidently a few thousand others have lost that respect for you, and if you're cool with that, fine, I'm unsubscribing, and I'll feel 'clean' doing it. Ultimately Thunderf00t, people once had a lot of respect for you; a man who knows his shit, does interesting science videos, and used to do good debunking videos of religion and feminism, but you taking an entirely emotional and disingenuous approach to that livestream, your blatant lying, and your contempt for your own audience, busts you better than you ever busted Anita Sarkeesian or nonsense science. But if all of your bullshitery makes you feel better, I'm happy for you, I hope you continue producing interesting scientific content, which is what you're good at,  and I hope your ship doesn't sink like FreeThoughtBlogs did, but I won't be onboard, and according to Social Blade neither will about fifteen thousand others, fucking hell.

And that just leaves the most joyous and happy story we have on the table today, another Islamic terror attack, this one striking quite literally close to home, only about an hour's drive away in Manchester. On the 22nd of May 2017, during an Ariana Grande show at the Manchester Arena, twenty two year old Salman Abedi detonated a suicide bomb, killing himself and twenty two others, and wounding over a hundred more, making this the worst terror attack in Britain in over a decade. This attack has, like all of the recent blitz of attacks across Europe, sent shockwaves though the population, with people expressing horror and sadness that it could happen, and we've seen the usual response, again, people sending their prayers and love over social media, putting filters over their Facebook pictures, the media and politicians stating that we will be 'defiant' and that we will not let the terrorists win, and then you have the most shameless of society saying we cannot let this encourage Islamophobia, because that's the real problem. Well I'm going to say it, we've let the Terrorists win, nothing will change because of this attack, just as nothing changed with Westminster just two months ago, or with Brussels, or Paris, or Charlie Hebdo, or Nice, or Berlin, or Orlando. With all of these attacks, the response has been the same, people virtue signalling on social media, the media pussyfooting around the real problem, and politicians making the same pointless statements, that these attacks are barbaric, and that we will not let it scare us. Even worse is what you see with people trying to make it sound like Muslims are the real victims and that we should be tolerant and find strength in our diversity. The more people say that, the more I hate it, because it's not just bullshit, it's dangerous bullshit, the migrant wave across Europe brought with it an explosion in violent crime, and a hideous spree of murders and attacks, killing hundreds of innocent people in the name of Allah. You can probably guess where I think the problem lies, and I think people should say what they see, but they can't do that; they can't say that all these terrorists being Muslims is a bit too coincidental, or the equally interesting coincidence of a crime wave coinciding with a sizable influx of 'refugees' into Europe, because that might be racist, that might be intolerant. As if a religion and a race are just interchangeable, as if Islam is actually a race, and thus we should not be bigots and tolerate them, funny how racist that actually sounds, like all Muslims are brown, yeah, not racist.

My question is why the fuck should we be tolerant? The problem with the not all argument that is usually the defence is that Islam is an ideology; some people who follow it are good people, of course, but then there are some that blow themselves up for Allah. The weakness of the not all argument is there's nothing stopping it from being applied to any and all ideologies; not all Nazis, not all Communists, not all Ku Klux Klanners, if that's not fair, why is it fair to say not all about an ideology that is every bit as bad as any of them. Islam has a serious problem with tolerance, it's probably the most homophobic belief system in existence, it actively subjugates and oppresses women, and it sees people who do not follow the faith as infidels. And if that's not bad enough, its holy book tells people that if they kill themselves and take out a few non believers in the process, they'll go to paradise and be rewarded by god. A religion however is just a religion, it can't hurt people on its own, but that's where the people come in; the people who practice and enforce Sharia Law, the people who load up with guns or strap bombs to themselves for Allah. This is a problem that might be diffusible if people could be honest, if people could talk openly about the doctrines of Islam and criticise them fairly, but that can't happen because of political correctness, because of the sickening wedding of religion and race that is Islamophobia. As a result you have not only a vile ideology that goes unchallenged, but a group of adherents that can effectively do what they want, unchallenged, which is exactly what we saw in the child sex rings in Rotherham and other parts of the country, that were left in operation by a spineless and complicit police force. People are afraid to criticise Islam both because of the peer pressure of political correctness, and because of the serious threat posed by Islamists, who would gladly go in and kill you and your co workers for simply drawing a picture. But we are told that these are radicals, extremists, that they do not represent Muslims or Islam, Muslims I can understand, but Islam, bollocks. Muslims are people, each one is an individual who can think and act for themselves, and as a result not all of them decide to follow the will of Allah to its greatest extremes. And when Muslims live in or around a majority non Muslim area, and get to mingle with non Muslims, that further reduces the number of them who want to become martyrs. But we don't see that in Britain and Europe, we see insular, self segregated majority Muslim areas, places where they don't mingle, but instead marinade in their backwards beliefs, constantly surrounded by like minded people, who all think the west is evil, these are the numerous No-Go zones scattered all across Europe.

Sam Harris once said the problem isn't religious fundamentalism, it's the fundamentals of religion; a religious extremist is only as dangerous as the extremes of their religion, and Islam has some ugly extremes. I don't see how the argument can be made that these extremists are not following the faith right, if anything an extremist should be the single greatest example of the faith; a person who holds the faith to be more valuable than anything in the world, and follows it's teachings vociferously. The idea that Islam is a peaceful religion is simply a lie, but it's a lie that's taken hold, and now we just have to accept that all these Islamic terrorists are just not Islaming right, well no we don't. The Terror attacks in the short term will be tricky to stop, since measures will have to be taken that violates some of our principals in the west; things like surveillance of suspicious individuals of Mosques, ending the self segregation of Islamic communities, and intense security checks on Muslims trying to enter our countries. As horrible as all of that sounds, is being tolerant of Islam really more important than civilian lives? But instead of actually trying to handle the problem, politicians are being as scheming as ever, using it to justify mass surveillance of the population, and control of the spread of information, Orwellian concepts motivated purely by self interest and hunger for power. In the short term the target will unfortunately be Muslims, but in the Long term the target must be Islam itself, Islam is an ideology no different to National Socialism or Christianity of Feminism, and like all of those, it must be mutilated; its ideals must be challenged, its beliefs criticised and mocked into oblivion, something currently stifled by the social pressure of not being racist, and the watchful eye of Orwellian powers. The actions of those who follow Islam's ideals must be criticised; the treatment of women and gays, the cultish religious traditions, and the propensity for violence. Islam in its current form is dangerous, but so was other ideologies like National Socialism, and now they're a joke, people are too busy laughing at them to take them or their bad ideas seriously, and the same needs to happen to the so called Religion of Peace. Maybe then when we say they don't scare us they'll actually take us seriously, and maybe then the cries of Islamophobia will die, and with its teeth gone, maybe then the barbaric killing motivated by the Religion of Peace will stop.

Well, that got long, I was actually only expecting to do three paragraphs, but like the Tony Blair Brexit speech I cut from the last Bring on the Meteor, I just had too many thoughts to put in three paragraphs. And I should stress, probably this time more than usual, that these are my thoughts; if you agree, cool, if you disagree, also cool, I don't think people having opinions is a problem, though me being very opinionated, I suspect a bit of bias. I just want to express my opinion, which is what Bring on the Meteor is, in fact it's what this entire blog is. And in a world that's completely insane, where to some people, expressing an opinion makes you a bad person or dangerous, the more people who express what they really think, the better, and the more people who are not scared of saying what they see, who can stand up to buzzwords and bullshitery, the better. That means all ideas will be completely open to criticism, which might suck for some people who have shitty opinions, and I don't exempt myself from that, but only then can the good ideas rise through the shit, and can the bad ideas be cast into obscurity and insignificance where they belong. In the case of Thunderf00t that even includes edgy jokes, in the case of Islam, that includes criticism and mockery, but the freedom to say what you want to say is more valuable than anyone's feelings, and so is innocent lives.

Alien: Covenant movie review

Here's what you need to know; when disaster strikes, the crew of the colonisation ship Covenant are forced out of hyper sleep to run repairs, when suddenly a mysterious transmission points them in the direction of a nearby planet that might be habitable. Opting to investigate the planet, things seem very promising at first, but soon things become more dangerous when monstrous creatures emerge from the shadows, and they start to learn that something terrible happened on this planet, and that the path to paradise begins in hell.
Something about this film prevented me from reviewing it last week, perhaps my mindset that, like Prometheus before it, Alien: Covenant was the kind of film that needed some serious marinating before I expressed my thoughts on it. I've since watched the film a few more times, and I think my thoughts are fully in order at this point, so let's get messy with Alien: Covenant.

Something that makes me smile every time, and something I want to bring up first is the titles in this film; just like Alien and Prometheus the letters slowly fade in, and they even brought back the music from the original Alien, which was so awesome to hear, and even better, unlike the CGI DNA from Prometheus, Alien: Covenant keeps it ominous, with the Covenant drifting silently through space. Alien: Covenant definitely doesn't come across as Alien in its prologue, with a new born David interacting with a much less old looking Wayland, it's all very Prometheusy. It's actually a really interesting prologue, as David ponders his new existence, and the first hints of his more sinister side start to appear, it's cool to see David's pseudo-humanity expanded on in this way, as well as his almost sociopathic level of curiosity, which is definitely something you see in Alien: Covenant. It certainly does a better job of setting up things than our introduction to the crew of the Covenant, who get woken up from hyper sleep in the middle of a stellar storm. The first thing we see of our Ripley lite; Daniels, is her mourning the loss of a loved one, which is serviceable in setting her up emotionally, but does very little to actually flesh her out as a character. As the film goes on Daniels does a very good job of being Ripley lite, and by the end of the film, she is a decently enjoyable character to watch. A problem they haven't fixed from Prometheus is the characters; just like Prometheus, you have a serviceable lead, and a cool ship pilot, this time his name is Tennessee, and you have a robot, whose name is Walter this time, Oram isn't a terribly likable character at first, and he does nothing to win you back in the film, and then you have some expendables. Covenant does at least give you a bit more reason to care about these people, with them all being married couples, giving each individual death a bit more weight, but I'll be honest, I still don't remember the names of about two thirds of the crew. Walter is actually one of the film's most interesting elements, being the same model of robot as David, who's also in this film, and it's really cool to see the two interacting, seeing the more human David exposing the more mechanical Walter to philosophical ideas about humanity and life. That means David is back from Prometheus, and his character is still very interesting to watch, even if the more ambiguous elements of him that were played with in Prometheus are replaced by a simpler, more directly villainous dynamic here. I keep comparing this to Prometheus, but honestly, while some describe this film as basically Prometheus 2, I disagree; I think it's more Prometheus 3, since it feels like an entire film's worth of events were completely missed. A lot of the questions from Prometheus are not answered, not philosophical questions, obvious ones, like the ultimate fate of Shaw, or why the Engineers hated humans, or what motivated David to do what he did. I suppose this is just par for the course with these Ridley Scott Alien films now, but it does bother me that we never get a true resolution to the events of Prometheus. That being said, it's still a fun little sci fi adventure; the mysteries surrounding this planet do a good job of sucking you in, and when shit gets ugly, and the weird creatures start showing up, it's a pretty fun, if basic sci fi horror film, and when the Alien itself finally shows up, about an hour and a half into the film, it's pretty cool to see. And even if you can see the big twist at the end coming from a mile away, it's still an interesting twist that makes me curious as to what happens next.

One thing that is completely nailed by Alien: Covenant is the visuals, which are amazing. The film's various sets are massive and great to look at, having the same functionality and retro sci fi look as Prometheus and Alien. And the more scenic outdoor environments are superb, again blurring the line between CG and real, and like LV-223 this planet is suitably creepy and foreboding, even more so, with the tranquillity of the forests, and the complete absence of life, you just get the sense that something about this apparently perfect planet is very wrong. The film also sounds great, with some stellar music, with some stuff returning from both Alien and Prometheus, both being great to hear. But there is one problem I have with the look of the film, and that, weirdly, is the Aliens. The weird not Aliens would be scarier if they were shown less; for example there's the potential for a great scene with these things in a field, but it's ultimately wasted. These things are shown so liberally, and they're so obviously CG, that it just doesn't work, what works is seeing it standing straight like a man, that's a scary image, not it hopping and throwing itself around like some CG demon monkey, you rarely get a really good look at them, but not because of clever direction and an eye for mystery, but simply because they're animated so fast, it's stupid. When the Alien finally shows up, it has the same problems, the Alien is shown so much, sometimes even outside and in the daylight, and it too hops around like a CG demon monkey. Again there's a scene that looked like it was going somewhere really cool, with the Alien obscured behind machinery, and clearly walking upright like a man, but with the Alien practically always in full view, and with them always knowing where it is, all the paranoia and mystery of Alien is completely lost. The film continues to forget what made the old Alien so scary, now giving the Aliens a backstory which, in isolation, I would understand, but in the context of the original Alien, it makes no sense, and again detracts from the fear factor and mystery of the old Alien. That's not even the biggest sacrilege of the original Alien in this film, that goes to a scene I can't spoil, but it's such an absurd scene, and it's a complete mockery of one of the best scenes from the original Alien, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Alien: Covenant still has enjoyment in its very Prometheusy first two acts, and when the third act kicks in, and it essentially becomes a drastically shortened retelling of the original Alien, that's still decently enjoyable, even if it completely forgets what made the original Alien so scary. But I do think that it's a less coherent film than Prometheus, and the more I think about the portrayal of the Alien in this film, the more holes I find in it. I do really like David in this film, what he offers to the mystery and his mindset towards the universe and particularly towards humans is fascinating, as are his interactions with Walter, and that adds a lot to the film, even when the uninteresting crew start dying and the evil scheme with the Aliens is revealed.

Alien: Covenant is a very flawed movie, from a production standpoint the film mostly excels, with great imagery and visuals, and Ridley Scott's usual excellent directing. But I don't like this film's portrayal of the Alien, nor am I particularly fond of the cast of characters, which are mostly hollow and forgettable, with a handful of serviceable central characters and the glorious return of David. I did however enjoy Alien: Covenant for the most part, even if I don't see it as the amazing return of Alien to the big screen that I did admittedly want it to be, and for its strong points, I can say it's a decent sci fi horror film that's worth watching.

Godzilla (2014) redux review

Rather morbidly, despite absolutely loving Rogue One, I really enjoyed taking that film apart in my redux review, and so I wanted to go back to another film I loved, and dissect it. And as it just so happens, it was three years ago today that I went to the IMAX to watch my favourite film of 2014, so what the hell, let's tear Godzilla to pieces. Unlike my Rogue One redux, I won't be trying to hold back the spoilers, so if you haven't seen Godzilla, good lord go correct that now, and with that out of the way, the plot summary:
Here's what you need to know; Joe Brody has long suspected that the cause of the nuclear disaster that killed his wife was covered up, but when he and his son Ford return to the site in search of answers, they learn the terrifying truth. Something huge is about to be revealed, as forces far older and more powerful than they could possibly imagine emerge from the depths of the Earth, forces humanity is powerless to stop.

Godzilla makes a difference in it's opening titles; as the nuke tears up the islands, and the screen is blasted white, the title fades in slowly, particles fall from the top of screen, as if to invoke the idea of ash or debris, and the distant, echoed sound of screaming people can be heard, this few seconds says so much about the film, the invoking of ash or debris is to invoke images of natural disasters; Volcanoes, Earthquakes, which is aided by the people screaming, conveyed a sense of terror and tragedy that would come from such a disaster. It's an incredibly subtle touch, but it's one I noticed even back in the IMAX, and it does a fantastic job of setting up the film's tone. Plus, that intro reel with the archive footage and the fucking awesome music was great, and sets up the Monarch story line in the film, showing Godzilla being nuked in 1954. It's then that we get the first of a few homages to other films, this time it's Jurassic Park, as a helicopter flies over a dense jungle, only accompanied by ominous and unsettling music. It's at this point that we are introduced to one of the film's major themes, and it's something that can be easily missed; the detail that the miners dug up the MUTO's thinking they'd found Uranium. In a broader sense, it was Man that woke up the MUTO's, two of the film's major themes are the Arrogance of Man and the Insignificance of Man, Man waking up the MUTO's is down to his Arrogance, the miners disturbing their spores caused the male MUTO to wake up and start burrowing for Janjira, otherwise it's safe to believe that they'd have stayed dormant. The Insignificance is also something that can be observed here, as they walk through the cave among the enormous bones, bones that belonged to a creature that no doubt completely dwarfed humans, but that's something we'll get back to. Joe Brody serves to give the events of the film emotional weight, as the Janjira plant is destroyed, and he is forced to seal the door, before saying a crushing goodbye to his doomed wife. This is a heavy scene, you can't help but feel that immense sadness as Joe sees his wife on the other side of the door, she's two feet from him, but he's completely powerless to save her, and the film excellently conveys that hopelessness. When you next see Joe, he lives alone in an apartment littered with books and newspapers, the walls are covered in newspaper clippings and posters on scientific subjects like echolocation, the only thing missing it red string to tie it all together. Over the years Joe has clearly let his grief and guilt drive him insane, but at the same time his situation is entirely understandable, as if he wants to find any reason his wife is dead that doesn't fall down to him. What makes Joe such a great character is that motivation, he's a crazy truth seeker, but at the heart of his crusade is a simple desire to understand why his wife is dead, while the only other thing he has in his life, his son, now has his own family, and doesn't want to drag them into his crazy conspiracies. These are two characters that handled an incredible loss in two different, but entirely understandable ways, one trying to forget it and leave that pain behind, while the other has let that pain consume him and drive him insane. At the heart of Godzilla is that personal story, one that starts with Joe's wife dying, and ends with Ford being reunited with his wife, through this personal drama we are shown an apocalyptic scenario, and that emotional anchor adds a huge amount of realism to that apocalyptic scenario.

As Serizawa summarises in the film's best line, this film represents a conflict between Man and Nature, and that becomes very evident in the Janjira quarantine zone. The city is eerie, devoid of humans, and slowly being retaken by the land, overgrown with plants, and inhabited only with animals like wolves, a subtle signifier that Nature is going to win in this battle with Man. Meanwhile in the plant Man continues to meddle with Nature, studying the MUTO as it grows, inadvertently letting it become a threat to humanity's existence, because of not just scientific curiosity, but arrogance, a belief that the situation was under control, when it so massively wasn't. And when we get our first really good look of the MUTO, that arrogance and our actual insignificance is perfectly encapsulated, as Ford looks up in amazement at the massive creature climbing up out of the pit, and its true size is revealed. The film has several of these shots, with humans in the foreground, and the Kaiju in the background, to show the audience how small they are. It takes a good half an hour before the film even gets to something that can be considered a flaw, and that is the moment Joe dies. I said in my review of the film that his departure causes the film to lose a lot of its emotional weight, with every scene he's in before that serving to make us attached to this character, only do just have him die. On a lot of reflection however, it actually makes sense, a lot of film follows the idea that Man is insignificant, that larger forces are at play in the world, and that we are relatively unimportant. Joe's death fits right into that theme, as human life is so fragile, Nature can take away lives with ease, and Man cannot stop that, Man cannot stop a Hurricane or Earthquake, Ford cannot stop Nature from taking his father from him, and Joe being a character we have become attached to, it's almost like a reality check, that in the real world people we love can and will die, and that that's beyond our control. So while on the surface Joe's premature death is disappointing for the audience, on a deeper level, it serves this film's themes excellently. Let's jump ahead to Hawaii, and check out a visual metaphor, a close up of a lizard, with Soldiers in the background not paying it any attention, it's a clever reversal, as now we see a creature that is tiny and insignificant to us, just as we are tiny and insignificant to the Kaiju. It's in Hawaii that I have my only flaw with the film; and like the Joe Brody death, I understand what it means, but I have a much harder time justifying it. Keep in mind that when a disaster happens like an Earthquake, you never see the disaster itself, usually only the aftermath on the news, much like you only see the aftermath of the Honolulu fight, destroyed buildings, displaced people, and news coverage showing glimpses of the fight itself. It's realistic that we don't see the destruction as it happens, but even I will admit it always disappoints me to see the build up, the MUTO causing chaos at the airport, and seeing Godzilla coming, the spines, the tail, the immense size. The shot in the terminal as the explosion rips through the airport is immaculate, as you see the MUTO, the fireball tearing up the airport, as people in the terminal stare in panic and terror, screaming, before a foot comes down, and the thud from that foot silences every other noise. The panning reveal of Godzilla is so awesome, I tear up every time, the film gets you so excited to finally see Godzilla throwing down, and then it cuts away. Even I'll admit that that was bullshit, the film deliberately leading you to expect a brawl, then taking it away and not giving you anything. In fact I think the film would have benefited from actually having at least a bit more there, maybe a taste of what the fight is like, to really get people excited for the finale, a free sample to get them really worked up, props to the film for being brave enough to not give us a thing, but it was disappointing.

Now let's jump ahead to one of my favourite scenes in the film, one I brought up in my review of the film, the Golden Gate Bridge scene. The scene starts out somewhat foreboding, with the bridge partially obscured by rain and cloud, and everything appears fine, with the police aiding people along the bridge, and the kids on the bus getting all excited by the military presence on the bridge, but like the foot in the airport, everything comes to a stop with a single noise, a distant roar. Godzilla's spines emerge from the fog, ploughing towards the warships under the bridge, but they stop before impact. Godzilla's spines already look big in this scene, but then it's quite excellently revealed that that's just his tail, as the much larger spines on his back start lifting the Warships out of the war, like they're toys. In the panic, several ships fire their missiles, that go off course and hit the bridge, but before the bridge takes more fire, Godzilla rises, blocking the stray missiles, and casting a literal and metaphorical shadow over the people on the bridge with his sheer size. When I think of the Lovecraftian horror of Godzilla I always think of this scene, because there is no better example in the film. Godzilla may be simply an animal, but to us, to Man, he might as well be a God, a creature that casts humanity into complete insignificance with his very existence, when Godzilla attacks the Golden Gate Bridge, it's just one great shot, after another, after another, as the people on the bridge, and by extension the audience, bears witness to the enormity of the monster. The camera is always kept at ground level, and Edwards uses extreme low angles, and deliberately keeps Godzilla's entire form out of the shot, to impose a sense of scale upon the audience, and to enforce that Lovecraftian terror in them. The children are screaming as Godzilla destroys the bridge, put yourself in that position, a few dozen people at least were just killed by a creature so impossible and monstrous, how scared out of your mind would you be. How oppressive would the feeling of insignificance be as you looked up at this God, it would be enough to drive you mad. Also notice how ineffective the bridge is at stopping his progress, in the battle of Man and Nature, the bridge and Godzilla, Godzilla, and Nature, wins. Like a Hurricane, Man's creations are not safe from Nature's forces. As the scene goes on, and fighter jets start falling from the sky, Nature's assertion of dominance over Man is only made more pressing. So far Man has done nothing constructive; he's inadvertently woken up a MUTO, he's failed to contain the MUTO, and all his military might has failed to stop the MUTO, but why stop there, why not break out the nukes. On the surface it's a predicted response to the situation that you know is going to fail, but once again, there's more going on beneath the surface. Riding the line of Man vs Nature again, it's that a nuclear response is entirely predicted that is the problem, Man can't just let Nature do its thing and sort itself out, he wants to believe that he has power over the situation, because he is arrogant, and he thinks that he can assert that dominance he thinks he has using his most powerful weapon, only so far all he has done is fuck things up, and that trend will continue. Now rather than the Nuke a safe distance away from the city, it's buried right in the middle of the city, where it can kill thousands of civilians, with no guarantee that it will even bother the Monsters.

The best line in the film is said by Serizawa, and it isn't "Let Them Fight," like everyone say it is, it's what he says immediately before that, "The arrogance of Man is thinking Nature is in our control, and not the other way around." The core of this film's themes is perfectly summarised in that line, Humanity thinks it's top dog, when we, like all other things, are at the mercy of Nature, not the other way around, guns, tanks and bombs are useless against a Hurricane, or an Earthquake, or any other force of Nature, which is what Godzilla and the MUTO's are in this film. All those burning tanks and Helicopters floating down the river were useless against the MUTO, and all that Nuke has done is make the situation worse, now putting a few thousand more lives at risk, and aiding the MUTO's in their plans to reproduce. Then there's the infamous HALO jump scene; Where the highlight we are treated to is hellish and ominous imagery, unsettling and intense music, and a fantastic point of view shot of the Monsters. What I actually like more than that scene however is the Godzilla reveal we are treated to in the final act, so let's set the scene. The music calms, the camera slowly pans upwards, a tails moves slowly through the fog, as the music remains slow and minimal, a flash of lightning reveals the silhouette of Godzilla, the effect of the fog and lightning is to capitalise on the other worldliness of Godzilla, a cosmically horrifying creature. His face emerges from the smoke, and he roars; I'm sure I've said how much that roar scared me in the IMAX, and I reckon that was the point. The music stops, and the film explodes with the sound of his roar, an intensely loud, prolonged roar, right at the audience's' faces, one that instils an intense sense of panic, an immediate, metaphorical reality bomb for the audience, Man cannot compete with God, in fact Man really should just get out of way, because it's about to go down. What follows is an excellent fight between Godzilla and the MUTO's, one the whole film has been building towards, and that we finally get to see. Far from flashy and fast, the fight is slow, simple physics from how massive the monsters are, and it actually gives the fight a sense of beauty, as the hits are slow to build, but carry an effective impact. This isn't Pacific Rim, the fighting is not intelligent, it's animalistic, raw, it's swiping of claws and thudding of insectoid limbs, nor is the fighting flashy, again, the impacts or slow, but heavy, and the destruction is believable. Like the Lovecraftian horror and the Golden Gate, this fight has one fantastic example of why it works, and it's also my second favourite moment in the film, behind the Godzilla airport reveal; as the MUTO closes in for the kill on Ford, his face is illuminated by a blue glow. Just imagine me watching that for the first time, and completely losing my mind. The music starts to build as the glow, still dim and ominous, moves through the darkness, along his tail, up his back, a flash of lightning shows Godzilla revving up the attack, the music builds to its climax, and Godzilla irradiates the shit out of the MUTO's face. The build is perfect, and the payoff is immensely satisfying, as the MUTO is literally flawed by it, and the soldiers on the ground stare up in amazement, and one correctly uses the phrase 'holy shit', which is probably what I said in the IMAX, if I said anything at all, and wasn't completely giddy from the pure awesomeness of the Atomic Breath. I actually prefer that use of the Atomic Breath to the admittedly stupidly badass kill at the end, when Godzilla rips the MUTO's mouth open and breathes fire down the her neck, not going to lie, that looked painful, and it was a badass kill.

This is an area I know people will have different opinions on, but I thought Godzilla's ending was perfect. With the exception of the Nuke, which somehow made it far enough away to not level the rest of the city, I mean, for that the boat it was on would have to be going about sixty knots, not very likely is it. Ignoring that very sizable hole, Godzilla's ending is perfect. Keeping in mind how relentlessly the film has enforced the notion that Nature is the one in control, and that Man is ultimately unimportant, it's brilliantly ironic that in the film's final moments, as Godzilla returns to the sea, the people of San Francisco cheer for him and call him a hero. Despite the events of the film; the destruction of several major cities, the loss of probably thousands of lives, and property damage in the billions of dollars, Godzilla is still a hero, he saved us, or at least that's how we interpret it, because ironically, we are still too arrogant to get it, Nature doesn't care about the plights of Man. In that arrogance is the film's greatest tragedy, we simply cannot see the world as it really is, we assign so much meaning to ourselves and our lives, and even a God destroying a few cities is too hard for us to understand, instead this God saved us, rather than just acting on its instincts, and inadvertently kind of helping us out in the process. That in a way makes this ending somewhat bittersweet, as Man has not learned from this cosmic reality check, and the mistakes that led to this disaster will inevitably be repeated. But the world has forever been changed by this event, now it knows the truth about monsters, and must learn to accept that reality, even if it doesn't learn from the mistakes that woke him up in the first place. It's in that arrogance that you also find hope, the natural order has been restored, not my Man, but by Godzilla, a force that arose, not to hunt his prey, but to save us from monsters, and with that order restored, he returns to the sea, there goes humanity's hero. The hope comes with the notion that Godzilla is out there, that should another MUTO show up, or humanity make another huge fuckup, Godzilla will set things right, and in that sense he truly is a hero, so long as he's alive, there is a force that can protect the order of nature, and by extension, protect us insignificant little monkeys. This is something I want to see explored in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, I want to see a post Godzilla world that actually shows how Godzilla has changed it, it'd be cool to see a sort of Godzilla religion, or to see the reality of their insignificance actually start to sink in, as morbid as that sounds, it would provide a very different look at Godzilla, in a world of people that either fear him or worship him, either way they see his size and power and understand that he is bigger than them, metaphorically. As the film ends, and Godzilla's spines vanish beneath the waves, the sea is calm, as is the world, now that the threat has been taken care of. But you, the audience, know that Godzilla is down there, just as Man knows of his existence now, a fact that will, despite being delayed by our arrogance, change our perspective on ourselves and the world.

Here's the part where I have to admit that Godzilla's not perfect, so yeah, it's not prefect, but I don't care. Joe Brody's death is premature, but that's the point, even if it's disappointing, and no amount of apologia will make the airport fight make sense, but that's seriously it, I can even ignore the reason defying nuke, because I love this film, and probably give it more praise than it actually deserves, but I don't care. Godzilla is a film I have now seen seven times, and each time I've loved it more, even if the initial blind excitement of seeing my childhood hero monster in the IMAX becomes a more and more distant memory. Sure I wanted to see Godzilla tear shit up in this movie, but it instead offered me something I wasn't expecting; showing itself to be a surprisingly intelligent and meaningful film, something I appreciate infinitely more than simple, mindless fun. Godzilla is, as I've said before, the Godzilla film I didn't know I wanted, and as you'd expect me to say, it's absolutely a must watch. 

Planes, Tanks, and Ducks

 Twas a lovely day, there I was, staring down the throat of the Goliath, it's face cold and still as glass, it's many, bladed wings motionless, and I thought, 'Shit, planes are cool.' A week or two ago I was at the RAF Museum in Cosford, and while I nephews were moaning about being bored, I was out looking for any excuse to stay just a little bit longer, because I just couldn't get enough. I had been to the RAF museum once before, and I loved it then, because tanks and planes were awesome, but I have since aged several years, and back then I didn't have a really nice camera, but what hasn't changed is tanks and planes, they're still cool as shit. What isn't cool is getting a nice looking knockoff Lego model of a Spitfire with a serious missing parts problem, or having to take photos of my nephews at a nearby garden centre rather than taking pictures of ducks and plastic dinosaurs, it's a step down from Cold War and WWII war planes, but it's the best I could do.

Prometheus movie review

Here's what you need to know; the crew of the Prometheus have been sent to answer the ultimate question, where did we come from. Following the breadcrumbs to a tiny planet in deep space, they hope to finally find out who created mankind, and to discover the true purpose of our existence. Their creators aren't what they were expecting however, and soon an ancient evil is unleashed on the Prometheus and her crew, it soon dawns on them that the search for our beginning could lead to our end.
Another Alien review, another bad shoehorning in of a tagline. I recently watched Alien: Covenant, and I still don't really know what to make of it, but my laziness meant that I still hadn't reviewed Prometheus, so here we are, making up for it while I get my head around Alien: Covenant. So with no further delay, the infamous kind of prequel to Alien, let's go.

Like Alien, Prometheus tries to keep it vague in its prologue, this time showing us a really pale guy drinking some nasty looking goo, then dying painfully and turning to dust. What is a really nice touch is how the title is slowly spelled out just like in the first Alien, even if CG DNA shit is way less ominous than the dark expanse of space. We then get an introduction to our two main scientists; Shaw and Holloway, as they dig around in a cave and find a cave painting that gets them all excited, but that's all a bit typical, so let's talk about the superb sequence where we are introduced to David, by far the film's most interesting character, as he keeps himself busy on the Prometheus while the rest of the crew sleeps. David is a fantastic character; he's a robot, yet he can think for himself, and is clearly trying to understand humanity, showing curiosity in human sentimentality, and trying to understand what makes him different from a human, while Holloway in particular throws a lot of Pinocchio allusions at him, underestimating David's pseudo humanity. Simply seeing him killing time on the ship, watching old movies, learning new languages, and grooming himself is really interesting, and he serves as a vessel for some of the film's larger questions. The crew has its highlights, but unlike the Nostromo crew from Alien, this crew is seventeen, which of course separates them into important people and Star Trek redshirts. Shaw is probably the most important character, a scientist with a near fanatical belief, and a huge amount of enthusiasm about finding the so-called Engineers, her character is also the most fleshed out in the film, as we learn about her past, the things that motivated her to this point, and deeper emotional problems that she has to deal with. This is a departure from Alien, whose characters were less developed, but relied more on the dialogue and sense of friendship they had with the rest of the crew, Prometheus also tries this, and is kind of successful. Janek's a pretty likable character, he has some great dialogue with his crew, and has an awesome speech before the final act that shows how intelligent he is, a point we'll get back to. really though the standouts of the crew are Shaw, David and Janek, the rest of the crew just don't have the same likability, level of development, or philosophical significance, Holloway is completely flat as a character, Vickers is good as the corporate woman, but that's all she is, and rest of the crew are either expendable or complete idiots. This is one of Prometheus' biggest problems; dumb characters, there's a scene where a bunch of people are all killed, painfully and in quick succession, and it's as if the film knows that they were completely expandable, in fact I don't know if any of them even had names. Then there are some characters that make really stupid decisions, like inquisitively approach a clearly hostile alien life form, that was fucking stupid, even the film's lead and eventual villain aren't above making dumb decisions, and dumb decisions wouldn't be a big problem if there was a rhyme of reason for it, but that's not always the case in Prometheus, and it's annoying, Prometheus also wants you to think that it's a smart movie, which really doesn't help.

Prometheus, despite the bad characters, actually is, at times, a smart movie; David's introduction aboard the Prometheus is a really interesting sequence, the central point of the story is a middle finger to evolutionary theory, and the questions that come from that are really interesting, questions involving the meaning of life, what life even is, and how easy or hard it is to create life. As the film goes on, more questions arise, like what motivated the Engineers, and what made them change their minds, what was their true nature, and the nature of the mysterious black goo that's everywhere in this film. The film is also loaded with less philosophical questions, like what was the giant head, or the mural and crystal, what really happened to the Engineers on the planet. These are all good questions, and it's great to see a film that challenges its viewers as much as this one does, and not give them the answers, but there is one question I have, which is what does this film have to do with Alien. Having seen Alien: Covenant, I know at least part of the answer to that, but on its own Prometheus does a terrible job of being a prequel; taking place nearly thirty years before Alien, on a different planet, not telling us anything about the origin of the Alien, or the reason the Space Jockey was on LV-426. For that reason I don't see Prometheus as a prequel to Alien, but more simply as a standalone sci fi horror film. On those grounds, it's much easier to forgive Prometheus' shortcomings, and appreciate what it gets right. One such thing is the visuals, which are stunning, Prometheus has some truly incredible visual effects; the sets are huge and beautiful to look at, the creatures all have a great sense of tangibility to them, in fact you'd be amazed at what things actually weren't CG, I certainly was, and the shots that are obviously CG look great too, even the curveball ending shows off some stupidly good visual effects. Ridley Scott's directing is also completely mesmerising, something I noticed while watching it at my friend's house for the first time, the wide shots are serene, the incorporation of CG has been done very thoughtfully, and the film as a whole is just incredible to look at. The more violent scenes are intense and up close, and Ridley Scott really knows how to show off those great sets during the less violent scenes. Is it better to look at than Alien, not even close, but Prometheus is absolutely beautiful looking, in all regards. Its less deliberate pacing might be an improvement for people who thought Alien was boring, and while Alien was definitely leaning more in the direction of horror than sci fi, Prometheus is very clearly more sci fi than it is horror, again making it quite the departure from Alien. As a result Prometheus is less disturbing than Alien, it has its own version of the Chestburster scene, and that's fucking vile, but overall Prometheus will definitely stick in your head with its philosophical questions, rather than the unsettling, disturbing atmosphere and imagery of Alien.

Prometheus is a flawed movie with some great ideas; the questions it asks you to think about are great, and the fact that it doesn't give you the answers is very bold for a film like this. It also comes with amazing directing, beautiful visual effects, and a provocative story and characters. Sadly that's also where it starts to fail, and where this actually pretty intelligent movie becomes really dumb; with disappointingly hollow characters who make ridiculous decisions, and an eventual villain that also makes ridiculous decisions, it really says something when the most interesting character in the film is a robot. With the failings of Prometheus in mind however, Prometheus is a completely enjoyable sci fi film, it's great to look at, and has an interesting story. What you expect out of Prometheus will ultimately determine what you think of it, know going in that this film does not tie into Alien like the label of prequel would suggest, and Prometheus is actually a decent film that's worth a watch.

Alien movie review

Here's what you need to know; much to their annoyance, the crew of the Nostromo are mandated by Company Policy to investigate a mysterious signal coming from a barren, isolated world in deep space. But when they arrive on the planet, they find something more ancient and disturbing then they could possibly imagine, and when their disturbing find finds itself aboard the ship, they soon realise that escape is no longer an option, and that in space, no one can hear you scream.
You know I couldn't resist typing that. Alien: Covenant is coming, and I was recently at a friend's house, him suddenly fainting prevented us from watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, so instead we ate shitty takeaway and watched Prometheus, the infamous kind of prequel to Ridley Scott's 1979 film, Alien. I actually enjoyed Prometheus a lot, and picked it up on Blu Ray almost immediately. I already had Alien on Blu Ray, so to get myself in the mood for Alien: Covenant, I'm watching the two Ridley Scott directed films in the series.

Alien might be a bit jarring to get into at first, since the first six or so minutes are almost totally silent of diegetic sound, with only the odd musical cue here and there. While this is a great time to realise that this film is fucking gorgeous to look at, it is a sequence that drags on, and while it is fitting given how slow this film is, that initial period of literally nothing happening can be a bit boring. The film gets a bit of life in it when the crew of the Nostromo are awoken from stasis; the film does a stellar job of putting you in the same boat as the crew, as at this point, both them and you have no idea what's going on, and I now realise how bad that sounds, it's not, I swear. The crew in this film are actually pretty cool, it's a small crew, which means you don't have any people who are there solely to die, this is a huge plus for the film; each crew member is distinct from the rest, both visually and in terms of personality, and the introduction you get to them, all gathered eating food and chatting and bantering with each other, makes them all fun and likable characters that you can get behind. You know what's coming, but because the film is so good with its ensemble, it really works at milking that tension, as no one character looks most likely to survive, if any do at all, so when shit gets real, and they start dying, it's pretty intense. That leads me onto something that can be seen as a flaw, but depends on how you look at it; Alien is a very slow film, the first six minutes is nothing happening, and the Alien itself doesn't really show up for a good hour, obviously people wanting to see this Alien tearing shit up, or to see the Alien at all for that matter, will be bored by this. I on the other hand love it; the first half of this film is so incredibly slow, with a lot of character interaction, and no Alien, but this stretch of the film has one of my favourite scenes, and is a brilliant example of how to build tension. The first time you see the mysterious source of the signal, it's in near total darkness, there is no sound, no movement, just a still, silent shot of the source of the signal, and it's one of the film's most chilling and effective shots. As they near the source, the music builds slowly, and the true scale of the thing is revealed, and it's really unnerving. The multiple looks you get of the Nostromo itself do a great job of selling the size of the ship, and it's all very eerie to just see it floating in space. When Alien wants to be creepy, it's creepy as shit, as scenes on the planet are very ominous and alien, while the scenes aboard the ship are dark and claustrophobic, the whole film just has creepy vibes, and with the empty, dead planet, and the massive ship with only seven crew, conveys an effective sense of isolation. It's clear that Alien does creepy really well, but what it excels at is tension, in the film's second half, when you actually have the Alien, and it's picking off the crew one by one, the creepy atmosphere of the Nostromo and the constant, looming threat of death on the entire crew makes the scenes when death comes really tense. When these scenes play out, you know what's going to happen, and you realise who's getting it this time, but the film doesn't give you that release, it lets that anxiety simmer as you anticipate the moment the tension finally snaps, and someone dies. It's at these moments the film gives a slither of payoff with a little glimpse of the Alien, the film wisely never gives you a really good look at the thing, feeding on a fear of the unknown, a need to see, to understand this creature, that never gets satisfied, the creature instead remains a mystery, a frightening mystery.

What glimpses you do get of the Alien make for a rather fucked up image, and not just in a literal sense. The Alien is monstrous to look at, lacking eyes, sporting a nasty set of teeth, and oozing and dripping slime, and it has a smaller mouth inside its mouth, which is pleasant. The guy who designed it, H. R. Giger, worked in the style of what he called 'biomechanical' and you can see this in the Alien. There's a sick elegance to its design; with its smooth, eyeless head, its stringy, tendony mouth, and parts that more closely resemble pipes and tubes than anything organic. While it's shaped vaguely like a human, there's an unnatural quality to it, one that comes across even when you can't see the whole thing. In the less literal sense, what makes the Alien truly frightening, in addition to its nasty appearance, is the concepts it's very existence plays with; for example the way it reproduces, the way it kills you, and what it does with your body, obviously I won't go into specifics, but there's just something fucked up about the Alien, the allusions in these details are suitably unpleasant, and that face hugger is scary, like seriously fucking scary. Despite having a very disturbing creature, Alien is, as I said before, gorgeous to look at; the sets have a great retro sci fi look to them, which I love, with the more alien looking environments looking very Giger biomechanical, they too are great to look at, but they're nasty, as you'd expect. Ridley Scott's directing is also great, the shots are wonderful to look at, and the directing couldn't do a better job of drawing you into the film's world, investing you in this Alien's misadventures, and in the Nostromo crew's fight for survival. The Nostromo itself looks really cool, and the model work still looks amazing, even coming up on forty years later. It's model work like this that can truly be appreciated, as I have said many, many times, models and props used in the right ways will beat CG every time, and this film is a great example. It is here however where the viewer becomes important, which is something I realised on my third viewing of the film; Alien is a film that essentially must be watched in the dark, with the sound turned up, and with no distractions, watching this film at night, on Blu Ray, and with your phone off is how you'll learn to love this film, once you're in the right mindset, this film becomes completely engrossing, and while some of the Alien stuff looks a bit silly when you think about it, if the film has you by the end of the first hour, those silly things are terrifying. Then there's of course the ending, in the spirit of the tense, claustrophobic monster hunt the film offers, the ending throws a curveball at you that is really well done, and firmly cements the Alien in the realm of nightmare fuel, as there is literally no escape. I didn't even mention the scene, but if you've seen the film, you know the scene, it's a vile scene, and it's a great example of how well this film can get under your skin, because it is genuinely sickening. I also didn't mention the music, which is also great, and does a great job of setting up an ominous, unsettling mood that is carried throughout the film.

Alien is a film I'm glad I've finally come to truly appreciate, and what you think of the film will depend on the mindset you have going in; if you're up for a gory monster film in space, then you will be bored out of your mind, but if you fancy a slow, deliberate, finely crafted film, with masterful use of tension and a palpable sense of anxiety, few films I've seen can even come close. That pacing will push some people away for sure, but if you're patient, and let the film take you, you'll get something that is creepy, intense, disturbing, and fantastic, Alien is definitely worth watching.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 spoiler review

I've seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 three times now, and I've had plenty of time to marinade on this film which, while still inferior to the first film, is certainly better upon reflection. And since there are undeniably parts of this film that I love just as much, if not more so, than the first, and I like to talk spoilers, I think I fancy telling my real, uninhibited thoughts on the film, and what I thought was weak, and what I thought was absolutely awesome. It should go without saying that I will soon completely ruin this film, so if spoilers bother you, now's the time to stop reading and go watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, let's go.

Just like Guardians, Guardians Vol. 2 opens with a flashback, this one in 1980, and it serves as our introduction to Ego, who is later revealed to be the film's villain. First up, Kurt Russell looks really young in this flashback, just something I thought was worth noting. But I do take issue with this flashback, the flashback in the first Guardians of the Galaxy was outstanding; as a very young Peter watches his terminally ill mum die of cancer, before being abducted by aliens, it's a really emotional scene, and it gives a superb setup for Quill, who becomes a really emotionally weighted character because of this scene. This scene does an alright job with Ego, a super charming space man with some mysterious ulterior motives, but obviously that's a bit less hard hitting than a kid watching his mum die. Another problem I take with the scene is how it effectively ruins Ego; what this scene shows us is him planting weird, alien looking plants on Earth, which is suspicious as shit, ever more so when he talks about it covering the whole universe or something like that. If it was a more normal looking plant, like a flower, it might have been less obvious, but as it stands, that's a really suspicious alien plant. Like I said in my review though, the film immediately picks up with the Guardians killing what the Lego set calls the Abilisk, and in a brilliant subversion of expectations, rather than showing the fight, we are treated to an adorable dance sequence with Groot, I'm sure there's people out there that might hate that lack of a big fight, but I think most people, myself included will be too oblivious, just like tiny little Groot. Something else this intro sets up very nicely is the relationship between the Guardians, as Rocket mocks Drax for having sensitive nipples; it's clear that the relationship still has a few kinks, as their teamwork skills still aren't great, and some egos are still clashing with others. There is a great moment however where Groot tries to eat a bug, and Rocket stops fighting the Abilisk to tell him to spit it out, quite metaphorical of what I said in my review, that despite always killing baddies and getting rich, they're all still trying to be good parents for Groot, it's adorable. The film's fantastic sense of humour remains strong as the Gold people chase them through an asteroid field, and the crew bicker and lob snark and sarcasm constantly, meanwhile the ship battle itself is pretty cool, with the Milano avoiding teleporting boulders while being shot at by a pack of Sovereign drones, before they leave the field, and some unknown force decimates the remains of the Sovereign fleet, which was cool. I said in my review that here's where the film slows down, and that's true; the humour's still there, but the film is completely lacking in any sort of action for a good while past this point. I get that the film needs time to set things up, setting up Ego, Mantis, Yondu, Sylvester Stallone, all before the film picks up speed again. That, as you'd expect, takes a bit of time, and while I usually wouldn't see such down time in the first act as a negative, coming off the first film; which had fantastic, almost seamlessly fast pacing, this extended period of just character development is really jarring.

That's easily the film's biggest flaw, in a complete reversal of what the first film managed to do, this film really takes it slow in setting up its characters and story. This huge amount of character development pays off massively in the final act, but until that pay off, you're just left confused that a sequel to such a fun film could be so slow, it's good character development, but it can, and does, drag on. Some of that great character development does however include a few great character scenes; the scene were Quill makes a light ball is really good, since it's pretty daft to watch, but it's also really sweet, given that earlier he talked about seeing the other kids playing catch with their dads, in that scene he realises that he now has that, which, again, is really sweet. The scene with him and Gamora dancing is also really good, as Gamora lets her guard down a bit, and the scene from the trailer where Mantis outs Quill wanting to bang Gamora is every bit as funny in the film as it was in the trailer. One of my favourite scenes in this stretch of the film, and in fact one of my favourite scenes in the film, is a scene with Drax and Mantis; it starts off funny, as ever, with the dreadfully honest Drax calling Mantis hideous, before Drax mentions beauty being internal as well as external, and bringing up his daughter. Drax says that mantis reminds him of her, since she is, as Drax says, innocent. It's here that this scene becomes really emotional, as a stone faced Drax sits there, and Mantis feels his feelings, and suddenly breaks down and starts crying; it's a beautiful way of conveying that Drax is a really emotionally damaged character, and it was such a pleasant surprise, it actually brought a tear to my eye. I mentioned that Nebula is also more important here, and it's here that we learn why she's so bad shit nuts and why she hates Gamora, as we learn how Thanos would force her and Gamora to fight, and how he would mutilate her when she lost, what I didn't mention in my review was that this film does get a bit morbid, and by a bit, I mean really, viscerally morbid, and it adds a lot to a character I never cared much for in the first film. And seeing Gamora and Nebula reconcile their hatred for each other is some good shit. One of my favourite elements of the film was what Rocket and Yondu were up to; the scene in the forest with Rocket taking on the Ravagers was your familiar cocktail of comedy and action, as he completely humiliates them singlehandedly. It's when him and Yondu are thrown into a cell together that things get more complex, and where one of the most emotional elements of the film starts to build up. As Rocket and Yondu talk, it become obvious that Yondu's actually had a pretty rough past, and that the reason he gives for not delivering Quill to Ego might not be entirely true. Later it's revealed that Yondu knew what Ego was doing, and that he couldn't let Quill suffer the fate Ego had in mind for him, which puts Yondu in a very unusual, and very emotional place as a character. During the final battle, we see a time where Yondu was teaching young Quill how to fire a blaster, which is such a subtle touch that some people might not even think it a big deal, which it is; in that one second, every time Yondu's ever been lenient or forgiving to Quill is given a whole new context, and Quill realises just what he and Yondu meant to each other, that despite being a douchebag space pirate who kidnapped him as a kid, Yondu was the closest thing to a dad Quill ever had. It's such a fantastic piece of character development, and it makes Yondu's fate even more heart destroying.

The scene with Yondu and Rocket slaughtering the Ravagers was also really awesome; we see that magic arrow like we've never seen it before, fucking annihilating what's probably hundreds of pirates, flying all over the place and completely shredding them, while Rocket blasters the stragglers and Groot gets some really satisfying revenge.  The music is perfect for this scene, as it's all just so daft and entertaining, seeing a pair of complete badasses hard at work. The moment in particular when the arrow kills the lights, before shredding the Ravagers in the dark is some beautiful imagery, and I absolutely adore it. What follows is a really bizarre sequence with wibbly wobbly space time, which is so fucking funny, I just love it, it's so funny, and a really good piece of character development as Yondu confronts Rocket, and the two realise they're not all that different. What this blossoms into is a pair of scenes, and they're that kind of scene; a kind of scene that just puts whatever film they're in on a new level, first up is the Rocket scene. When Rocket couldn't tell Gamora where Quill was, the pain was real, and when Rocket shoots Gamora to stop her leaving, that seals the deal; it's such an amazing scene, in fact, after watching Guardians 2, Rocket is my favourite character by a mile, because of this scene, because the tears were brought, the image of a completely emotionally defeated Rocket watching as the Ship's door closes in front of him is something I can't get out of my head. Then of course is the moment Yondu dies, which holy shit, that's morbid, like really morbid, Quill has to watch that, just imagine how horrible that is, Quill now realises how much Yondu cared for him, and now he is powerless while he suffocates and freezes in the vacuum of space, fucking hell, that's rough. The Ravager funeral at the end is amazing, Kraglin finally breaks, which is a really powerful thing, as is seeing the Ravager fleets come to see off their fellow captain, even after they exiled him for breaking the code, it's a visually stunning, and completely soul crushing send off for one of this film's biggest surprises, and I love it. Quill's speech was good, still having a pinch of humour, but clearly prioritising the feels, as he says goodbye to his space pirate dad. And I obviously couldn't say what it was, but in my review I said something about the last shot of the film; it's a close up of Rocket's face at Yondu's funeral, does it not blow anyone's mind that CG can now convey such subtle emotions, like the look in Rocket's eyes, seeing that tear roll down his face killed me, I adore it so so much, but it's painful to look at, seeing my new favourite character so broken.

And then, there's Ego. I may have alluded to him being the film's villain in my review, but yes, Ego is the villain, with an evil scheme to destroy the universe and literally rebuild it in his image. Ego's a likable guy at first, cranking up the charm to try and win Quill, while keeping a secret that all he needs him for is more light to begin his 'expansion,' remember that plant from earlier? well it turns out he wasn't kidding about it covering everything, he wants to terraform every planet in existence, and he's using those plants to do it. It gets grim when you learn that he's actually had thousands of children, and that he's killed every single one of them, because none of them carried his genes, his 'light'. Ego's a pretty awesome villain, like I said in my Rogue One redux, Krennic can justify genocide for his perceived greater good, in that sense, Ego is exactly the same, the Expansion must happen, and how many of his own children are murdered in the process is irrelevant, how fucking evil is that. But then he goes and ruins everything for himself, by letting slip that he put the cancer in Quill's mum's head, Guardians 2 went there, and Quill's response is very bit a violent and rage fuelled as you'd expect, he snaps out of Ego's trance, and immediately draws his blasters and just starts ripping shit into Ego, firing probably dozens of times, and tearing him to pieces. Ego's a god however, so that doesn't kill him, we get a pretty clever cameo, and then Ego goes full dick, forcibly taking Quill and beginning the Expansion. The fight against Ego is now on, and eventually they're in Ego's core, trying to destroy his heavily protected consciousness, before the gold people show up and make things even more difficult. There's a brief throw down with the gold people that's wrapped up with the Shin Godzilla laser back attack, and there's a really funny Mary Poppins joke. I said this battle was more epic, I said that because unlike the ship battle from the first one, with thousands of ships in combat above the city, Guardians 2's final battle is a small group verses a planet; a living, intelligent, super duper evil planet. a very cool looking evil planet too, and the scene where his Kurt Russell putty thing walks out, and slowly forms from a humanoid shaped mass of light back into Kurt Russell is a really cool effect, one of the coolest this film has to offer, up there with Rocket and Yondu's magic arrow. The fight does actually kind of lose me however when it becomes the Superman Zod fight from Man Of Steel, as Kurt Russell and Quill and is new god powers start throwing each other around and pummelling each other. It makes sense from a story perspective, as Quill realises the truth about himself, and embraces the light in order to destroy Ego. But it looks daft, and not in a good way like all the other daft things in this film, it actually feels a bit out of place, and I very much get a less is more vibe from it. The fight's end however is badass, as an effectively crippled Ego pleads with Quill to spare his life, and Quill, in a more meaningful and family friendly manner, basically tells him to go fuck himself. In that moment Ego reminds you how good a villain he was, as the reality finally dawns on him, that his Expansion has failed, and that after millions of years of being immortal and alone, his own precious progeny is now going to kill him, it's ironic, and it makes Ego seem kind of pathetic, which is fine, he's a dick.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is definitely harder to get your head around than the first one, the film suffers from a much less seamless pace, failing to be as consistently fun as that first film. But when the film's character development finally pays off after that wonky pacing, I'd actually argue it's better than the first one, as it brings the feels harder than the first one ever could. I'd still say it's not as good, Guardians of the Galaxy is more fun, but after a third viewing and a few days of thinking, I've realised that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 offers something different, something more meaningful. Now I have no doubt in my mind that if this film's pacing was as seamless as the first one's, it would have left that first one in the dust, but really, I guess to expect that is to expect perfection, and that's just not fair. I enjoyed this film more than I thought I did, and I'd still very much recommend it.