Thoughts on Ghost in the Shell (1995)

There's an American made adaptation of Ghost in the Shell hitting theatres now, and I really want to see it, but because of the way I think, I'd feel like I wasn't going in with the right mindset if I didn't watch the original Anime first, which I did, and it was interesting. I enjoy a lot of foreign films, Pan's Labyrinth and Godzilla are two of my favourite films, and I keep telling myself I will eventually watch The Raid. Yet while I enjoy them, I always feel a bit weird about reviewing them; Japanese films in particular, since it's not just another language, but an entirely different outlook on the world. Let me tell you, I may have grown up on Godzilla movies, and the odd Anime like Cowboy Bebop and Yu-Gi-Oh, but Ghost in the Shell is considerably more philosophical than them, and there's a lot more to unpack in it. So, rather than doing a normal review, I think I'll just do a spoiler review type ramble on my thoughts on the film, with full spoilers of course, which is the obligatory warning, Ghost in the Shell is very good film, and you should watch it, so long as you're ok with being mind fucked. Let's go.

The opening scene to Ghost in the Shell is one familiar to anyone who has seen a trailer for the live action film, when the Major gets naked and jumps off a roof. It's surprising how well this scene sets up the film, with nudity, violence, philosophy, and diplomacy, lots of diplomacy. It was funny to me how, at least on the two languages available on my DVD, the conversation between the Major and Batou is quite different. The film's intro titles are very funky to look at, as it runs through the assembly process of what this film calls a shell, an artificial body built to house a person's soul, known in this film as a ghost. The music's funky too, got to be honest, it's not a piece of music I'm familiar with, but it was good, and it suits this film. Where Ghost in the Shell does kind of lose me is the Diplomacy, because the opening act has a fair bit of it, I do however get that this is to set the stage for the Puppet master, an elusive cyber criminal who apparently wants to cause political and economic havoc, and as such the film does lean away from that aspect as it progresses, instead delving into its more philosophical elements. Something I did like about this film's opening act was the cop element, as the Major and Batou hunt someone trying to hack a government official, it's a fun little sequence, with a foot chase through alleys and a market that was very entertaining, followed by a faceoff between the hacker and an invisible Major, which was also very entertaining. It's here though that you realise that this film is a slow burn, Slow burn films can still be good if they're not boring, but that's going to be subjective. At this point the film has already hinted at one of its core themes, that being the idea of Humanity; the Major is a cyborg, but in this film she constantly ponders whether or not she can call herself human, she ponders individuality, and what, if anything, makes her unique; this is arguably the film's core theme, since it's also explored in the Puppet Master, but we'll get to that. There's a scene soon after this when the Major goes diving, and has a conversation with Batou about her questions of life, and it really does make you think; what about a person makes them a person, and what makes that person different from other people. The film blurs the line even more with the garbage man, who's been hacked and given fake memories of a wife and kid he's never had, is it memories that make someone unique, because his memories were hacked and altered, his reality was never real. Is it sexuality that makes a person unique, this is an idea extensively explored in the Major; who has no shame in getting naked in front of her colleagues, and in one scene, stares at a shop window mannequin, something symbolic of her sexuality and identity, or lack thereof. Meanwhile batou is more in tune with his identity and sexuality, and will sometimes cover the naked Major with his coat, or look away when she's changing out of a diving suit. Is it biology that makes someone human, can they die, can they have children, do they experience sexual desire? The film explores these ideas in a way I really liked, and it makes the Major a very interesting character, as she asks herself these questions.

These themes are also explored in the Puppet Master, who, like the Major, is questioning what he is, and whether or not what he is can be called human. I found this really weird, since I played this a few years ago in Black Ops III, going up against an intelligence that doesn't know if it's alive or not, of course this film predates Black Ops III by two decades, but it was funny to me to see how much this film's ideas have affected western media. I really liked the Puppet Master in this film, again going back to the theme of sexuality, it's a male voice inside a female robotic body, and it is referred to by section 6 as a he, while he refers to himself as a life-form, it's a very nice reflection of the Major. The Puppet Master is an AI program that became self aware, it never had a physical, biological form, but is it still a living thing. When the film ends, it's revealed that the Major and the Puppet Master merged ghosts, but the resulting ghost is neither the Major or the Puppet Master, in typical philosophical fashion, the film ends on the question; is this new thing more human than before, and is it even a human at all? Something the Major talks about near the beginning of the film is the value of individuality in a system, that there's always multiple ways of looking at things, which is very symbolic of this film's more mind fucky ideas. When the film's not asking such heavy questions however, you still have a very entertaining police thriller. Bringing up Black Ops III again, similar to the AI in that game, the Puppet Master is the result of a secret program that was covered up, though while the Black Ops III AI came from a much more fucked up place, you can tell where it's inspiration came from. This secret program gone wrong and covered up story isn't new now, but it's entertaining nonetheless, and it does something I always love in movies, which is blur the line between good and bad. This film doesn't have a conventional bad guy, there's no evil villain for fight throughout, there's the chase for the Puppet Master, then the chase for the Puppet Master again, this time with the knowledge that he's not some elusive super genius hacker, but an AI seeking to answer it's questions about life. In a funny way, the film is little more than a Shell to harbour its more meaningful ideas, and weave them together in an enjoyable enough thriller about a manhunt and secret government programs. Like I said that the beginning, this is a slow burn, there is action throughout, but it's not an action film; even the final showdown with the Puppet Master sets ups what looks like a huge fight with mean looking spider tank, and then boils down to a conversation between the Major and the Puppet Master. It'll be interesting to see how well that is reflected in the new film, or if it goes for a more action heavy story, and how that will be received by a more action hungry audience, again, I tend to enjoy slower films if they're interesting or engaging, Ghost in the Shell is both.

When I was watching it last night, I was enjoying the film as a thriller with more philosophical elements, but on reflection, Ghost in the Shell has much more to offer than that. It's a similar feeling I got the first time I played Bioshock, I had fun playing it, but it took time for me to truly appreciate what made it great, it took a day or two to digest that game's ideas of philosophy, society and free will, Ghost in the Shell is the same. And that's what I like most about the film, those more challenging ideas, and the questions it poses. I appreciate that it's not everyone's cup of tea, some people might prefer a simpler, more action heavy film, and the original Ghost in the Shell is not that, but I like films with substance, and Ghost in the Shell is definitely that. There's a few more Ghost in the Shell movies out there, and I don't know if I'll ever sniff them out, but I suppose there's no excuse not to now, because I really like Ghost in the Shell.

Life spoiler review

Life is a film I can't stop thinking about, like I said in my review, I absolutely loved the film, but it really bothered me, I like creepy horror films every now and again, like The Conjuring and its sequel, but the effect this film had on me is not even comparable, and since I hate short reviews, I want to explain why with full spoilers, which is an obvious warning, go see the film, seriously, it's awesome, go see it now, then come back if you so desire, let's go.

Going into Life, I did know more than I was letting on to, which is something one of my friends pointed out while we were watching, that being said, I didn't know how utterly gruesome this film would be, I expected a much more tame space horror, not one where someone's organs get scrambled in a cloud of blood and organ juice, but we'll get to that. Up until that point the film is going pretty predictably, as the introduction to the characters is going on, and you learn to like the people who you know are going to die. The Japanese astronaut was interesting, serving as an emotional anchor for the opening scenes, as he skypes his wife while she's giving birth, and becomes elated that he's dad. The interaction in this scene between him and the crew is great character building, as Ryan Reynolds jokes about who the dad is, and the Russian gestures with a kids story book, it's helpful in setting up the friendship between these people, which gives greater impact to their deaths, and makes the crew feel more human.  Jake Gyllenhaal's character is a weird one, someone who loves being up in space, and away from people, even though his prolonged stay on the ISS is literally killing him. This is a character trait that doesn't really go anywhere, only really coming back at the end of the film, with a decision he makes that wouldn't really have been different if he wasn't so antisocial, really it just reminds me that the characters in this film aren't terribly well developed overall. I see it similar to Rogue One in this way, with underdeveloped characters, but its fine because they're still enjoyable to watch and their adventure is a fun one. These astronauts are likable people, and the development they're given gets the job done, for example the British astronaut who's hand gets pulped in all of the trailers, he's disabled, and the scene where he talks about his wheelchair is a great bit of character development. Of course though, they die at the hands of the friendliest sounding Martian ever; Calvin, and while I think Calvin is exactly the kind of monster that would keep little me up at night, I love him. It's great to see how this whole thing starts, and how it builds up in a very natural way; Calvin is an alien, the first one humanity has ever seen, and they brought it back to life, it's completely reasonable that, in a contained environment, they'd be messing around with it, they're scientists, hell, I'm not a scientist and I'd be playing around with it, because it's a fucking alien. This of course leads to the scene in every single trailer, when Calvin crushes the guy's hand; I love this scene, I love how it builds up so effectively, with Calvin first acting defensive and grabbing his hand, and then starting to crunch after he tries to distract it. It starts slow, with them being concerned that it's not letting go, his heart rate starts to increase, which is understandable, it's a scary situation. Then the crunching starts, and everyone starts to panic, the panic gets more intense along with the crunching, before it hits its climax of Calvin mangling one of his fingers, he passes out, Calvin lets go. This may sound evil, but it really isn't, it's entirely reasonable to assume that Calvin was acting defensive in response to the electric wand, then switched to offensive when his heart rate went up and the zappy wand came back, it's an instinctual reflex, and Calvin then lets go when his heart rate drops, and the perceived threat is neutralised.

At least for the first half of the film, that's how they play Calvin, and it works, Calvin isn't a murderous monster, it's a creature with an instinctual desire to survive, and its actions are motivated by that desire, on a ship that's ultimately filled with people trying to kill it, but the film ultimately ruins it in the end, and just makes Calvin a murderous monster for the hell of it, this takes away from the animalistic angle they played on before, the angle that grounded the film in a layer of realism that actually made it scarier. Back to the spoilers though, Deadpool dies, really horribly. I was reminded a bit of Godzilla and Bryan Cranston when it occurred to me that Ryan Reynolds, despite being one of the top billings for this film, and being in all the trailers, is the first person to die, it was pleasantly surprising however, since it proved I didn't know where the film was going to go, or how gory it was going to be. This entire scene in the lab is the first instance of me biting my phone, we should pay respects to the rat who has a majorly fucked up death, when Calvin suddenly lunges for him and, I don't even know how to describe it, but it looked really painful, and really gross, my friend covered his eyes in fact, and scorned me for picking this gem of a film to watch. The tension at this point hasn't stopped, Reynolds is now trying to burn it with an incinerator, and having no luck, before Calvin one ups itself and crawls down his throat, and the three of us collectively shit ourselves at the realisation that this film was going to be rough, seriously, what a horrible way to die. Third place behind Deadpool and the rat is the Russian, who slowly drowns inside her space suit. this is one of the reasons the film bothered me so much, people don't die in this film, they die horribly, every death looks slow and extremely painful, and being in a tight space that's slowly filling with liquid is like something out of a nightmare. The most tame death in the film is the crushed hand guy, whose leg gets devoured slowly by Calvin, followed by the Japanese guy, whose death is a bit of a blur, but was definitely bloody. It's at this point also that Calvin goes from realistic instinctive animal to murderous demon, he even gets a fucking creepy demon Martian face, which is daft, and made practically no sense other than to give Calvin some evil eyes to look at people with, it was pointless. It's also around this point that the tension drops a bit, since the film itself slows down, now most of the crew is dead, and the moral ambiguity of Calvin's actions is out of the window, the film is left with Gyllenhaal and Rebecca Ferguson, two of the film's least developed characters, as they hatch a plan to hopefully deal with Calvin and have one of them survive. The scene as they enact their plan, despite being the big final confrontation with Calvin, is probably the least intense scene in the film, and the film looks set to make an anticlimactic ending, which is something I was hopeful wasn't the case, and thankfully it wasn't.

When I say anticlimactic, I mean happy; I  always knew Gravity would have a happy ending, since despite pretty much everything going wrong for Sandra Bullock, there's always an underlying sense of hope, her fight to survive and get back to Earth drives the entire film, which is why without cinema 3D and surround sound, Gravity is boring. This film has no hope at all; it's bleak and morbid and tense the most of its length. But even with that, Hollywood's love of happy endings and Calvin's shift from morally ambiguous to evil had me thinking this film would go the safe route, and have Ferguson get back to Earth and Calvin lost in space where it can't hurt anyone. Even as distinguishing the two escape pods got nearly impossible, I did start to think the film would have a happy ending. And by the time the pod landed, I even cracked a joke that she'd landed on Skull Island, being in a very Vietnamese looking bay. It wasn't until the two fisherman started approaching the pod that that niggling sense of dread started coming back, that I realised the confusing little pod dance was deliberate. My review of Life ended with the line, "That childish terror" and I talked about watching horror movies with my older brother when I was younger. Films like Child's Play and The Ring that would keep me awake, because I would be scared that Chucky was going to get me, even if I hated being scared of horror baddies, I can't state enough how amazed I am that Life actually managed to make me that scared again, especially now I'm an adult. Everything about Life's ending is, to me, nightmare fuel; and we'll cut to the chase; the film lingers on the fishermen looking into the pod, then the music instantly starts, as you are shown the inside of pod, and it's covered in nasty looking gooey webbing. If you were at all on the fence about how this film would wrap up, it hits you like a train, the entire film has been setting up how scary and dangerous Calvin is, and the reveal that it made it to Earth, coupled with the disgusting imagery, and the masterful use of music, is positively shit yourself scary to me. As is the fact that Ferguson is now going to die a slow, lonely, cold, claustrophobic death in space, never knowing is Earth is fucked or not, it was the most unsettling screaming I've heard in a cinema in my life. the last shot of this film is fantastically frightening, the film lingers for an uncomfortably long time on an aerial shot of the pod, all the while the music is still building, and building, and building, it fades to black, then lingers again on black, while the music still builds, louder and louder, then the music suddenly stops, and the credits role. It's been a decade at least since a movie monster has made me this afraid, and I don't really know why it happened, but this film got that out of me, it truly is a childish terror, a fear of something under the bed. Whatever triggered this powerful resurgence of mine, it was the result of Life, and that's the reason I loved this film, that's the reason I called it a must watch, despite admitting here that it has weak characters, and throws away some of its tension. That visceral emotional reaction from a film is something I genuinely cherish, even if the film has flaws, little me would have been sleeping with his parents out of fear that Calvin was coming, that it made it to Earth and was out to eat me.

I'm sure to most people my reason for adoring this film sounds silly, but when I left Life, I was thinking I'd just seen an excellent horror film, with a terrifying monster, gripping tension, intense violence, and an ending that genuinely made me afraid, those are enough reasons to love a film for me, and while my friends were scorning me for choosing such a grizzly film, I was convinced that seeing Life was a great call, that had we watched Power Rangers instead, I'd have missed that experience, I can't stress enough how much I love this film, and when this film is out on Blu Ray, you know I'll be there with the lights off and the sound up.

Life movie review

Here's what you need to know; scientists aboard the International Space Station make a discovery that could change humanity's understanding of life while studying Martian soil samples, a tiny little alien with the cutest name; Calvin. Calvin however isn't as cute as he sounds, as the alien rapidly grows and evolves, and soon manages to escape containment aboard the station, and start gruesomely killing the scientists. Realising the threat Calvin poses to human life, the surviving scientists make it their mission to ensure that it never makes it back to Earth.
This film had some interesting trailers, it struck me as a weird blend of Gravity, Alien, and The Thing, all three of those films being great, that sounds like a good mix. Keeping my mouth shut for once, we went into Life effectively blind, and I at least, and probably my friends too, no longer fancy going to sleep tonight.

I couldn't stop myself from making a reference to War of the Worlds in the opening sequence of this film, as the soil sample came 'across two hundred million miles of void' 'invisibly hurtling towards us' before being intercepted by the ISS in a beautiful to look at long take sequence that introduces the crew. It's not very often that I watch a film that I want to keep close to the chest when writing a review, and I'm not a fan of writing such reviews generally, since they're never long, and I like to talk about what I like in the film. Life is one of those films however, having watched the trailer again after seeing the film, I came to admire how well done the trailers are, while they give away too much in my opinion, they barely show Calvin, which is very smart. However if you haven't seen the trailer, I insist you don't, knowing nothing about Life before going in only makes it better. What I can say is that I like how contained this film is, the entire film's runtime is aboard the ISS, and the film effectively has only a handful of characters in total; the scientists, and Calvin. In that sense it's very much like two of the films I mentioned previously; The Thing, which isolates its heroes in a remote, snow covered corner of the world, and Gravity, which isolates Sandra Bullock in orbit amidst a debris storm. Like those two films, this film feeds off of that intense feeling of isolation, the feeling of being literally hundreds of miles from the nearest human, and having no chance of calling for help, add to that the disorientation and claustrophobia that comes naturally with the ISS in this film, and you get a surprisingly creepy setting that's perfect for this kind of gory, suspenseful horror. The film opens in a beautifully foreboding manner, but then, nicely, refrains from the horror elements for a bit, giving time to get to know the crew before Calvin inevitably starts picking them off. The crew in this film is surprisingly likable, and it makes each demise even harder to look at. That's something I loved and also simultaneously hated about Life, it's fucked up, the deaths are more often than not extremely gruesome and or unpleasant, and while you know they're coming, you don't really know in what order, which adds to that sweet suspense, as does the blood, and flesh, and coolant, fucking hell. That's another thing I love and hate about Life, it's intense; from the minute things get real, this film is edge of your seat tense, as, kind of like another movie alien I know, Calvin scuttles silently and invisibly about the station, appearing every now and again to make the squeamish heave. Though the film does lose a bit of that tension towards the end, it's definitely still there, and I must admit, twice at least during the film, I found myself biting the corner of my phone, must admit, I've never done that before, while one of my friends admitted to covering his eyes at one point, which I completely understand, because even I was pretty freaked out by that shit. On a technical level, this film is also marvellous, Calvin at times can look at bit off, but all the space stuff is Gravity level good, I said in Beauty and the Beast that it was never distracting, Beauty and the Beast was more distracting than this, it was wonderful stuff, unfortunately, those poor people. Quickly wrapping this review up, as the film came to a close, and I began to collect my thoughts, something happens, no specifics, of course, but the note this film ends on is so massively fucked up that I don't think I'll sleep tonight, seriously, this film's ending is nightmare fuel, I love it, but good god do I hate it.

And that's the best way I can sum up Life, I love it, and want to watch it again right now, on account of the likable characters, beautiful effects, and strikingly effective tension, but at the same time, I hate it and never want to watch it again, because that tension is so effective, and the deaths are so disturbing and grizzly in their nature, and that ending is downright horrifying, and the perfect way to send off this beautifully disturbing film. This film got under my skin more than any film I've seen in a cinema has, and takes me back to the days of watching horrors with my older brother and not being able to sleep afterwards. That childish terror will stick with me for a while, as will Life, which is absolutely a must watch.

Spring Sunset

The last few posts have been grim, all this political doom and gloom, time to inject some colour into proceedings. Throughout the month of March I've been taking advantage of the nicer days, and any excuse to get out of the house, to embark on camera quests, even lugging my camera equipment to work and back, which was fun. And throughout these quests I found a multitude of interesting things, for example what I first thought was a climbing frame in a field, until I got closer and saw the ground around it was covered with ash and nails, still don't know what it was, but whatever it was was on fire at one point. It's also nice to appreciate the little things that blossom around this time of year, and immortalise them in 24 glorious megapixels.

On the Westminster Attack

It was a normal, boring day, until my Dad called me in to see the news, there had been an attack in London; an attacker drove a car through people on Westminster bridge, killing three people and injuring a bunch more, before fatally stabbing a police officer on the Parliamentary Estate and ultimately being shot dead. This is obviously a major event, and has shaken Britain on an emotional level, and while I usually busy myself with petty matters when it comes to politics, I have some opinions I need to get off my chest.

This attack was only a matter of time; in the hours following the attack, my mum expressed shock that something like this could happen in Britain, but frighteningly similar attacks have happened again and again across the continent; the truck attacks in Nice and Berlin, the Brussels bombing, and the long list of stabbings and gun attacks, including the Paris massacre and Charlie Hebdo attacks in 2015, not to forget the attacks happening across the pond; Orlando, the New York bombing and San Bernardino,  London was only a matter of time, a major city that has so far, thankfully, escaped the terrorist bloodbath soaking the continent. Our time came though on the 22nd of March, when Khalid Masood ran down pedestrians on Westminster Bridge, before crashing his car and proceeding on foot to the Parliamentary estate, where he stabbed a cop and was then shot and killed. This is a guy with history; he's had several previous convictions for criminal offences, including knife attacks, and, according to some sources, spent some time in Saudi Arabia. The Question of when and why he was radicalised is ultimately irrelevant, since the damage has now been done, people are dead because of this fuck. Even I, being honest, was a little shocked that this had happened, obviously you don't want terrorist attacks to happen, so when they do happen, it shocks people. It wasn't until later that day, when I was checking Facebook however, that the probable reality sank in, when I saw a bunch of my friends putting British flag filters on their profile photos, and when people began sharing things like #PrayforLondon, and it occurred to me that once again, we would learn nothing from this event. Attacks in France, Germany, Brussels, Orlando, New York, San Bernardino, and now London, have seen very consistent reactions; people virtue signalling by putting filters on Facebook profile pictures, posting #Prayfor wherever, landmarks across the globe are lit up in the colours of the targeted nation's flag, and politicians and news outlets express horror and disgust at the attack, and babble about how this will not scare us and we will be defiant. And it's happened again, and it will happen again, and again, and again, and we will do nothing every time, we will virtue signal, we will 'stand in defiance' against the terrorists, and then we'll bury our heads in the sand and wait for the inevitable next attack. This is the reason I wrapped up Bring on the Meteor, a piece I've been sitting on for several weeks, I said in the end of that piece that we've become decadent, and we have, even now, people are still pretending that there isn't a major threat descending on our society, and while this one may not have nukes like the last one, it has the resolve to destroy us, and will replace us and our values with its ideology.

I said in Bring on the Meteor that people are scared of speaking their mind out of fear of persecution for their ideas; can't criticise Feminism because that's sexist, I say fuck that, you can't criticise the ideology that inspired all of these terror attacks; Islam, because that's racist, I say fuck that. There's a reason the KKK is almost dead in America, because people talked about it, and it's ideas were roundly rejected by the discourse, the horrors of the Nazis have forever discredited Fascism, but some ideologies are apparently above criticism, Communism still has its believers, despite the failures of every communist state that has ever existed, BLM still has its supporters, despite being every bit as racist and hateful as the KKK, but is free from criticism, because criticising it is racist. It's the same with Islam, Islam is not simply a religion, it's a political movement, an ideology, but you can't criticise it because it's racist to do so, this wedding of Race and religion has created a world in which Islam is effectively free from opposition, and in a world full of decadent nihilists and retarded ideologues, who call you bad names for daring to have a different opinion, a violent, corrosive ideology like Islam effectively has free reign, like sheep just letting the wolves in, and being horrified when the wolves start eating them. This ignorance of the problem needs to stop, people need to pull their heads out of the sand and realise what's really happening here, that our 'defiance' is the terrorists' victory, us ignoring the threat just gives them more time and freedom to wreak havoc. The label of Islamophobia has been engineered to create a paranoia about speaking out against Islam, and it has worked; people are scared of questioning the supposedly peaceful religion that's been hijacked by a tiny minority of evil people. The truth is the Quran is a book filled with evil shit, one which advocates the subjugation and extermination of non believers, the subjugation and torture of women, the execution and torture of homosexuals, and the Islamic conquest of the world. The argument that not all Muslims are terrorists is irrelevant, it's true that not all Muslims are terrorists, a Sam Harris quote comes to mind here though, where he once talked about Islamic fundamentalism, he states that religious fundamentalism isn't a problem if the fundamentals of the religion aren't, he gave the example of Jainism, a non-violent religion. There are no Jainist terrorists, so why is there Islamic terrorism if Islam is a principally peaceful faith? The reality is that it's not, and that when we say it is, we are lying to ourselves.

And that is why these attacks are still happening, after two years and numerous attacks in Europe and America and now Britain, we continue to lie to ourselves that Islam is not a problem, that it's not an invasive ideology that is completely incompatible with and aggressive to our own values, and that lie, and a fear of being politically incorrect prevents the expression of criticism, criticism that Islam rightfully deserves, it's not a peaceful faith, it's a twisted political ideology that needs to be criticised and ridiculed into oblivion, where it will simply lack the teeth to pose anywhere near as serious a threat as it poses now. Brexit and the election of Trump gave me hope that the shackles of Political correctness were finally being broken, but here we still are, too scared to speak our minds lest we be ostracised by our progressive peers, get fired, get shanked by some religious nutter, or end up on some Government watch list, the ruthless, uncontrolled and honest exchange of ideas is something that is needed now, violent and dangerous ideologies need to be challenged, as do the rampant ideologues who would rather protect their precious bubbles than the safety of others. We need to stop pretending that there isn't a problem, because these attacks will not just stop on their own, the root cause needs to be addressed, and it's not being addressed by the politicians, or the news outlets, or any of the virtue signallers on social media. This dishonesty will continue to kill people, and the decadence promoted by cunts like London's mayor Sadiq Khan will not help. Terrorism is not a normal part of life in big cities, and it should never be, but it will be if we don't stop lying to ourselves, and we continue to let the terrorists win.

Bring on the Meteor IV: The Pewdening

Oh, happy days, while I've been bored and dwelling on my human failings, many things of varying stupidity have been happening, like what I'm rambling about today; smear campaigning of innocent people and the government spying on people again. These are all older stories, so while I do try to keep myself in the loop on these matters, I'm still lazy as shit. So with cynicism levels over nine thousand, it's time to gaze upwards once more, not looking for TRAPPIST-1, but for the meteor, which is still too far away for us to see.

Let's open with something that's been talked about to death on YouTube, something that would be a great example of how slimy the media is, if there wasn't an even better example that happened less than a week later. Three writers at The Wall Street Journal made a very interesting choice to go after the Youtube giant Pewdiepie, because according to the multitude of media hit pieces, he made anti-Semitic jokes. Pewdiepie is a Youtuber I used to watch from time to time, while I'm not a huge fan of his stuff, I could still watch his videos and be entertained, and I knew little about the media's beef with him until this whole shit show started. Like I said in The Buzzword Game, when calling people names started to lose its power, the media and the progressives opted to change not their tactics, but their ammunition, so now it's not enough to be called a sexist of a racist, you're now a Nazi, you're a white supremacist, you know, like Pewdiepie. Let's go back in time a bit, to March 2016, when a so called comedian Sarah Silverman did a joke interview on Conan O'Brien, dressed as Adolf Hitler, now keep that in mind when the Wall Street Journal brands Pewdiepie a Nazi, it's because he made a few jokes, dressed up as a Nazi, and used Hitler's image a few times in his videos. I get a strange feeling here; Sarah Silverman isn't a Nazi, but Pewdiepie is? Is it possible that the reason this is the case is because Sarah Silverman is on the same side as the people calling Pewdiepie a Nazi, while Pewdiepie is not on their side, that would strike me as very inconsistent, because if both people dressed up as Nazis for a joke, and one of them is now a Nazi, aren't they both Nazis? The inconsistency of the media is something we'll get back to later. Frankly, it strikes me as the media not wanting to apply their bullshit standards to someone they like, while giving hell to someone they don't like, not on some moral standing, but because they don't like him and they want him destroyed; Pewdiepie said in his response video to all this shit that the media doesn't like people like him because they're scared of them, and I completely agree, the old media has been dying a slow death for years, and it's very clear from incidents like Trump and Brexit that their desperate tactics are hopeless. They have been run by 'liberal minded' people for years, and these 'liberal minded' people are intolerant; mostly of people who think differently to them, but, what is obvious now, people who expose their incompetence and intolerance, people who's audience grows while theirs shrinks. Enter Pewdiepie, the biggest Youtuber ever, an excellent target for the dying media, as his numbers alone make him nearly untouchable, and he's someone who clearly will not bow to them and their bullshit, and as we have seen with every single anti-feminist female celebrity, people who can't be controlled are to be destroyed. Pewdiepie knows this game, clearly, he knows the media hates him, because his audience dwarfs theirs, and he doesn't agree with them, which is an enormous threat to their ideological hegemony, and they can't make him bow, so they go after his wallet; cherry picking a few out of context jokes, and sending them off to Google and Disney, who subsequently cut their ties with him. Sarah Silverman's Conan stunt proves they have no leg to stand on when it comes to Nazi jokes, making it very obvious that this is opportunism, this is them wanting to take down someone they don't like and finding any reason to do it, and just like Trump, it's not going to work, Pewdiepie's response video is sitting at nearly eighteen million views, that's a lot of people who probably already knew how dishonest and opportunistic the media are, but now know beyond doubt. Pewdiepie will continue to grow, while they will continue to die, and desperate attacks on their opposition will only make them die faster.

But after they cost Pewdiepie a lot of money and labelled him a Nazi, they figured they'd try it again, this time to someone I kind of like, the most fabulous faggot that ever lived, Milo Yiannopoulos. I've rambled about Milo several times now, first about his banning from Twitter, then people losing their minds about his book deal, and then people rioting and attacking people with flag poles because he was speaking. If there is a line of decency in the media, that line will be entirely subjective, but in my opinion, the media crossed that line ages ago, and rather than changing course, they just went even further into the shit. Milo has, it seems, led a very troubled life; it's not very difficult to believe that someone so flamboyant could be compensating for something, trying to cope with something, and it would appear that that is what led to him talking on the Drunken Peasants Podcast about sexual relationships between older men and younger men. First up, to get it out of the way, I believe that there is no definitive line at which a sexually mature person becomes able to consent, I have always believed this, I think it depends less on the person's age and more on how responsible and developed that person is, which of course varies from person to person, because some people are stupid. That being said, while I think the line is a very blurry one, I do not believe that it extends down to young adolescents, which is where I believe Milo is absolutely dead wrong; people that young are very certainly not responsible or smart enough to make decisions like that, even if they're egomaniacs like Milo. Milo, however, seems to have had that decision made for him, and, being charitable, his belief on the matter is probably informed by his life experience, which has led to him having a warped stance on the matter, that doesn't change the fact that he's wrong, and that what he's saying is completely insane, it would just appear that this is his personal reasoning for believing it. But then the media goes after him with the label of paedophilia, going for an intensely uncharitable position that Milo is someone who supports paedophilia, despite being a victim of paedophilia himself. The problem clip of him on The Drunken Peasants has, however, been spun into Milo's defense of paedophilia and kiddy diddling. Frankly, I think they're both wrong, Milo may be a victim, but that doesn't give him a free pass, he's said some really stupid shit. The media meanwhile has absolutely no leg to stand on morally, because while Milo is normalising relations between men and boys in the gay community, they've been trying to normalise paedophilia for years, take for example a few Salon articles that have since recently disappeared regarding Paedophiles not being monsters. I reckon this is, again, the media going after someone they don't like simply because they don't like him, and he says and thinks things they don't like, just like Pewdiepie losing money in a Disney deal, Milo has lost his book deal, which pisses me off because I was looking forward to reading it, and he has since quit Breitbart. This is more proof of how slimy the media is, Milo, like Pewdiepie, like Donald Trump, is a threat to them, and their reach is withering while Pewdiepie and Milo and Trump continue to reach more and more people, and the media has nothing left to fight over at this point, they've already given platforms to paedophiles and regularly give platform to obvious racists and sexists, truth is it doesn't matter to them if Milo does or doesn't condone paedophilia, they'll just play their burned out morality card and try to crush him for their own gain, not because Milo is evil or dangerous, but because he's dangerous to them, sadly it won't work, because Milo is about as egotistical as it gets, and there will always be people who flock to his defense, even when he's wrong.

This last section was originally going to be on Tony Blair's Brexit speech, but it started getting really long, not surprising when it's a half an hour long speech and it's literally nonstop bullshit. But then, while I was trying to compensate for my rambling, in swoops yet another story of government hacking and surveillance, one which left me very conflicted, whether to be happy or horrified that I was right. WikiLeaks dropped another bombshell recently, and I ditched my Blair rant in favour of talking, once again, about government surveillance, this time it's Vault 7. Vault 7 is a leak from the WikiLeaks chaps that catalogues a host of CIA and MI5 shenanigans; like for instance malware that can infect Smartphones and Smart TVs and gather data from their cameras and microphones, which is exactly what I said in Bring on the Meteor before when rambling about the Investigatory Powers bill, they can spy on you using phone cameras. Apparently they've also been finding weaknesses in security in Apple and Android phones, and rather than reporting them so they can be fixed, they've been hording them to use them as exploits. It's hilarious to me that this came so soon after Donald Trump claimed the Obama government were listening in on him during the presidential race, something that apparently has no evidence, but now we know the CIA can literally hack any phone in the world, so it may not be wiretapping, but is it stretch that they actually were listening in on him. You know where I'm going with this, the same place I took the Investigatory Powers bill; this is government snooping, now on an international scale, this is intelligence agencies in America and Britain having backdoors into people's phone cameras and messaging apps, literally being able to see and hear you whenever they want, and leaving security holes in operating systems for them to take advantage of, which also leaves them open for any tech savvy fella who wants to hack your phone. Similar to the Investigatory Powers bill, I feel that I will get a lot of people saying surveillance is a good thing because it catches bad people; yet they all said they'd never allow the government to put cameras in their homes, well just like I said, they didn't need to, all they needed was for you to have a smartphone, and for them to have some malware to infect that smartphone, or computer, or TV. They don't need cameras in people homes anymore, because people willingly have cameras on them most of the time now. Being honest, is it all that surprising that the government agencies are spying on the citizenry, the Snowden leaks proved no, and thus, while disturbing, these revelations aren't all that surprising, but once again a familiar phrase needs to be challenged, 'if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear,' it's a phrase that disgusts me more the more I hear it, like the people who say shit like that would be cool with intelligence agencies and police putting cameras and microphones in their homes, because they wouldn't, but since it's just internet history in the case of the Investigatory Powers act, and gathering data from people's phones with vault 7, it's fine. Similar to my ramble about Prohibition and Porn I did a while back, when does this slope stop, at what point of surveillance do people draw the line, and how far are they prepared to go with the knowledge that it's happening.

So what's new, nothing really; the media continues its war against anyone who opposes them, and the government continues its war against the citizenry. The problem is all the Sargons and Amazing Atheists of Youtube are dwarfed by Pewds, while all the anti SJW feminist bullshit Youtuders pose a serious threat to the hegemony of the mainstream, Pewdiepie has enough fans to hear his message that he alone is just as big a threat as all of them, if not a bigger one, and as usual, how ironic that their efforts to destroy him have led to even more people knowing the truth. The same applies to Milo, him being wrong on this issue doesn't justify the co-ordinated effort to take him down, and it will, in the end, completely backfire. And as for surveillance, I've made my position clear in the past, it's bad, it's dangerous, and it can and inevitably will be abused at the expense of innocent people, yet like the topic I'm quickly wrapping up this corpse of a piece to talk about, our society is too decadent to care at this point, which is every bit as dangerous as the surveillance itself. I like to think that every human being can think for themselves, but I'm always told by my caring grandmother to watch what I say, and I don't want to do that, and I don't think anybody should, people thinking for themselves leads to a diversity of ideas, which is the only diversity the SJW's and the corporations and the governments  don't like, the UK government doesn't want people talking about how they watch what you do online, and the CIA doesn't want people talking about how they watch what you're whatsapping and spy on you through your phone camera. But these are things that need to be talked about, and that fear of repercussions is exactly what they want, they don't want opposition, and I believe it is the right of everyone to provide that very opposition.

Beauty and the Beast movie review

Here's what you need to know; Belle lives a pleasant little life in a little French town, but feels the world has more to offer, and longs for the chance to go and see it. That chance doesn't come in the way she expected however, when her father is taken captive in a derelict old castle, occupied by a hideous beast. Belle soon finds herself trapped in the castle, but starts to realise that the beast isn't as monstrous as he appears, and that somewhere beneath the fur and claws is a human being.
I may have really liked The Jungle Book, but I'll be blunt, I had absolutely no intention of watching Beauty and the Beast. Like The Jungle Book, I either haven't seen the original animated film, or was too young to remember it, what I do know is I don't like Emma Watson, and romantic films aren't my thing, with a few exceptions. Despite my apprehensions, I went into this film as neutral as I could, and with my fingers crossed that this would become one more exception.

The film opens with a scene that sets up the history of the Beast, showing his life before being turned, and explaining the reasons for his turning, while I understand the need for a scene like this in some ways, I don't think it's a very necessary scene, since that would have left more room for suspenseful build up to the Beast's reveal later in the film, which is something the film actually does, keeping the Beast mostly in shadow and hiding his face. We'll get back to the Beast later, but first we'll go into my biggest apprehension, Belle; I was actually surprised by how tolerable Emma Watson was as Belle, and Belle was a pleasantly interesting character, being one of the few literate people in her town, she wants to help the people but is mocked and shunned for it, while she has a close relationship with her father, who's secretive about their past and the fate of Belle's mother. This adds up to a character that's very likable and interesting, and her being an outcast in her town gives a bit of relatability to the Beast. Gaston however is one this film's two scene stealers, every time he's on screen he's all you can focus on, much like Shere Khan in The Jungle Book, he is a fantastic villain. He's completely narcissistic and arrogant, seeing himself as some larger than life hero, and seeing Belle as the only woman worthy of being his bride, the guy's a lovable arsehole throughout, and it's fun to see his arrogance and his lust for Belle drive him to villainy. His right hand man, LeFou, is a similarly fun character, someone who's constantly obsessing over and inflating the ego of Gaston. Disney's little stunt of announcing he was gay a few weeks back may have been really stupid and pointless virtue signalling, but him being gay did nothing for his character, he's a funny and likable guy for the entirety of the film, and his arc towards the end of the film is both well earned and handled in a very funny manner, so well done Disney, you proved to the world how progressive you are and didn't ruin a character in the process. The Beast's various anthropomorphic servants are all very fun to watch too; they are easily the film's most light hearted element, as they talk amongst themselves about their dreams of becoming human again, and their hope that Belle might be one to save the Beast from his curse, they're less like servants to the Beast and more like parent figures, as the Beast regularly consults them, and they ignore his orders and try to force the Beast to actually talk to Belle, it's really sweet. Then there's of course the Beast, like I said earlier, I think the Beast would have benefited from a more suspenseful build up, but I guess it can't be too scary for the kids now. once you see the Beast's face, he becomes a really likable character too, starting off as a grumpy arse who's rude to Belle, but seeing the error in his ways during his time with her, and with some helpful pushes from his servants, he becomes a really sympathetic character, starting to care for Belle, and the veneer of a horrible monster starting to slip.

Being a kids film, not only is the Beast less scary than I think he could be, and should have been, but the film's story is very straight forward; there's a bit of mystery around Belle's mother, but the film doesn't do anything really unexpected, and it obviously has a happy ending. I'd say this is a good thing however, for reasons I'll get into. This film is gorgeous, the aesthetic is very pleasant to look at, in terms of architecture, costume, scenery, is it very convincing looking, no, but it's all very fairy tale esque, which I assume is the idea, this film is based on a fairy tale after all, it's a simple, fantastical tale of romance, and I like that stylish simplicity of it. It being a film about a beast, it's got some CG in it, the servants are by far the most obvious CG in the film, which isn't to say they look bad, in fact they look pretty good, as they dance around in their anthropomorphic weirdness, it gets even weirder when you realise who's doing the voices, which is something you shouldn't look up if you don't know, because I didn't and it's one hell of a cast. The Beast however looks phenomenal, I found myself in a similar place to when I saw The Jungle Book, watching something that I knew was not real, and not even having that thought cross my mind, the only difference is that in this film suspending your disbelief is much easier, despite this film having magic and talking clocks. The more fantastical elements of the film are reflected in its music; very unlike the Jungle Book, this film is filled with songs, Belle is introduced through a song, and every character gets to take part, Belle, the Beast, the servants and Gaston all have their own songs, and for the most part the songs are actually really good, Gaston and Be Our Guest are fun to listen too, but really the only songs I didn't find myself liking were Belle's songs, and that's more my problem than the film's, mushy songs aren't really my thing. They're also fairly spaced out throughout the film, so you're not without a song for too long, and they vary in enjoyability from passable to really good, coming from someone who generally isn't a fan of musicals, as well as romances, as well as mushy songs, that's saying something. The film also ends on a really high note, with a fun and silly climax with the servants, while Gaston hunts the Beast, it's a great mix of comedy and fun, and suspense as Gaston and the Beast come face to face. And while the film ends exactly how you'd expect it to, it was still satisfying to see Gaston's comeuppance, and the payoff of Belle and the Beast, as well as the resolutions of all the smaller characters like the Servants and Lefou.

I like it when a film completely takes me off guard, when I go in with no expectations, even a bit of apprehension, and come out having enjoyed it. Even better when, like the last film I reviewed; Logan, I start to like it more the more I think about it, thinking about it now I would gladly watch it again. It has very likable characters, a simple and fantastical story that's solidly entertaining, and fun music. I must confess, I enjoyed Beauty and the Beast, and it's definitely worth watching.

Logan movie review

Here's what you need to know; Logan is at the tail end of a life of loss and sacrifice, and is now sitting out his remaining days hiding away and caring for an elderly Charles Xavier, his quiet life is suddenly changed however when people with guns show up in his life, asking for a girl. Upon seeing who, or what, this girl is, Logan reluctantly embarks on a mission to get her to safety, all the while their hunters aren't far behind, and death is never far away.
When I left the cinema yesterday, my head was about ready to explode, after sitting through three films in a row, including Kong: Skull Island for a third time, and Logan, a film I've heard nothing but praise about, and that I finally got round to watching, in screen 10, the tiniest screen in the whole cinema, it was cute.

Logan started after the very amusing Deadpool short that I wasn't expecting to see, and then starts in a way I was kind of expecting, with some goons messing with his car, he then fucks them up with his claws, and it was bloody, really bloody, a few limbs came off. It's a great little intro that sets up both the film and the struggle of Logan, and the violence is beautiful. Let's get straight into it, Logan in this film is a very broken man, when he's not driving his limo, he's drinking, he tells people to fuck off constantly, and his coughing and hobbling would suggest a serious physical condition. This film's characters can be and usually are very depressing, as it's clear that most of them have just given up on life, and are now just waiting to die, Charles is the same, like Logan he's no longer a super hero, he's now just an old man, with a key difference that he now has seizures that can paralyze and kill anyone in his vicinity, as a result of a degenerative brain disease. While I liked these characters in what previous X-men films I've seen, these are not the same people, in those films they still had a bit of life in them, but in this film they're old and tired, and far from saving the world, they now hide near the border, with Logan and his albino friend helping Charles with his seizures, it's really depressing, and it makes these guys characters you can really feel for. The film's antagonist, Donald Pierce, has a great introduction scene, and is a great villain throughout the film, always on the heroes' tail, and doing some pretty evil stuff when he gets the chance, and while he does take a back seat in the film's final act, I thought he was a good villain. Then there's Laura, the mysterious girl, and someone who isn't like I was expecting, first of all I expected her to talk, yet for most of the film she seemingly only communicates in grunts and screams, the trailers give away that she's X-23, so like Logan, she has a metal skeleton and claws for tearing shit up, and her backstory is really creepy, and adds to Donald Pierce's villainy. What she wants though is clear, and the film shows it a few times, she wants a family, and she sees that in Logan and Charles, even if Logan wants nothing to do with it, it really really reminds me of The Last Of Us, and the relationship Joel and Ellie had for most of that game, but the similarities don't stop there. Like The Last Of Us, this is a story filled with suffering, the main hero of the story is an old man with nothing left in his life, having lost everything and everyone he cared about long ago, he reluctantly decides to help a child, who, over the course of the journey, begins to see him as a father figure that they never had, while the hero begins to find a new reason to live in the child, it's a story that worked in The Last Of Us, and it works here, and it's about as soul destroying, as death hangs over them and everyone they come across relentlessly.

Like I said in the beginning, this film is violent, really violent, when people get clawed there is blood, limbs and heads come off, it's viciously violent, but like the constant F-bombing, it doesn't feel like a gimmick; Logan is a bleak film, who's characters have lived very troubled lives, fucked is a good way of describing them, and the mercilessness of the violence is a reflection of that surrender of the characters' humanity. The blood is also very much like a fine seasoning on this film's action, with soldiers trying to kill Logan and Laura, and Logan and Laura tearing them to pieces, the film may end on a climactic action sequence, and have bursts of it throughout, but that's clearly not the point. This film reminds me of another thing, as well as The Last Of Us, another James Mangold film, funnily enough; 3:10 To Yuma. 3:10 To Yuma was a film I loved, and there's a lot of what I liked in that film in Logan, the whole thing has a very western vibe, with a journey through the deserts of the American border, through the rural farmland, and up into the forests and mountains, it's a very old west aesthetic, and that theme is reflected in the characters, like 3:10 To Yuma, the films centres on two characters who must get to a place, but while Yuma questions the humanity of its villain, Logan questions the humanity of its hero, and like Yuma again, Logan has a tragic ending. This film really hits you with the feels, on a regular basis, obviously I won't get into specifics on those feels, but they're there, and they're effective, and the final shot of the film is simultaneously one of the most touching and depressing things I've seen in a film for a long while. It being more like a western than a super hero film, it doesn't have any world ending stakes, it's a very personal story, and it doesn't have any massively destructive battles, like a lot of super hero films these days have, the action is very contained, in a nice way, and the film keeps its focus on the characters, it never cuts away, it knows what the point is, and it keeps itself focused and contained, and it makes the film all the more personal. It being a more contained film, the effects are also very minimal, and there's nothing unnecessary about it, it's perfect, again, the film stays it's course for the vast majority of its runtime, and it benefits from it. I like films that are all about the story, And Logan is one of those films, sure, it has action, it has CG, but that takes a back seat to the story and characters, and it's great.

All in All, Logan is a film I enjoyed while I was watching it, but that I like more and more the more I think about it; it's a film with great characters, an excellent western style journey, a very personal and emotionally heavy story, and some awesome action scenes sprinkled throughout. But even though you enjoy the action, that's not what sticks with you, what sticks with you is the bleak, depressing, emotional story, that knows what matters and knows how to make you hurt inside. Logan is a film I knew I would like, but I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I do, and it's definitely worth watching.

Kong: Skull Island spoiler review

I haven't done a spoiler review in ages, but I recently watched Kong: Skull Island, and that film has some things in it that I really want to ramble about, but can't because it would completely spoil the film, and I totally mean more than just that freak-out educing post credit scene, here I'm going to go into specifics on some things I really liked, and some things I really didn't like, and sink my teeth into this film with full spoilers, it should go without saying that if you haven't seen the film you should do that before reading on, let's go.

Something I didn't mention in my review was the fate of Marlow's enemy turned brother in arms, the Japanese pilot who also crash lands on the island at the start of the film. You learn that he and Marlow became close friends on the island, and made multiple attempts to escape before he was killed by a Skullcrawler, I however don't think he should have been killed, I think the film would have benefited from actually having him in it, it would have been interesting to see Marlow and his friend, it would have given the film more emotional weight, as the film doesn't really have that until the end, when there's a really touching scene with Marlow singing We'll Meet Again, before being reunited with his wife and son, and watching the game with a beer and a hotdog. I did think that was a great way to end his character's story, something about it's just really sweet, and without it, this film would be very devoid of emotional weight, like it already is for most of its runtime. That's because, like I said in my review, most of the film's characters are really poorly developed; Conrad's dad gave him an RAF lighter before going off to fight the Nazis, that doesn't really add to his character, it's just some exposition, Weaver being in the shit is the same, and has the same problem; in Godzilla Ford had to deal with the death of his mum and his dad's decent into madness, both things you are shown in the film's opening sequence, that emotional weight hits right at the beginning of the film, and the effect is Ford becomes a more interesting character, even if he's completely wooden, and Conrad in this film is a badass. The closest comparison in terms of characters however is Randa and Serizawa, Serizawa is someone with a history with Godzilla, having finally read Godzilla: Awakening, I learnt his father was a Monarch agent, and spent six years trying to prove Godzilla's existence, after surviving the Hiroshima bombing and having a run in with a MUTO. Randa meanwhile also had a run in with a MUTO, which was most likely Godzilla, Randa is driven to find the answers he seeks because of that encounter, while Serizawa is carrying on his father's work, fortunately Serizawa has a comic to help flesh him out, Randa has some exposition, so the point goes to Godzilla, again. Packard and his soldiers were an interesting crew of characters, but not necessarily for the best reasons. It is a spoiler, so I didn't bring it up before, but near the end one of the soldiers tries to kill himself to slow down the Skullcrawler, and it just makes no sense, he tells his friends to go and live their lives, then turns around and tries to blow up the Skullcrawler, but there's no reason he would do that, the film's established him as a little off in the head, but that doesn't explain this very sudden suicidal decision, and his 'sacrifice' was pointless, since it carried no emotional weight. Another soldier writes to his son, and he's actually somewhere I think the film could have expanded, since he spends most of the time he's alive separated from rest of the crew, instead of fleshing him out more and giving him more screen time however, you see him a few times, then a Skullcrawler vomits up his head, wasteful. The soldiers do however provide the film's best laughs; early on Packard makes a Jurassic Park reference, which was funny, the guy who kills himself has a good bit or to, mainly "unconventional encounter", it's still clear though that the vast majority of them are simply there to die, some have a bit more personality than others, which means they either survive or die in more significant ways, and seeing that pattern is too easy.

Packard's quest to bring down Kong is, weirdly, one of the film's most grounded elements, as Kong killed his men, now he sees an enemy in Kong, and he needs an enemy, he needs a mission, so he gives himself one both as revenge for his dead men, and as a justification for his struggle. The suicide soldier had some good foreshadowing earlier in the film about enemies not existing until you go looking for them, his need to kill his enemy drives him to madness, it alienates his men, and in the end, when he fails to kill Kong, and Kong crushes him, it's a satisfying comeuppance. The other character I felt the film did an alright job with was Marlow, like I said earlier, it might have been better to have the Japanese pilot in the film also, since while they were friends on the island, when they last saw the world they were on different sides of a war. I think the film could have done with some more Marlow anyway though, his story was the most interesting of any of the characters, and the most engaging and satisfying from an emotional standpoint, he was cool. They try to go for the feels with Kong and Weaver as well, and it failed, miserably. The scene I was on about in my review was the scene when Conrad and Weaver are face to face with Kong on a cliff, I'm not sure what motivated this, either an effort to humanise Kong, which isn't necessary, or a desire to employ the Kong Ann relationship that was crucial to both the original films, again, not necessary. Regardless of the motivation, it was a dumb scene, and in isolation it would have been just a dumb scene, but later on when Kong is fighting the big Skullcrawler something happens that made it even dumber, he saves Weaver. I always saw the two times in Godzilla when Godzilla saves Ford from the MUTO as just lucky for Ford, Godzilla's target was the MUTO, and the saving of humanity, and more specifically Ford, was just an unintentional benefit to humanity, particularly Ford. Yet in Kong: Skull Island Weaver falls off a cliff into the water, and Kong ignores the Skullcrawler for a second, and actively saves Weaver, goes and fishes her out, and continues fighting the Skullcrawler, while also now protecting Weaver. Is Kong like me, does he just have a crush on Brie Larson, because like I said in my review, it betrays a core theme of Godzilla, that being that these Kaiju exist in a larger ecosystem, one where  Humanity is insignificant, I used ants as a comparison in my review, and that's how I see it. Packard's desire to kill Kong is more understandable, as an act of revenge, and that need for revenge blinding him to the reality that Kong is bigger than him, both literally and metaphorically. Meanwhile Kong very literally has bigger problems, but he can put them on hold for a fleshy little human, it's a bit too cheesy for me. On the plus side, the action scenes against the smaller monsters are kind of cool; there's a fight in a Bamboo forest that will scare the living shit out of arachnophobes, and it was a cool little fight. The fight in the bone yard is one of the film's coolest fights, when the crew take on a smaller Skullcrawler, and it basically fucks them up before being incinerated by a gas vent. It was very Godzilla esque, in that all their flamethrowers and their 50 Caliber MG's were useless, and it is one way the film actually adheres to something that was good about Godzilla, plus it was a fun scene, which is good.

Finally there's the thing, that thing, it was just me and a very attractive cleaner in the cinema at this point, everyone else was gone, and she even turned the lights back off for me, so I could see the post credits scene. The scene basically consists of Conrad and Weaver in an interrogation room with the Monarch symbol on the wall, Brooks and the Great Wall chick walk in and tell them that Kong isn't the only king, a direct implication that Kong is not the only giant monster, before showing them photos of cave paintings depicting four monsters; Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan and Ghidorah, before the film cuts to black, and you hear Godzilla's roar. This is obviously a big deal for the monsterverse, it was known before that Legendary had permission to use these three Toho monsters, and it looks like these three monsters will be in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, which has me both stupidly excited, and a bit nervous. First though, the scene itself, it's set up in a very deliberate way to get a reaction out of you, with the building music, and with the order of the pictures; starting with the four monsters individually, before showing a painting depicting Godzilla and Ghidorah together, before playing the Godzilla roar, I won't lie, it worked on me, seeing that these monsters are coming got me a bit giddy, and hearing that roar again, good god, hearing that roar in a cinema again was incredible, even a bit tingly, and I fucking love it. I'm excited to see these three monsters in a Godzilla sequel, being a fan of Godzilla from a very early age, I've grown up watching and loving these monsters, and to see them appear in an American film with American money behind them is something I really really want to see. My concern however is that three monsters is too much, more specifically these three; Mothra, Rodan and Ghidorah, three monsters that have all been around since the 60's, and will inevitably all have their fans with their own things they want to see. These monsters are big deals, Mothra in particular will be a very tricky one, in fact I'd argue a Mothra solo film is a better idea to start with than throwing her in with three other really popular monsters in a film that could very easily go down the Batman v Superman route of being really bloated and muddled. Another concern I have is believability; Godzilla sets up a world that isn't entirely insane, with a Kaiju ecosystem consisting of numerous super species. Mothra in the older Toho films is a literal god, who usually pals around with a pair of fairies, which isn't a joke, I reckon that would be hard to sell in a realistic monster universe. And Godzilla may be able to expel vast amounts of radiation out of his mouth as a weapon, but at least he's not a three headed alien like Ghidorah, sure he might be a mutant or something, a freak of nature with multiple heads, the alien part will probably be left out too. Mothra on the other hand, again, I think should get her own film, it's possible that she could be featured in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, then get a solo film in the future, similar to Wonder Woman, but again, Batman V Superman was a muddled mess.

Kong: Skull Island, upon reflection, does not hold up even remotely as well as Godzilla, and while I had fun watching it, it is an inferior film, and a film I hope doesn't set a precedent for this new Monster cinematic universe, because I don't just want to see movies with my childhood hero monsters in them, I want to see movies with my childhood hero monsters in them that are good. Godzilla was good, hell, it was great, Kong: Skull Island however is just good, and though that tease at the end has me really excited for Godzilla: King of the Monsters, I don't want that film to be just good, and I really don't want it to be a clumsy, overcrowded mess.

Kong: Skull Island movie review

Here's what you need to know; The discovery of an island in the Pacific previously unknown to science has Monarch agents pressuring for a scientific expedition, and complete with a military escort, they hope not to run into problems. Unfortunately they do run into a problem; the island's resident building sized ape, who's not pleased with their arrival, it quickly becomes apparent that the expedition was never purely scientific in nature, and that Skull Island is no normal island.
It should be apparent that Godzilla (2014) is a film I love; and since Kong: Skull Island is a shared universe film, I've been very buzzed to see this film that will ultimately kick off the Godzilla-Kong Monsterverse, like very buzzed. Now I've finally watched it, and like Godzilla before it, I was not going in with an objective mindset, it's why I watched it twice.

Kong: Skull Island wastes no time in its introduction, depicting American and Japanese fighter pilots crash landing on Skull Island and fighting their way through its jungles, before having a run in with Kong and realising the futility and unimportance of their war. What follows is some very Godzilla-esque opening credits, which is very nice to see, if a bit obvious, as if they were trying to remind you of something. The film then gives us a semi-alright introduction to its relevant characters; Conrad is one such character; a former special forces guy who can fuck people up with a pool cue, Weaver is another, a photojournalist and anti war photographer. It's bizarre that the film focuses on those two so much, since they are among this film's sizable mass of really uninteresting characters, both of them get very little development, they just are; Conrad has a bit of exposition where he talks to Weaver about his Dad, but that's literally it, Weaver gets some exposition from Packard, but again, that's it. We'll get to Packard in a minute, but first the Monarch agents, Randa and Brooks are the instigators of this expedition, and they get about as much development as Conrad and Weaver, while San literally just appears and gets no development at all. It's worth noting that I'm getting these names from IMDB because I didn't remember them, I'm not even going to try with the soldiers in this film, who do have names, and sometimes are entertaining and funny, but they're obviously this film's fodder for the action scenes and monster attacks. The film does have two saving graces in its characters, thankfully; Packard, a Vietnam war hero with a surprisingly interesting vendetta against Kong, is a very interesting guy to watch, as his personal mission to kill Kong sends him more off the rails. While Marlow is easily the best character in the film; the American pilot from earlier, he's been on the island for nearly thirty years, and the scenes when he's asking people what the world is like now are fascinating, his history with the island is surprisingly touching, as is the resolution to his story, and he is a character I genuinely liked. This being a film in the same world as Godzilla, some changes are going to be made to the familiar Kong story, for starters it's set in the 1970's which means great music, and takes on a story more comparable to a Godzilla movie than any previous Kong movie. Even then this film is considerably smaller in scope than Godzilla; isolating itself and its characters to a tiny island, and replacing the Jaiju apocalypse threat the MUTO's posed for a turf war between Kong and this film's version of the MUTO's, creatures that Marlow calls Skullcrawlers. This is not a huge deal, but it does take away from some of the epicness of Godzilla, even if the Kaiju brawls in this film look more like Pacific Rim. Something else this film lacks that Godzilla had was a sense of finality in its ending, I can't really explain without spoiling it, but I think I know why; mentality, Godzilla was a film made to stand on its own, hence the film actually finishes, whereas Kong: Skull Island is laying the ground work for Godzilla: King of the Monsters and Godzilla vs. Kong, it even has a post credits scene, which is as MCU as it gets, and it's clear that the finite amount of effort that goes into these films was more split here than in Godzilla, and it makes the film as a whole weaker.

This film does however have some other saving graces besides Marlow and Packard, one of them is Kong, who you'd think is the star of the show, not some really underdeveloped humans, but remember, Godzilla did that, only difference is Godzilla did it better. The scenes when Kong is destroying things are awesome, obviously; the opening action scene when he obliterates the military escort is huge and violent, and it's massively entertaining. Again trying to remind you of Godzilla, the film teases a big throw down with Kong and the Skullcrawlers, before the big kaiju throw down that is the film's finale. These action scenes are very entertaining, particularly the final fight, while Packard's crusade against Kong also reaches a satisfying peak. The film also has a few action scenes scattered throughout where the humans are pitted against some of the smaller nasties of Skull Island, and they're also suitably entertaining, and pad the film with a bit more action, which is something the more simple part of my brain isn't going to complain about. What my simple brain part will complain about however is how this film does, a few times, become really cheesy. A tiny five and a half foot human trying to connect emotionally with a one hundred foot tall ape is dumb, where it kind of made sense in the older Kongs, this is, again, more like a conventional kaiju film, and seeing that Kong Ann dynamic being played out with Weaver and this new giant Kong looks silly, and is silly. In that the film does betray an element of Godzilla, that being the insignificance and futility of humanity in this larger kaiju ecosystem, apparently Kong is so altruistic that he will go out of his way to save something that is to him what an ant is to us. The film continues betraying Godzilla in other areas, mainly with its shift more towards cheesy Pacific Rim style action over the grounded and serious destruction in Godzilla, is it worth complaining about, yes and no, since the seriousness of Godzilla is one of the reasons I love it, yet it's always awesome to see giant monsters fighting, even better when he's batting things up the face with trees and blades-of-chaosing with a boat propeller. it is something I'm conflicted on, because I did really enjoy this film's action scenes. But really, conflicted is a good way of describing the film; clearly it's trying to be its own movie, to be a monster movie, but at the same time it's trying to set up the Monsterverse and be like Godzilla, it keeps the attention on its humans, but does a worse job with them than Godzilla did, but puts more focus on the kaiju fights, again being more like a typical monster movie. It's humans are flat hero and fodder characters, with a few exceptions the film doesn't explore enough in my opinion, and the film, while having some really satisfying Kong action, is less satisfying overall compared to Godzilla, as it also prioritises setting up for Godzilla: King of the Monsters, which, while really cool, is not necessary, and it leaves the film on a Hollow note. All in all though, I did enjoy Kong: Skull island, I had a lot of fun with its monster mayhem, and I did enjoy the film's more developed characters. But this film is not as good as Godzilla, it's much closer to Pacific Rim in its style, if less visually beautiful, which would be a bad thing if glorious giant monster smack downs weren't just innately entertaining. Regardless of its flaws, I still liked my time with Kong: Skull Island, and I'd say it's worth watching.