When I was first made aware of this film it was on an illegal torrent site a friend of mine was browsing, at first I passed it off as just a shitty slasher film filled with sex and gore, but I eventually just said fuck it and decided to give it a chance, now, for this spookiest of weeks on my blog, let's review a film unlike anything I've reviewed before, Girl House.
As I do every time I'll start with the characters, and really you have 4 to choose from, Kylie, our main girl, is serviceable as a hero, she is smart, capable, and, now here's something I don't say often here, she's pretty damn sexy. But really Kylie is just our main character and little more, she's not particularly interesting and doesn't leave much of an impact, even with her sexiness. Now, her boyfriend and his friend I thought were much more interesting, the boyfriend is a cool character, and his friend, in addition to being the brains, is pretty funny, no, really funny, I liked him. And then there's Loverboy, our fucked up Psycho killer, who is just the fucked up psycho killer, he too is not particularly interesting or, from a psycho killer standpoint, very original, he's just a guy who does creepy stuff because he's creepy, you see a lot of him in his basement where it's dark and grey and spooky, pretty standard stuff. That said, there is a pretty cool scene with him at his job, it's a very minor part of the film, but it's still interesting, for reasons I won't spoil, I also won't spoil his origin story, which is the focus of the film's intro, I'll just say it goes from pretty cringe worthy to down right fucking grim very fast, and it sets the mood very nicely for the rest of the film. I guess I should mention the other girls, but here's the thing, you know it already, they're in this film simply to be sexy, which they do pretty well, and die horribly, which they also do pretty well. But again, you've seen these 'characters' dozens of times before on [insert name of porn site here]. The film does go for something that's moderately clever about vanity and beauty, but it's brief, however it is a clever little thing that I liked, as incredibly minor as it is. Speaking of concepts, the concept of the Girl House is really interesting, albeit explained in a really cringe worthy way, a site that broadcasts the day to day of the girls 24/7 in a Big Brother style, it's something I'm pretty surprised doesn't actually exist, or maybe it does and I just don't know about it. Also, this film is pretty gory and fucked up, minor spoiler, a girl chokes to death after getting a giant dildo violently rammed down her throat, did I also mention this film is dirty, because yes, it's extremely dirty, but if you read my synopsis and didn't know the film would be like that, yeah. It's creepy at first when the guy gets into the house, but here is a massive problem this film has, everyone in the Girl House is deaf, this must be so because they are completely oblivious to the screaming and thumping as Loverboy runs around the house killing everyone, it really does get on my nerves just how obvious this guy is, and how blind they all are to him, oh yeah, they're blind as well. With that in mind, the killings are kind of cool, albeit extremely gory and messed up, and the showdown between Kylie and Loverboy is actually really cool and pretty clever, not to mention intense as all shot, and you know I love me some tension.
Girl House is an interesting film, at first glance it's a very average looking slasher film, but to be honest, calling it that wouldn't be giving it enough credit. It has some smart ideas, including a really interesting idea in the Girl House, and a few little things here and there that are pretty cool. I really like how unapologetic this film is, both with the gore and with the sex, and I love it's finale, which is intense and cool. But it has mostly unoriginal and uninteresting characters, which is a drag, and it really bugs me how oblivious everyone is to the psycho killer. To be honest though I'm actually glad I gave this film a chance, it's not worth going out and hunting it down, but if you ever get the chance, I'd recommend giving Girl House a watch.
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